The Last Vampire on Earth

I came to The Last Vampire On Earth with some misconceptions: that it was a Christian film (Jehovah's Witness beliefs come into play, though the filmmaker has only the vaguest idea of what they are); that the lead actress was also the lead in C Me Dance (no; CMD's Christina DeMarco is practically a SAG award winner compared to Last Vampire's McKenzie Grimmet, although they both have that doe-eyed, hit with a brick from behind look); and that it would be performed by actors. No one in this film can act. Nor can the editor edit, the sound engineer sync up sound, nor, almost needless to say, the director direct. Even craft services is non-existent or sub-par. At two so-called family meals, KFC is served up by the characters, without comment. Except when the vampire later throws it up, which turns out to be a surprisingly important plot point. Fine for some laughs, if you like this sort of thing, but this film is not even good enough to have on in the background at your Hallowe'en party.

This movie is perfect, it's so bad, so funny. This movie is the Room version of Twilight. Vitaliy Versace has no idea how to make a film and it shows. Awful acting by both actors who's careers are probably ruined, awful camera work, awful lighting, awful everything. 99% of the movie is in-room audio, and some scenes you can't hear what the characters are saying. The fact that the mother comes to the conclusion that her daughters boyfriend is a vampire because he threw up during dinner is baffling. It has not intention of being funny, yet is. Don't let yourself be tricked by the 'Twilight' like cover. This movie is a disaster and should be viewed by everyone as a comedy. Don't buy it, it's on You-tube in it's entirety for free. Highly recommend, much better than 'Suicide Squad'.

I'm all for amateur film making, and I do my best to appreciate the efforts. And my expectations were, I think, realistic. However, this looks too much like the first or second reading of not the final edit of the script while the camera crew has not yet figured where to put the lights and the sound crew is still struggling with microphones.

The basic premise of a moody teenageish drama without attempting gore effects or stunts is not a bad starting point for a movie where the makers are aware of their limitations, but when the filming material cost is about nothing, then just doing the basic checks: does this look ok, and what could I improve, and does this sound ok, and what could I improve, would have been close to a salvation for this. Just taking a bit more time to rehearse, plan, and review, this cast and crew would have had a nice amateur film in their hands.

RELEASED IN 2010 and directed by Vitaliy Versace, "The Last Vampire on Earth" chronicles events in northeast Ohio when a nice religious girl (McKenzie Grimmet) meets a mysterious-but-nice guy (Michael Bole) at college and falls in love. Problems arise when she and her family discover that he's a 2000 year-old vampire (!). Even worse, she's diagnosed with a fatal disease.

This is an extremely low-budget flick with wooden non-acting, stilted dialogue, bad lighting, questionable sound, basic camera angles and so forth. On top of this, the writer confuses traditional protestant doctrine & practices with that of the Jehovah's False Witnesses. For instance, there are references to "going to church" and the "pastor" when, in fact, JWs don't use this terminology. Their meeting facilities are called "Kingdom Halls" (which, to be fair, is referenced once in the movie) and their leaders are referred to as elders. The "Kingdom Hall" building depicted in the movie is a traditional church facility. Obvious flaws like this reflect bad (or non-existent) research.

The second thing you need to understand is that this is not a horror story. It's a youth drama or love story involving a winsome girl and a good vampire. If you can overlook the low-level of production and adapt to the movie's limitations, the story's generally engaging with a couple of boring parts.

The director was born in Russia and raised in Cleveland, Ohio. This was only his second movie, but he kept at his chosen craft and has gone on to bigger and better things in filmmaking. I love to see people make-do with what they got to create and improve as they persevere in faith. Do not despise humble beginnings.

THE FILM RUNS 90 minutes and was shot in Youngstown & Boardman, Ohio. WRITER: Mandie L Abraham wrote the screenplay based on her self-published novel.

GRADE: D

I love this movie, I really do. It's so incredibly badly made - the actors seem to regret even showing up on set throughout the entire movie. The chemistry is nill, zip, zero, nothing! The aids-speech is a scene to die for. The person who seriously wrote the script must have had a brain aneurysm or something, because it's really odd.

The movie has no stakes, and the motivations are very uncalled for. The knock-off Edward Cullen lead (who gets his blood from a blood bank!) has no charisma. He seems to be almost relieved when he's bound, and is to be burned at the stake by a group of Christians.

I'd recommend this to everyone. It really takes you for a ride, can it really be that bad? - Yes, yes it can!