Yétis : Terreur en montagne

This begins as two mountain climbing men chat happily. They are about to become very, very sad. One appears to be killed by the "Abominable Snowman" of the title. The thing varies in size and looks more like a well-fed wolf than a snowman. It would be interesting to assume the "Abominable Snowman" eats people, but it isn't clear what happens. Next, solo skier Chuck Campbell (as Brian Tanner) hires helicopter pilot Adrian Paul (as Mark Haggerty) to take him to the top of the mountain. It seems strange that Mr. Campbell is left all alone to ski and we're assuming he's really there to find out what happened to the other man, or men. Campbell is followed up the mountain by his distraught sister Lauren O'Neil (as Nina Tanner) and leader-type Nicholas Boulton (as Rick McCabe). He organizes a team of younger actors to go up the mountain in Mr. Paul's helicopter and find the missing people...

Paul, the handsome "Highlander" star, smartly soaks himself in the local bar with a notably busty barmaid...

Those tagging along are frantic Elizabeth Croft (as Stacey), stressed Sean Teale (as Erlander) and cute Sam Cassidy (as Jon). They all have dramatic moments, with Mr. Cassidy sporting the best hairstyle. At one point, Ms. Croft is angry because Mr. Teale did not try to hit the "Abominable Snowman" with a snowball. The story is difficult to follow and the plot is confusing. Most of the cast has apparently fought together in the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars. Like the Wars, the mountain has been claiming victims for years, and this must stop. If not, we could have an "Abominable Snowman II". Since so much of the story makes no sense, you should forget trying to figure out what has previously happened. One strength is the broadcast of this movie in color. When the main team is assembled, the colorfully styled uniforms help characterization. Best of all is Paul's helicopter, which stays dependably red.

*** Abominable Snowman (1/26/13) Marko Makilaakso ~ Chuck Campbell, Adrian Paul, Lauren O'Neil, Nicholas Boulton

Bottom-of-the-barrel entertainment, brought to us by the SyFy Channel. I sometimes wonder whether they churn these films out on autopilot as I could have sworn I'd seen this before, even though I hadn't. The IMDb trivia page announces that this was shot in Bulgaria in 13 days, so you get an idea of the kind of quality on offer here.

I'll briefly list what to expect, anyway: sloppily written characters you don't care about, going-through-the-motions acting, a distinct lack of imagination on the part of both director and scriptwriter. My favourite scene was where once character announced that she had suddenly remembered that the location she was in was the same place her father died all those years ago...bad memory, huh? Inevitably, what makes DEADLY DESCENT a laughing stock of a film is the excruciatingly awful CGI used to animate the Abominable Snowmen. It's worse than an old PC game I used to play in the 1990s called NIGHTMARE CREATURES! There are also way too many silly skiing sequences to pad out the running time, hardly any gore, and one of the most rubbishy-looking explosions I've seen in a while. Another SyFy howler, then.

Worse than the stuck-on-a-chairlift movie "Frozen" and only slightly better than the movie "Avalanche Sharks".

Fourth-rate acting, ridiculous script on so many different levels and completely unrealistic from a lifelong skier's point of view. Everything from the set, the premise, plot, storyline, dialog, acting, avalanche scene and assumptions and everything is as utterly-stupid as "Wild Hogs" is for motorcyclists.

Clearly the folks who wrote the script never skied a single day in their lives. No scene would play out in real life like it did in the movie, all scenes were contrived, cheesy and completely manufactured by amateurs from a bunny-slope cartoonish perspective. Even if you took away the snow monster piece, which is in a class by itself - everything about this movie is wrong, irreverent and unrealistic on every known level. You don't try to "outrun" and avalanche - you ski a 45 degree angle traverse! Duh! And if a party is caught in an avalanche - there are not these neatly-piled little mounds covering skiers who magically stick their arms upwards through the snow. If you are buried in an avalanche, there is not light in there - it is pitch black.

Skiers do not interact on any mountain like this - this is a movie for people who have never skied a day in their life and do not know any better. I could pretend to know a lot about Arctic Fishing and write a story about offshore fisherman who bought their equipment at the local Wal-mart too. Or who went fishing from jet skis in near the Aleutian Islands. But anyone who knows fishing more than me (which is almost anyone) would be insulted if I made a movie about fishing.

That is what I am talking about. If you do not know the subject matter and cannot appreciate the sport of skiing and boarding - then do not pretend to and try to make a movie about it. Go back to your ski park with your photo ops on your 5-day yuppie vacation at Vail where you belong - but it certainly is not in the backcountry - because you have no business being there or making a movie about it either. Go home and play video games, but stay out of the snow unless you actually have something that resembles a clue.

If you are going to make a movie about skiing, then consult people who really ski next time. I am not talking about yuppies wanna-bees who ski blue groomers on their "Griswold family ski vacation". I am talking about backcountry skiers, people who heli-ski or serve as a heli-guide, people who know how to use a beacon, probe and shovel and ski 50+ days per year - like me.

Do not waste five minutes on this movie - because you will never get those five minutes that you wasted ever back in you life. This movie portrays an artificial alternate reality about skiing - which has no basis in real life but only makes a mockery of the sport.

A sister sets out to rescue her missing brother with the help of a group of her solider friends on leave.

Yes, the world needs serious Yeti creature features and one about a rescue for a brother who revenge on a beast which killed his dad is a good idea on paper but the CGI let it down from the outset.

Directed by Marko Mäkilaakso and written by Nathan Atkins Abominable Snowman, a.k.a Yeti and Deadly Decscent is a good concept but underdeveloped and poorly executed. There is a budget but Syfy producers and editors appear to rarely, if ever deliver.

Abominable Snowman does benefit from Atkins serious story and tone but sadly it never breaks the made for TV production value or script which makes it unintentionally comedic at times.

Out of the snow there is hope as the design of the creature works, the scenery is breath taking, there's also some nice skiing, snowboarding and Elizabeth Croft as Stacey is notable.

This is one of the passable better ones but how many good made for television Yeti films are there?

That's how I found this garbage. I was a huge Highlander fan, the 1st movie and the TV show that is. Then it was canceled because Adrian Paul wanted to move on, do other things, damn did he aim low or what? That said, I'm also a Bigfoot fan, since the 70's with Legend of Boggy creek, campy, low budget movie, but a great film. That is why I sat through this movie. Dread man, dread. Dialog written by third graders, CGI by some teen on his laptop, and what was that creature supposed to be? I watched this so you, dear reader, won't have to.