The Summer of Massacre

I usually love low budget horror movies. In my opinion some are even better than the big budget blockbusters. Alas, thus is not one of them. When I read that this was made by one of the protégés of Hershel Gordon Lewis, the king if gore, and gad the highest body count if any movie, I told myself id check it out. Big mistake. If u live gore, you'll probably like this. If you lice gore and watch this, you'll be horribly let down by the terrible cgi gore effects. I mean, I've seen more realistic violence in kids shows. Most of the stories in this five story anthology revolve around an innocent person being murdered, n then running around (literaly in the first story) murdering other innocent people for no apparent reason. There's about one or two people murdered about every minute, and while there were some interesting death scenes ( a woman being murdered by being made to choke on her own hair,a man in a convenience store being suffocated by a bag of ice and then having his head bashed in with said bag if ice) they are ruined by the horrible cgi. If you have the chance to see this for free, its a good way to kill 98 minutes of your life. If not, don't waste your money buying this.

High school film projects have greater production standards and aptitude at film making. This... this steaming pile of self indulgence has wasted valuable resources that could have gone elsewhere and enriched us all. Even if the production costs alone were donated to Joseph Zuma, it would have been more profitably spent. I urge every single one of you to find any hard copy and destroy it. This concerns the welfare of future generations and we owe it to them to never allow this to come to corrupt their integrity.

I'd vomit again, but...there's nothing left...

Starring: Brinke Stevens,Cleve Hall and Ted Alderman.

A JOE CASTRO Experience.

This film is a ride of Painful Proportions,Not because it's hard to watch ( Think of starting a Drinking Game for every death on screen ?) But,You almost feel bad for each victim,Over & Over again.

Let's breakdown the anthology segments.

RAMPAGE,Was first on DVD and can be summed up -An attack leads to another and another.

Some highlights( Wrong words?) would be the BINOCULAR shoving into skull and Blood & Guts spewing onto the camera lens (alot).

There is some very unique kills,Almost video game worthy and Let's see GRAND THEFT AUTO try the Auto-Shop scene anytime soon.

LUMP,Perhaps is alittle mean( Yeah,Even for this flick) and has the saving grace of BRINKE STEVENS getting to really act as the mother of a off-kilter familia.

SON OF THE BOOGIEMAN,A nannie ? dares some kids to go into a haunted house and is raped by the ogre within and spawns a child years later,that SHREK-like figure has been killing to see.

BURN, Has some nice fire effects and then a PLOT about two gay firemen allowed to burn to death while embraced and the revenge the disfigured mess brings to all fire starters for decades after.

Joe Castro,Steve Escobar and Schroeder have a product from Breaking Glass Pictures that will make Amazon very happy it carried this out of season (?) gore fest.

Years ago I told a friend that I would love to see a movie that was nothing but action. Guns, explosions, martial arts and fighting everywhere with no plot, no good guys or bad guys, no main characters, just non-stop action. I called it an exercise in "movie minimalism". It would get to the good stuff, cutting out the "pork" of drama, useless plot lines and bad acting. Truth be told, I would still like to see it.

But my desire for it is somewhat tempered now that I have seen this piece of work. The first 4th of the movie is exactly what I was talking about so long ago: Killing, sans everything else (including good special effects). And now that I have seen it, I confess that it was pretty useless in terms of entertainment.

But as for the rest of the film? It's garbage. I don't know what else to say. I could talk about it's developmental virtues, but it has none. And chances are if you've read this far you are getting bored with this review anyway.

So I want to just mention that this movie is designed to entertain people with gratuitous violence and murder, and not much else. You aren't supposed to watch it and cringe, you are supposed to empathize with the killers and let your evil side rise to the surface. You are supposed to laugh and glorify in the people getting ripped apart and hi-five the killers on the way out, assuring them that you really love their work.

For those of us without the ability to empathize with psychopaths, this film offers nothing.

Without exaggeration, this is quite possibly the WORST film I have EVER seen in my entire life. I want whomever may be reading this to take a moment to let that really sink in. I have easily seen thousands,(if not hundreds of thousands) of films in my life, and this one actually manages to be the worst. First of all, there is no plot to speak of, just a bunch of random murder going on... and these murders - again no exaggeration - are done with the absolute worst CGI I have ever had the displeasure of seeing. I have seriously seen children who did better CGI effects on free software for zero-budget Star Trek fan films. Hell, a child could do better than this on Windows 95 with Paintbrush.

The simple fact that this film holds a world record for anything other than biggest waste of my time as a viewer is frankly disgusting. I know there are some movies out there that you'll read a bad review for and be like "oh, I bet this is so bad it's good or at least kind of funny", but I assure you, it's not. It's a miracle in that it has no redeeming qualities whatsoever.