If you've ever wondered what it would be like to watch paint dry while actors mumble through a script written on a napkin, Ouija: A New Beginning has you covered. This cinematic disaster manages to take the concept of a haunted Ouija board and do the unthinkable: make it boring.
Let's start with the acting, which is less "scared of ghosts" and more "confused to be on set." The cast delivers their lines like they just woke up from a nap and are still unsure what movie they're in. Emotions range from wooden to slightly less wooden, and not a single performance makes you care about anyone's fate. Honestly, I was rooting for the spirits-if only to put these characters (and the audience) out of their misery.
The directing? Imagine someone trying to build suspense but accidentally filming a slow-moving soap opera instead. Scenes drag on forever, with all the energy of a DMV line. The only thing terrifying here is the editing, which seems to actively avoid anything scary.
And then there's the story. Calling it "silly" is generous. It's a convoluted mess of clichés, plot holes, and nonsense logic. You could probably summon a demon faster than you could figure out what the heck is going on in this script. Best of all, despite being a Ouija movie, the actual board is barely in it. It's like making a Jaws sequel with no shark-just people standing around talking about maybe swimming someday.
Pacing? Think molasses in January. Scares? Nonexistent. Atmosphere? Only if you count the fog of confusion you'll be stuck in while watching.
Ouija: A New Beginning isn't just a bad horror movie-it's a masterclass in how not to make one. It'll leave you terrified that you wasted your time and money.
