It's almost insane how a movie that's 30+ years old is as relevant today in 2023 as it was when it first came out!
I grew up in Utah in a LDS home where my mother battled depression (and still does) and my father was away at work and then often at church callings, leaving my mother with 7 children to raise almost as a single mom. My parents loved their kids, but mom didn't have enough energy to provided needed affection and attention to so many kids while taking care of a mini farm with large orchard. They had this property because they were taught to be self sufficient and bring as many kids as they could into life because we were spirits waiting for bodies.
Mom never felt accepted at church because she often spoke her mind or didn't dress the part or gush a testimony. Dad was a convert and gave up most all relationships with his family because they weren't interested in hearing about his new church. Mom told him to never talk about his life prior to joining the church because she thought it would give her children excuses to do "bad things"
Our family was dysfunctional and we still struggle with speaking truth. Our family had secrets that we couldn't share because fear of rejection from the community.
I married a non-member and saw love between my in-laws my parents never shared. I wasn't married long before I felt a pull to try to get my husband to convert and take me to the temple. The battle raged for 20 years with me having deep bouts of depression because I didn't fit into any local community because we weren't a normal LDS couple and in Utah there weren't many healthy groups to gather in that weren't into drugs or sex.
I did go through the temple and it was the strangest experience of my life-the temple no longer has you symbolically slit your throat, but to swear to keep secrets before knowing what they are is very troubling to the mind. I could tell my husband what went on or I was told that Satan would have power over me and that I was wicked and breaking promises to God if I told him things. It put our marriage in greater harm after I went because he wondered if I was doing baked things with people when at the temple.
I spent several years staying completely away from going inside an LDS church because of mean things said about marriages like mine or because I wanted be to like everyone else and have a temple marriage so because that's what happiness is supposed to be like. My marriage was actually very healthy in many ways because we had to work so hard at communication because of me being told by leaders and church speeches that he wasn't a worthy man, meaning he was wicked. I knew he wasn't because I saw how he was with our children and other people, how intelligent he was at work and how men he worked with that were LDS liked him and said what a good man he was.
Why didnt my husband want to join?
He had money he felt deserved to be spent on his family, our home and vacations together. He didn't believe in a God who watched every second of the daily lives of billions of people. He also really was repulsed by JS having God threaten his wife with destruction when she didn't want to live polygamy.
I grew up next door to a polygamist family and down the road was a temple they held school in. I watched impoverished families everyday. I saw old ladies buying baby formula with food stamps for younger wives. I saw fake businesses rise and fall because of fraud.
My children had long bouts of no kids playing with them because we weren't going to church during many years and then when we would go again everyone suddenly loved our family. And then it was hard rejection once we stopped. My son was told by his closest friend that he would ever speak to him again once we quit for good. My son sobbed to me at age 16 over it.
I have lived the nightmare of trying to be "perfect in all things". I have watched my sister battled depression as well, but never understood how they could be so sad when each of them did marry in the temple and had church going men-it's because the people are taught they they must live perfect to live in heaven and they fear not doing so.
Wives hate husbands if the aren't holding family home evening, blessing their kids enough, reading daily scriptures with family and on their own. Many families can't afford vacations because the extra money goes to tithing and fast offerings -for people who can't feed their own families. Money is stored away and spent on missions, sometimes for other members in the ward (which my parents paid did).
My parents paid for 2 of my brothers to go on missions, but spent 0 dollars on the education of their daughters.
The church fractures communities when they split wards every few years. My aged mother isn't honorably allowed to attend the congregation of her choice because she is assigned a building to attended. She has cried many times because she has lost values friends because she no longer sees them at church and weekly meetings. The last time this happened was age 77 and she has finally decided to break the rules.
This mother of mine could have raised us to speak our truths as women, but she has learned that doing so in Utah can have consequences that are unpleasant in the community. My mother at times seems like she has 2 personalities-one the obedient church woman and the other -a very confident, independent human being who can be fierce in her love of people who are not treated well.
It has been very confusing to see her two sides. I didn't understand it until I began at age 43 to listen to and look into forbidden information about the church. These forbidden fruits are all facts that the current church hides and rewrites to keep its membership.
