Girls Gone Dead

I have a friend who believes that bad movies have to be ignored when it comes to writing a review, advising me numerously: "Don't glorify junk". I used to disagree with him, debating that even the junkest movies have to be reviewed; to learn about the different faces of "bad", to chronicle a movie despite its low quality, to spread awareness, or to register your opinion anyway.

This round, I swear, for the very first time in my life as a reviewer, I feel that he's right. Because just writing about (Girls Gone Dead) seems like a glorification of junk, rather filth!

So it's a slasher. And there are the forever usual goods: naked girls + cruel murders. Namely: nudity + gore. In more pure words: sex and violence. BUT made in the worst worst worst Z-movies' traditions!

The production is surreal. The sex factor is beyond inhuman. The performance is extremely painful. Long story short; the artistic everything is what really "Gone Dead"!

After Quentin Tarantino's (Grindhouse - 2007), as if a wave of so proud nonsense was born through many independent companies. They thought that they were making the genre badly, yet in a respected self-parodying and honoring manner. However, they impudently forgot to do anything right in the way!

The wicked subtlety was replaced by stubborn primitiveness. And parodying the stupidity was done by frank true stupidity. For little instance, some of the special effects look gross-out, not because it tries to cinematically look gross-out, but because they're actually gross-out!

The cyclopean marathon of "which was the worst?" doesn't end. I mean, was it the black midget?, was it the comedy?, was it the girls? No, it was my status while watching all of that, where "great" is deserved being said about one thing, and one thing only, in this movie: its superpower to make you vomit!

This is incredibly poor, abysmally dirty, and deadly ugly. As a horror, horror-parody, or even too-bad-it's-good movie; IT'S LOUSY. Though, to find any appropriate definition for it; I can say that it's a parody of the horror-parody, so horrifically bad, and no comic at all!

It kills you by ugliness; and what a cruel killing that is.

Ho-ho, what a great opening for this flick, A girl entering a church were everything seems normal suddenly changes into a black mass and one girl has to die, full frontal gratuitous nudity combined with gore so it surely had my attention. But then the girl that entered the church wakes up, it was a nightmare.

From there on we got all clichés. The virgin looking girl becoming the hot chick. being warned not to go to a place because it's weird. Scantily clad girls....cell phones placed in cleavage, swimming pool swim turns into breast showing, you know what I mean, it's one for the boys because boobs do act better than the girls but they do forget it has to be a horror as stated on the DVD. I never watched it for the comedy because by now we all know that horror and comedy mostly doesn't work out that good.

When the killer enters it do has a few nasty moments and it all looks good but it's the acting that tears this down and the slowness of the flick itself. What attracted me more were the well known faces, Ron Jeremy, Beetlejuice, Linnea Quigley and I can go on and on.

At the end of the day, no horror, bad acting, when the killing comes in it's okay and bloody, but overall its watching girls showing their tits from A till C cup and walking around in bikini's. Not that much blood running but i'm sure that some guys watching this will their blood have running to one place....

Gore 1,5/5 Nudity 3/5 Effects 1,5/5 Story 1/5 Comedy 0/5

I seen this movie had Jerry Lawler in it. Being that I am a huge wrestling fan, I felt it my duty to check this out. I'm just going to start by rating this movie in several categories.

Gore 5/10 (effects weren't overly realistic, but still okay for the budget) Storyline 4/10 (The revelation of the killer at the end, although not a surprise was still okay.) Cinematography 8/10 (Camera work was actually pretty good) Nudity 10/10 Overall, I'd give this one a 5/10. The killer's costume and persona was not only corny and stupid but the costume itself was unbelievably stupid. It is a B movie but actually contains some great camera work. There quite a few TV commercials/cut scenes that are so stupid they are funny.

It seems most of the budget went into paying the broads to get naked, paying Jerry Lawler, and what was left went into the camera work and the cut scenes. Character "Missy" has the best set of breasts and the anticipation for when/if she was going topless was killing me more than learning where the plot of the movie was going. This is a B flick that follows loosely in the footsteps of movies like "Broken Lizard's Club Dread". I'd say if nothing more it's worth the watch simply for the nudity and the laughs. Ron Jeremy and Beetlejuice (Howard Stern) are in it as well, although it's obvious they were just there for comedic relief. Enjoy!

As a life long howard stern fan i had to watch this movie after spotting beetlejuice on the cover. for those of you that don't know he is the black midget with the tiny head on the cover and he is a beyond retarded person.

So right off the bat i am gonna tell you this movie blows big time. i am sure you already suspected that but you are reading the reviews to find out just how much it sucks and if it is so bad it ends up being good. sorry that is not the case.

the movie is about an hour and 45 mins but it feels like 4 hours of torture. honestly i didn't see the whole movie because at 1 point i started reading a magazine then later i was browsing the internet. it was all i could do to get through the movie.

im gonna list a few things that weren't bad because that's easier. the soundtrack, although it had no recognizable songs (except shack your ass bitch, from the stern show) the ones i heard were good. jerry lawler's performance was passable. not great but much better then everyone else. lots and lots of titties but they are porn stars so who really cares? the special effects aka the blood and guts were the only thing done right in this movie considering what it cost to make.

now the really bad. the sheer amount of head shaking in this movie makes me want to shake my head. and there is a part at the end (if you make it that far) where the girls are squatting repeatedly in fear, i am not sure anybody really directed this movie. the background or ambient music is stock or public domain because i know I've heard it in other bad low budget movies. horns and flutes and so on. there is nothing original or special about this movie.

i say skip it unless you got some buddies over and you want to play a drinking game involving drinking when you see head shakes or boobs.

Hands up if you like hot women. And hands up if you enjoy excessive violence. If you haven't got both hands high in the air, then you've got the wrong film, because babes and blood is what Girls Gone Dead is all about. Although described as a comedy/horror, decent laughs and scares are in short supply, while T&A and gore fill almost every frame.

The film sees six sexy girlfriends spending spring break together being targeted by a killer brandishing a massive warhammer (a cool weapon—part axe, part hammer). That's pretty much it as far as plot is concerned, at least until the unmasking of the maniac and we get a typical slasher explanation for their killing spree.

During the course of the film we get lots of skin from some very curvaceous cuties (blonde lead Katie Peterson and brunette Brandy Whitford are smokin'!), oodles of cool blood and guts courtesy of Marcus Koch, and fun cameos from cult icons such as ex-pornstar Ron Jeremy, scream queen Linnea Quigley, and teeny-tiny bug-eyed Howard Stern regular Beetlejuice (who gets his head chopped off!).

Obviously, it's all very puerile, but since when did a film have to be sophisticated to be fun?