The Guest House

There is a lot that actually makes the film feel like something on late-night premium cable that has been just edited enough, if you know what I mean. That said, the editing does keep it from feeling overly salacious and appealing to the lowest common denominator. The overall production does scream cheap, with the majority of the film either being limited to two people in a room, or clearly being shot "guerilla style" to save money. There are a few narrative points that with some very minor changes could have made the overall story of the two leads' "self-discovery" much more believable. And the two main male characters are so poorly acted, that it is beyond simply being laughable. "Porn acting" would actually be a compliment to these guys. All that said, the two female leads really do bring the film WAY UP; they are clearly comfortable with each other, and when they are talking to each other, it's very clear that they are developing at the very least a deep friendship. And their romantic chemistry is there, both physically and emotionally. By the end of the film, it really does feel like they've been on a real (though fast) journey. And it is those two actresses (Ruth Reynolds and Madeline Merritt) that do elevate this film beyond being cheap and schlocky.

The Guest House is not, by any stretch of imagination, a "good movie." However, it is an enjoyable, easy to watch romp in lesbian fantasy-land. If you are looking for flowing dialog, lack of cliché's, though- provoking storyline conflict, then this film is not for you. However, if you would like to check out of the real world for a while, and watch two beautiful women fall in love Romeo and Juliet style (minus the suicides, plus the sensual sex scenes) then by all means, this film is worth your time. Sure the plot is predictable. Sure the dialog is a little clichéd. And I'll admit, the giggles are a little annoying. But sometimes, that's all you want in a movie, right?

Well, there's 90 minutes I can't get back and I'm blaming IMDB. Why, you ask? Because after I watched the Pauly Shore/Aimee Teegarden Guest House (2020), the suggestions that came up here included the earlier version. So I found it watched it...and really wish I hadn't.

The story might have been okay, had it been properly shot. This film looked like someone with a very unsteady hand had been thrown a camcorder for the duration and asked to make this movie. And not even an expensive camcorder, either. Just your standard run-of-the-mill one.

Anyway, older girl and younger girl fall in love over the weekend. Both have baggage and there's a bit of a plot twist late that - no spoilers here - I kinda figured out twenty minutes in. If you're looking for lots of white-hot girl on girl action, keep going. What there is of that is pretty concealed.

Oh, but there is a gorgeous sunset scene on the Santa Monica Pier ferris wheel. That's about the best this film has to offer.

The worst part of this movie was the production value. It honestly seemed like a high school student made this movie for a project. The camera work and angles were horrible and even the sound was off. The acting, while not stellar, wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. There are really only about four characters in the film. Two of them are atrocious, one is just bad, and the other is actually fairly decent. The plot is also not terrible. There isn't much that goes on but if the acting and camera work were better, it would actually be a solid, intimate story. Overall, this isn't a good movie but with a higher budget it could be more watchable.

No, seriously, it doesn't have to be as bad as many reviewers claim. It just needs a couple of things. First, it needs a sequel. And here's my idea. The two girls decide to get married, and, in a unique twist, they ask dad to be both the best man and give the bride away. But it's not a traditional wedding. They fly to Jamaica and have a nude wedding at Hedonism III.

The other thing the sequel would need is a new production company. And who better to pull off such a sequel a dozen years after the initial release, but to have The Asylum step in and save the day. Just think about it, Asylum could factor in sharks try to disrupt the service. Dad could step up and save the soon to be brides from a threatening Sharknado. Then they could franchise the movie as the happy couple takes on the world. Dad is now their manservant, and he's continually finding ways to keep the brides safe from the ever-present danger of sharks, even as they relocate to rural North Dakota where there's an emerging emo music scene. I have full faith that The Asylum can pull it off and turn an erstwhile one-off dud into a franchise dud.