Scary or Die

Harks back to the days of the Horror anthologies such as Tales from the Crypt and Tales from the dark side.

The stories twists are rather predictable, in keeping with the anthologies of old, pretty shallow, lacking in substance and explanation.

There are one or two moments that make you wince slightly, but that's it, without them this would be the stuff TV Horror is made of.

Initially I thought it was a collection of short films strung together, until the cast started crossing over from one story to the next.

Watchable, but not worth dedicating your movie night to.

To be fair, if you are looking for a scare, I'd look elsewhere.

Although not entirely original at parts, Scary or Die is a modern "Vault of Horror" or "Trilogy of Terror." We are presented with five tales of the macabre as a zombie clicks on the clips on a you-tube like site.

The Crossing: When three Mexican hating rednecks murder two innocent Latino men at their dump site, they are punished three-fold.

Tajeum Lament: A Japanese man who recently lost his wife saves a woman who looks similar to her. She convinces him to meet her for a night and it's going to be a night to remember.

RE-Membered: A man with a body in his truck is pulled over by a policeman, he's about to let him go when he hears a rattling in the trunk. We've all seen it before.

Clowned - A young man is bitten by an evil clown that eats children. He begins a metamorphism into the same creature that attacked him.

Love Come Back: You can already guess what happens in this revenge story.

I give it a C because although it's entertaining, sometimes it's way too predictable.

A website host examines a series of stories that take place among residents of Los Angeles.

The Good Stor(ies): The Crossing-A group of teens take a trip to the Mexican border for fun and games with captured illegal aliens, but things take a dark turn when their previous victims rise from the dead to take revenge. Actually fairly decent enough with a clever twist here in that it's not immediately about the torture of the victims before since this one manages to get through a little spiel before getting to it's main point, which is fun but those aren't that interesting. Thankfully, the zombie attacks are gruesome and gory enough that they're one of the saving graces here, and manage to make a clichéd segment into something fun.

Clowned-After getting bit by a strange clown for his brother's birthday party, a man finds transforming into a frightening clown and tries to stave off a series of murderous urges as he searches for the one responsible for his condition. Clearly the film's main selling point as there clearly was a lot put into this one with it's extended and obvious length advantage over the others, it's also quite a lot of fun as the change comes on quite slowly and makes for a pretty chilling transformation as all the parts start coming in slowly before the big reveal at his final form which is outrageously creepy and saves the whole film just by itself. While it doesn't get resolved and features a lame shock twist, this is still bloody enough and has a great air about it that it's easily the best thing about this entry.

The Bad Stor(ies): Tae-Jung's Lament-A lonely man attempts to rescue a woman from a strange thief, and upon doing so is granted an opportunity for thanks with her and her friends, unaware they're part of a vampiric cult being hunted down by a master tracker. Far too much melodrama than horror with his rituals about trying to honor his deceased wife and trying to live while doing that, but it doesn't really have a lot of scary moments. The final twist is quite nice as they don't have any association with normal vampiric activities or actions, which again makes this quite frustrating since it doesn't make them appear to be for any reason other than a shock twist at the end. The rescue attempts aren't that bad and actually have some good stuff to them as the segment doesn't tell us what's going on and are just throwing them into the scenario. Overall, this one just feels quite lacking.

Re-Membered-Having finished his assignment, a dirty cop returns to his patrol route in an attempt to get away with his deeds, only to be constantly under suspicion that the dismembered body in his trunk is still alive. A pretty disappointing effort that again runs on tons of clichés, as this one acts like the Poe story 'The Tell-Tale Heart' with a different organ chosen as the only difference here, but the constant thumping in the trunk of the car and his frantic worry about getting away with it are just right out of that story. It's brevity is another issue, as the barely fifteen-minute time doesn't allow for it to go anywhere but the story doesn't really give it the chance to. The appearance of the still-alive body at the end doesn't have any ring to it at all, and overall this one feels like filler.

Lover Come Back-After a spat with her lover causes her to die, she returns from the grave powered by a voodoo curse to seek revenge on her philandering spouse. This is overall the weakest at barely ten minutes in length and given a pointless, needless narration which brings out the entire backstory and what's going on on-screen while it's happening and robbing it of everything it could've had by choosing to do such a tactic. Again, the story plays out the way you expect it to without any real change simply because it don't offer any place to go but to dwell in the land of the familiar and because it focuses so long on the romance to start the relationship before dwelling on the supernatural return this doesn't get the chance to do anything of any importance before it goes for the familiar, and more than any of the segments this one's inclusion is pointless and unnecessary.

Rated R: Graphic Language and Graphic Violence.

I didn't really care for it. Hey they say that review is too short so I'll write this sentence to make it longer. Done ?? 3/10

Lured by the cover art to think I was in for a killer clown movie, the Creepshow-esque hand that clicked on the scaryordie website in search of a good horror clip made me realize that this was an anthology.

I haven't bothered to check if all segments were directed by different directors, but what they lack in a unifying theme, they make up with style. The general vibe is old-school, with enough blood to keep the viewer happy but no outright gore or torture. The set-ups are also classic : zombies, vampires, devil cults and the aforementioned killer clown. Segments range from 10 to 30 minutes, with no twists. The story lines are straightforward to a point and do not try to add to any mythos. But they all deliver with elegance and a lot of promise.

Because none of the sketches tries hard to surprise you, they're better left at their short running time, which is enough to be impressed by the directorial styles displayed. This explains why the Clown segment, the longest in the anthology, is also the weakest. It outstayed its weak set-up. The first and last segments, both tales from the undead, are also the slickest and nicely round up this hodgepodge of atmospheric, but almost too respectful quickies.