Demonic Christmas Tree

Plot

On Christmas Eve, a widow casts a spell to resurrect her executed husband. However, when the spell goes wrong, the husband is brought back as an Evil Christmas Tree and is hell-bent on getting revenge on the one who caused his execution.

Cast

The usual suspects that you expect to see in Uncorked and ITN movies, truly dreadful for the most part who have absolutely no place in the industry especially Marcus Massey who puts in a career worst here.

Verdict

I went in assuming a novelty comedy horror, I knew it was almost certainly going to be bad especially considering the creators and cast but expected at least that novelty value which could make up for it.

I didn't expect it to be this bad, it truly is abysmal. You see the novelty element is worn thin by just how bad it is, the horror is barely present and the comedy? I think they forgot to implement that. I mean how exactly do you make a movie about a killer Christmas tree and leave out the comedy? It's actually played serious and that couldn't possibly work!

Sometimes the tree is practical, sometimes it's CGI, sometimes it's 5ft sometimes it's 50ft, the acting from our villains is comically terrible, the dialogue from the tree is some of the worst I've ever heard. It's not that it's bad, it's just repetitive and generic to a level I never thought was possible. You have to hear it to believe it.

So there it is, it's not funny, it's not worth it for the novelty value, it's not film so bad it's worth a giggle, it's just bad.

Rants

Marcus Massey please retire Marcus Massey please retire Marcus Massey please retire Marcus Massey please retire Marcus Massey please retire That's my rant, seriously he's so bad.

Breakdown

Strange concept at least Not funny Not scary Awful cast Marcus Massey Terrible CGI Dreadful dialogue.

Right, well I have to be bluntly honest and say that I harbored zero expectations to this 2022 horror comedy titled "Demonic Christmas Tree". I stumbled upon it by random chance, and seeing it was a horror comedy with a Chrismas theme, of course I opted to watch it. And the fact that I hadn't already seen it, nor even heard about it, also helped to win me over.

Well, writer Craig McLearie didn't manage to churn out a script for a horror comedy that fell much into my liking. Sure, the script and idea was original, but it didn't make for a very enjoyable movie. There was very little to laugh about throughout the course of the movie, and in terms of being a horror movie, then it was somewhat generic.

The acting performences in "Demonic Christmas Tree" were pretty much in tune with the killer of the movie; wooden. Yeah, you're not in for a grand cinematic experience with the cast ensemble in the movie. But to be truthful, they had very little to work with in terms of an interesting script, storyline or character gallery.

Sure, the idea here was interesting and seemed like fun. But the transition from script to screen at the hands of director Rhys Frake-Waterfield just didn't really make for an outstanding horror comedy.

While I managed to suffer through the entire movie, this is not a movie that I will ever return to watch a second time, and it certainly is not going to become a recurring Christmas movie event. Nor is it a horror comedy I would recommend to fans of the horror comedy genre.

My rating of "Demonic Christmas Tree" lands on a very generous two out of ten stars.

Listen, you're gonna read the description and groan. You're probably gonna see low "critic" reviews and you're going to write this one off. DO NOT DO THAT. Listen to fans of low budget horror, like myself. This, at the very least, will find itself in your "so bad it's good" column if you let it. The CGI is laughable, and most of the kills are part of that CGI, but that's actually part of the charm here! Watching these cheesy CGI kills made me chuckle, and it's a big part of what kept me entertained until the end.

If you are a fan of movies like Jack Frost, Jack Frost 2, Thankskilling, CarousHELL, and so on, this is right up your alley.

Obviously if you're going to go the route of a slapstick type killer on the loose, you need to know your film is a comedy. This clearly doesn't. Not a single joke in the film. Unless if you count them using the Star of David instead of a pentagon as a joke, but I'm pretty sure that was just a production error. This could've been an instant cult classic like Jack Frost, heck, all they really need to do is re-record the voice over of the tree and make him funny. Like if the tree were to strangle someone with lights have the tree say "lighten up" or if the tree kills a barking dog say "all bark, no bite" or if the tree kills a topless girl with his roots or whatever, have him say "got wood?" It's really not hard to make this concept worth watching. And it wouldn't cost too much to redo the ADR and make some cash.

While clocking in at ten times longer, it is just not nearly as pithy. There are long stretches of buxom hens nattering on about absolutely nothing.

Of course, the movie is corny and it knows it. Doesn't make it good.

Some of the kills were inventive. Like the one on the tennis court was my favorite.

The one lady in the sequins is definitely a budget Kathryn Hahn for sure.

The part in the manor house is something to watch with your eyeballs when observing the screen you are viewing via your vision.

Apparently no animals were harmed in the making of this movie. But there is no mention in the credits of an on-set arborist or watchdog certification by a botanical welfare society. So trees were most likely treated inhumanely.

Probably can say the same for the audience.

It's a dumb bad movie. If that's your thing.