La véritable histoire d'Edward et Bella chapitre 4 - 1/2: Indigestion

I won't go into any details. The movie is called Breaking Wind for a reason. I could have made a better spoof of Twilight with a smart phone. This is the first review I have ever written because I felt compelled to warn people that they may in fact have a stroke during this pile of trash. The spoofs of old, like Airplane and The Naked Gun have given way to the worst of the worst, and this movie is so bad I do not even have a word for it. I assume this movie is like going through drug withdrawals because I was in the floor in brutal pain and agony. I made it to the end without croaking, but it was close. If you plan on watching this, then have an oxygen tank ready along with speed dial to 911 in case of impending death.

Breaking Wind...(sigh) Knowing that this movie is supposedly a spoof of the Twilight Saga, I thought that this COULD have been a decent comedy, like Vampires Suck. Now don't get me wrong, Vampires Suck was a horrible movie, but if you just have fun with it, Vampires Suck will have a few chuckles with you.

But Breaking Wind is just bland and unfunny. I kept saying to myself, "Don't be serious, it's a comedy", but not even Danny Trejo saved this piece of crap.

If you think that I'm being to harsh for a spoof movie, think again. There are literally fart jokes every 5 goddamn minutes. Who the hell in their right mind would think fart jokes are funny? The writers must have been retarded.

But their is a silver lining though. And that's Jacob, or more specifically, Fat Jacob. I don't know why but I just found him funny. It must be because he's fat. Hmmm.

Overall, a very crappy movie. Why the producers would think to finance this movie is beyond me. Didn't they even bother to read the script? And why the hell are the Johnny Depp characters in this? Ran out of ideas, probably.

This has to be the worst movie I've seen in a very very long time. Don't waste your time !!

I cannot believe people would waste money on making such a load of rubbish and passing it off as a comedy.

Where are the days of Parodies like "Hot Shots" etc ? Those were hilarious and actually made fun of movies in a proper fashion.

This movie tries to be funny by being vulgar with farts etc and not even that worked at all.

Nothing and I have to emphasize the word nothing in this movie is funny.

I'd rather sit and watch paint dry than this movie ever again !

It is always nice to have another movie making fun of the "Twilight" saga, although they tend to not be overly great. And "Breaking Wind" is not different from the others.

Sure there is a good amount of moments in the movie that will raise some laughs, however, the movie doesn't really leave a lasting impression in any way. I haven't seen any "Twilight" movies after I was suckered into watching the very first one, so I have no idea how much similarity there was between "Breaking Wind" and the rest of the "Twilight" saga. But still, it managed to make me laugh here and there, and that was what mattered.

The type of comedy in "Breaking Wind" is sort of an acquired taste, I think, because there is a lot of farting and such type of comedy. I enjoy that, but it is not likely to be in the likes of just anyone.

The acting in the movie was alright, though nothing out of the ordinary or nothing spectacular. If I have to chisel out a single performance that overshadowed all others, it would have to be Frank Pacheco (playing Jacob), as he was the most funny and did most of the weight-pulling in the movie.

For a spoof, then "Breaking Wind" is in the lower end of the scale, and there are far better spoof movies out there, if you like this particular genre of movies.

I will admit up front that I did not finish "Breaking Wind", although I tried. The reason is that the film was probably the filthiest and unfunniest film I've ever seen...and it's the sort of stuff 6 and 7 year-olds would find funny but a sane parent isn't going to let kids this age watch the movie. This is because the jokes are NEVER funny and all I saw were jokes about a wide variety of sex acts, farting, people being bitten on the buttocks--and the barrage of this sort of stuff was CONSTANT. It wasn't funny the first time and it wasn't funny when they were repeated ad nauseum. And this is the basis for every supposed joke!! Now don't get the idea I am a complete prude--a movie can be a bit racy yet funny ("Step Brothers" comes to mind--it's crude but also funny). But this wasn't the least bit funny or clever and the shock value disappears immediately because EVERY joke was about the same small repertoire of material. It's really hard to imagine anyone getting paid to write this and I am pretty sure everyone in the film must have felt embarrassed because it was so incredibly unfunny and stupid. Overall, an assault on your intelligence and a film every bit as unfunny as cancer.

I usually don't say things like this, but Craig Moss...NEVER write another film. Please!