Aliens vs. Avatars

...if you consume this flick according to the following instructions: Get a bottle of good wine (I would suggest a claret), some fine cheese (Comté and Bleu d'Auvergne, for instance) and fresh bread (Ciabata, why not). Settle down in a comfy chair, with a glass and a bite and fast forward the movie through the first few minutes to the scene where Victoria De Mare walks topless towards the camera. Her suitably attractive body bears looking at. Pause the film... Enjoy your wine and cheese casting an occasional glance at the paused screen and when the bottle is empty, stop the film. You can now feel that you have been moderately entertained by this film (which is more than you will be able to say about any scene in Blubberella). Trust me, this is the only way to watch this film!

Bad, crummy, lousy, bilge, garbage, hogwash, and still there isn't a single word in the English language to describe this badly-acted tripe. Mumbling, squeaks, squeals, blank stares and stupid grins are passed off as dialog. The *cough* "actors" outdo Pinocchio in the wooden acting stakes.

I give this waste of an otherwise perfectly good blank DVD 1/10. If not for the bizarre record attempt to get bare breasts, gross misogyny, references to incest, a person attacked by an alien, a muscled, slow-talking jock professing to be the best friend of a weakling Übergeek, lewd suggestions, virginity-fixation and sexism into the first ten minutes, it would have scored half out of ten. The half being given to the director for having the nerve to actually publish this offal.

If, within fifteen minutes of commencing to view, you don't get the urge to bleach your brain to a crisp or don't feel like running around in demented circles, beating yourself upside the skull with a heavy bat, then please, seek immediate psychiatric intervention.

Okay this is my first ever review and unfortunately its for this pile of garbage! I watched this movie just to see if it was really as bad as the other reviews claimed it to be and its much worse. I have seen my fair share of B movies and this one is in a league of its own. I wouldn't even give it a sympathetic A for good effort even if a bunch of school kids have made it and they don't look that young. Its porn acting without the sex! so you can imagine what i am talking about. The visual effects are a sorry cause and the way the story has been put together is really pathetic. All in all watch a game of golf and you will find more entertainment in that!

This is one of THE most crappiest movies i have EVER seen. The producers didn't even TRY and make an effort when it comes to "morphing" from human to creature...an utter hopeless "show" ( or a "movie" as the producer and crew would have liked it to be ) My kid could have done this on his cellphone's "camera"... NOT WORTH THE EFFORT TO WATCH. I need to add 10 lines to make this post, and i have nothing more to say. Believe me...I have been to the theater since i was 5 years old, and this is by FAR the worst of them all. Maybe if this was shot in the early '60's, it might have meant something, but to hit your name with a plank THIS hard...UNBELIEVABLE!!!

When i first took a look at the DVD cover i knew this film was going to suck...But i could not imagine that it would be such a awful film.

A short summary of this garbage:

Starts of with two girls getting undressed in the forest for no reason. Why? I don't know. Probably cause this movie is stupid. Then both girls gets killed by this horribly bad made alien. (Looks like a bad Halloween costume). Then it changes story, the girls was just a buildup to the main story. A bunch of students walk around in the forest and gets killed one by one. So a avatar comes down from space to help them. Together with the avatar they start up this cardboard lookalike robot that belong in a 50s movie to kill the alien.

The actors are a disgrace, no emotion what so ever, it's does kind of actors who thinks that they do a good job by just groaning and do heavy breathings.

And the special effects.... Looks so cheap. I know that it's a low budget movie, but why sell it in stores? They are robbing buyers money. Don't buy this movie. They are selling you dirt.

Thank you for reading this review. SwedishCritic