Crawl

One of the dullest so-called thrillers I've seen in a long time, CRAWL has aspirations to be the next classic Aussie movie. The only good thing I can say about it is that director Paul China clearly knows his movies, but there's being inspired by and ripping off, and CRAWL falls into the latter category. In various press releases, China and his brother are described as the new Coen Brothers, but CRAWL is more like a Coen Brothers rip-off.

The opening scene is about the most memorable bit in it and even that rips off NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN like nobody's business. After this point we're in BLOOD SIMPLE territory, with a slow-burning plot involving a small cast who come together on one fateful night. Bloodshed ensues, but everything is dragged out to an endless degree so it becomes a chore to sit through. There's no artistry here, no suspense or gripping moments, just a film that eventually becomes silly because it's so po-faced.

It doesn't help that the script fails to breathe life into the various uninteresting characters, or that the cast members are singularly unmemorable. But by far the worst thing about this is the director himself, who has no idea of how to make a thriller work. I think even I, with zero training in film-making, could have done a better job.

I'm a fan of low budget horror films, from Brain dead to The Loved Ones, on to the Irish film Grabbers. However, this has the feel of a director who thinks he's directing an art movie. Lots of silences, not suspense, mind you, but just silence. Literally no sound, just two people looking at each other for 5 elongated minutes. When the action comes there is no logic to it. And finally, the sound track, or more accurately that same piece of annoying music that's randomly played regardless of what happening. All you need is 3 high piano key key to make a horror soundtrack. Watch any seventies or eighties horror. The acting was good, but that's the movies only saving grace. I wish I was living in Schwarzenegger's Total Recall, cos I got a memory I want to erase.

Okay there was a superlative amount of music to attempt to crank up the tension level in this one. There was a shower scene with not enough skin. There was a spanking scene with not enough skin. Scenes are dragged on a little bit too long, as there really wasn't a whole lot going on. Can't give this one any better than a 4/10.

This one definitely had scary elements to it but by the end of the movie, I had this weird feeling of being mislead. The whole movie has a very dark comedy feel to it, but it mostly leaves you feeling confused and a little bored. I never really felt the urge to laugh, but I was aware that some stuff was meant to be funny, it just wasn't enough for me to actually laugh. It's still worth watching because there are some definite creepy situations but overall, nothing new that you probably haven't already seen.

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As the other reviewer (only other one at this point of time), I did watch this at the Frightfest in Glasgow. I really liked the suspense the movie created and the filmmakers really did a nice job of capturing intense on film! While of course the movie could've been over sooner (if not for "movie logic"), this doesn't mean you have to dislike the movie for this suspension of disbelief.

I sure hope you don't, because the movie would not be worth anything, if you start thinking like this. And I know what I'm talking about, because I do have those moments myself sometimes with movies. But this one was so fantastical, so otherworldly (great cinematography btw), that I didn't watch it as anything other than a tale or a fable (with horror mixed into it of course).

While I also wouldn't exactly call it a slow burner, it isn't really fast paced either. You've got to know that this will not rush through things and will take its time to go places. I really enjoyed that and hope they'll come up with something new soon