Aliens vs. Avatars

I was invited to watch this movie with a friend of mine. We both love Aliens and Avatar movies, so here might be the perfect combination.

Unfortunately it turned out to be more like a hangover or perhaps someone used to produce XXX-rated movies who have made this.

I am not sure if its a serious production or just some school project that was made to see how many IMDb users would tilt about it.

I hadn't heard of this movie until my friend invited me and after watching 50% of it (zapping through the rest) - I guess we know why it never showed up in any cinemas. No one would pay to watch this movie in a cinema.

The special effects looks like something made with AfterEffects in 2002 and the actors (if they are at all) are so bad I for a start thought this was going to be a soft-porn movie.

The "alien/avatar" parts are - well, looks like it was made as a school project.

If its just a school project, they can be "okay" proud with it, but don't waste your time on this if you like Sci-Fi. There is NOTHING in this movie worth watching - well except a half nude scene, aha! so it WAS a soft-porn movie or?

I watched that flick a few days ago. Of course not completely. I guess nobody ever did.

The most interesting fact about that movie is that it was directed by Lewis Schoenbrun. I did not knew that guy till yet. But it seems that he is some kind of mentally ill reincarnation of Ed Wood.

The movie is really not worth any description. There is a blue avatarish creature in a spaceship orbiting earth, a Pretator like other creature and a Lost in Space (1965) look a like robot. Also some college students. All of them interact somehow without any sense or story line. They walk around on grass, now and then you see a tree. Guess the whole film location was not bigger then 100 square meters. (Maybe somebody's garden or a lawn beside a motorway station?) Oh! Also there are some laser beams in a 1970s movie stile.

I was fascinated by the most unnecessary nudity plot ever added into a movie. Its somewhere at the beginning of the film. Some chicks hike to a cabin. Then one of both instantly starts undressing while the other one walks without any reason a few meters into the forest. The conversation and the music gives you the feeling that you got accidentally the wrong disc and you are watching some kind of weired hiking soft porn. The second chick undresses during she walks into the forest and apparently just throws her cloth on the ground. Which really makes no sense in any way. After making sure that you have seen enough breasts, the predator thing shows up and kill her or whatever, i do not care.

Well if you wanna see the most unnecessary nudity scene ever, then watch the movie to this point. Then hit the stop button and bump your head for the next 40 minutes rhythmic against the wall. I guarantee you! It will be much more fun and hurt less then watching the rest of the flick.

This is one of THE most crappiest movies i have EVER seen. The producers didn't even TRY and make an effort when it comes to "morphing" from human to creature...an utter hopeless "show" ( or a "movie" as the producer and crew would have liked it to be ) My kid could have done this on his cellphone's "camera"... NOT WORTH THE EFFORT TO WATCH. I need to add 10 lines to make this post, and i have nothing more to say. Believe me...I have been to the theater since i was 5 years old, and this is by FAR the worst of them all. Maybe if this was shot in the early '60's, it might have meant something, but to hit your name with a plank THIS hard...UNBELIEVABLE!!!

How can anybody make such a terrible sci-fi movie ?! You can't possibly imagine it to be any worse . This movie just achieved the highest level of sucking in whatever aspect imaginable ! In fact it is so terribly bad that makes you think it's made by the greatest mind of 21th century ! And you ask why is that ? Paying attention to every little Sucky detail and making it suck even more is not something ordinary men can do , it needs a genius man, getting help from a genius crew, doing a lot of thinking and hard work . So if this was the goal of the staff of the movie(sucking as much as possible in 70 minutes), then I should say they achieved it perfectly, no hesitation whatsoever ! Considering this fact we can say :

DIRECTING : Simply brilliant ---ACTING : Marginally the best acting possible to mankind ---VISUAL EFFECTS : OMG! I am sure they found real Aliens and Avatars, made them furious of each other somehow,started filming their war,got caught in the middle,survived the war,edited the valuable footage and rolled it out as a movie ,cause otherwise how could everything in the movie be so real !!!!!!!!

All the above aside , I think if you watch this movie as a comedy everything starts to change ! Then it's definitely a astonishing comedy with lots of laugh and fun !

Bad, crummy, lousy, bilge, garbage, hogwash, and still there isn't a single word in the English language to describe this badly-acted tripe. Mumbling, squeaks, squeals, blank stares and stupid grins are passed off as dialog. The *cough* "actors" outdo Pinocchio in the wooden acting stakes.

I give this waste of an otherwise perfectly good blank DVD 1/10. If not for the bizarre record attempt to get bare breasts, gross misogyny, references to incest, a person attacked by an alien, a muscled, slow-talking jock professing to be the best friend of a weakling Übergeek, lewd suggestions, virginity-fixation and sexism into the first ten minutes, it would have scored half out of ten. The half being given to the director for having the nerve to actually publish this offal.

If, within fifteen minutes of commencing to view, you don't get the urge to bleach your brain to a crisp or don't feel like running around in demented circles, beating yourself upside the skull with a heavy bat, then please, seek immediate psychiatric intervention.