Relative

The film Relative is stunning and infused with a sense of intimacy while also being brave and boundaried. I felt such emotions for Tracey's family and appreciation for her work. I do a lot of work with religious trauma and the framework for secrecy feels very similar. People we love and trust and want to honor are often the hardest to confront with health in order to have needed conversations. I was awestruck by the vision and embodiment implied gently through bold and challenging conversations. A sense of honor wells up within the film and dispels secrecy in such a way that anyone can be inspired to move in new patterns with their own family.

This film, while difficult to watch at times because of subject matter, is needed. It depicted the complex layers that truth tellers/change makers face after being honest with their family about their trauma. Seeing the effects of patriarchy and sexual abuse on this Italian-Americans hit close to home. The relationship with the older generations, and hearing them speak their truths for the first time was tremendous. This film was well-done and ended in an unexpected way that will stay with me. This film makes me wish I could sit with the older generations of my family and ask the hard questions. It also inspires me to have open, deep dialogue with my three daughters, my nieces and nephews, my friend's children on sexual safety. Tracy's bravery inspires me to be brave.

And what happens when everyone keeps quiet. Avoidance of talking about traumatic events creates a disconnection, leaving the lone person who's willing to speak up feel isolated and disconnected.

If everyone around you is saiyng 'it's no big deal', then part of you will begin to question yourself and wonder if YOU'RE the one making it a big deal.

I congratulate Tracey for being brave enough to confront her family and get them to talk. Especially her mother who, in this film just wants to move on (complete avoidance). Her grandmother and great aunts share more and other family members support Tracey as she moves through her healing with a therapist and the help of her family.

The person who gave this 1 star has cleary never had to deal with this level of trauma. It's hard enough to discuss these things in private but to make a FILM that the whole world can see take a whole other level of fortitude, bravery, and strength. The humiliation you feel when you've been violated can be debilitating. So, please read the 10 star reviews. They are more empathic.

Every family has skeletons in their closet. Unfortunately ignoring some of those skeletons cause irreparable damage that can create more, or damage others beyond repair. This courageous and honest look into one family's closet is heartbreaking and yet so healing!

The conversations that were had in this film busts those closet doors open, exposes truths long left for dead but are so necessary to help in the healing process.

Children are so often isolated, threatened, told no one will ever believe or love them that they carry those comments, believe them and sometimes don't understand why because they disassociate from the world.

This heartbreaking film is worth the watch. It's a step forward on a healing path and a peek into past generations reasons for locking those skeletons away. Bust down those doors! Speak Up and Loud if you are or were abused. Seek help.

I thought Relative was a beautifully nuance representation of the vulnerabilities that are so pervasive within families, specifically amongst children and women. It also speaks to the misogyny that is permitted to exist within families. The documentarian kept some privacy in terms of the family and showed what she felt most comfortable with. For so many families, silence is death. But, her willingness and the willingness of her mother, grandmother and great aunts to share pieces of their traumas was what made me feel so connected to this entire family. Her nuanced film gave voice to so many who don't have one. Thank you!