Aliens vs. Avatars

I watched that flick a few days ago. Of course not completely. I guess nobody ever did.

The most interesting fact about that movie is that it was directed by Lewis Schoenbrun. I did not knew that guy till yet. But it seems that he is some kind of mentally ill reincarnation of Ed Wood.

The movie is really not worth any description. There is a blue avatarish creature in a spaceship orbiting earth, a Pretator like other creature and a Lost in Space (1965) look a like robot. Also some college students. All of them interact somehow without any sense or story line. They walk around on grass, now and then you see a tree. Guess the whole film location was not bigger then 100 square meters. (Maybe somebody's garden or a lawn beside a motorway station?) Oh! Also there are some laser beams in a 1970s movie stile.

I was fascinated by the most unnecessary nudity plot ever added into a movie. Its somewhere at the beginning of the film. Some chicks hike to a cabin. Then one of both instantly starts undressing while the other one walks without any reason a few meters into the forest. The conversation and the music gives you the feeling that you got accidentally the wrong disc and you are watching some kind of weired hiking soft porn. The second chick undresses during she walks into the forest and apparently just throws her cloth on the ground. Which really makes no sense in any way. After making sure that you have seen enough breasts, the predator thing shows up and kill her or whatever, i do not care.

Well if you wanna see the most unnecessary nudity scene ever, then watch the movie to this point. Then hit the stop button and bump your head for the next 40 minutes rhythmic against the wall. I guarantee you! It will be much more fun and hurt less then watching the rest of the flick.

Unfortunately, zero or a minus number of stars are not allowed, because even one star is already too much credit for this undefinable load of manure. Plan nine from outer space is Oscar material in comparison to this waste of time. Is it really that bad, you might ask. No, it's even worse. The acting is awful. The script is awful. The costumes are even worse. A teenager with a moderate computer could make better effects. It looks like someone decided to make a film without any budget at all. The result is as can be expected. Just five minutes into the film, i already knew it was bad. Instead of switching it off, i kept watching it, hoping it would improve. A dreadful mistake on my part. It didn't get better, it got worse. Save yourself a lot of wasted time and don't bother watching it. You'll be a lot better off. The only advantage of watching more than an hour of this garbage is that bad films such as Plan nine from outer space or Starcrash seem to have become a lot more watchable than before.

I was invited to watch this movie with a friend of mine. We both love Aliens and Avatar movies, so here might be the perfect combination.

Unfortunately it turned out to be more like a hangover or perhaps someone used to produce XXX-rated movies who have made this.

I am not sure if its a serious production or just some school project that was made to see how many IMDb users would tilt about it.

I hadn't heard of this movie until my friend invited me and after watching 50% of it (zapping through the rest) - I guess we know why it never showed up in any cinemas. No one would pay to watch this movie in a cinema.

The special effects looks like something made with AfterEffects in 2002 and the actors (if they are at all) are so bad I for a start thought this was going to be a soft-porn movie.

The "alien/avatar" parts are - well, looks like it was made as a school project.

If its just a school project, they can be "okay" proud with it, but don't waste your time on this if you like Sci-Fi. There is NOTHING in this movie worth watching - well except a half nude scene, aha! so it WAS a soft-porn movie or?

...if you consume this flick according to the following instructions: Get a bottle of good wine (I would suggest a claret), some fine cheese (Comté and Bleu d'Auvergne, for instance) and fresh bread (Ciabata, why not). Settle down in a comfy chair, with a glass and a bite and fast forward the movie through the first few minutes to the scene where Victoria De Mare walks topless towards the camera. Her suitably attractive body bears looking at. Pause the film... Enjoy your wine and cheese casting an occasional glance at the paused screen and when the bottle is empty, stop the film. You can now feel that you have been moderately entertained by this film (which is more than you will be able to say about any scene in Blubberella). Trust me, this is the only way to watch this film!

How can anybody make such a terrible sci-fi movie ?! You can't possibly imagine it to be any worse . This movie just achieved the highest level of sucking in whatever aspect imaginable ! In fact it is so terribly bad that makes you think it's made by the greatest mind of 21th century ! And you ask why is that ? Paying attention to every little Sucky detail and making it suck even more is not something ordinary men can do , it needs a genius man, getting help from a genius crew, doing a lot of thinking and hard work . So if this was the goal of the staff of the movie(sucking as much as possible in 70 minutes), then I should say they achieved it perfectly, no hesitation whatsoever ! Considering this fact we can say :

DIRECTING : Simply brilliant ---ACTING : Marginally the best acting possible to mankind ---VISUAL EFFECTS : OMG! I am sure they found real Aliens and Avatars, made them furious of each other somehow,started filming their war,got caught in the middle,survived the war,edited the valuable footage and rolled it out as a movie ,cause otherwise how could everything in the movie be so real !!!!!!!!

All the above aside , I think if you watch this movie as a comedy everything starts to change ! Then it's definitely a astonishing comedy with lots of laugh and fun !