Dept. of F'd Up Family Services

Courtney: Why can't you come clean with me?

Marshall Gregson: Just because I don't share every single thought in my head about you does not mean that I'm a liar! You want to know the truth? Here it is. This was never a real relationship! You are so fucked up in your head that you just don't get it! You're so afraid of finding out who you really are. You'd rather be married to someone you KNOW is gay than risk being rejected by someone who could actually love you!

Tara Gregson: [as Alice] Young man, that's no way to speak to a lady.

Marshall Gregson: How could I love you, Courtney? I'm embarrassed for you! But I didn't say anything, because I didn't want to hurt your feelings. Because I am a decent human being. Because I've learned in my life that as much as I want to tell my sister that she's not as clever or special as she thinks she is or tell my aunt that she's a pathological narcissist or tell my dad to wake up because my mother's D.I.D. disease is just going to bury us all. It's better to keep my goddamn mouth shut!

[Tara suddenly drops the tray of tea and begins shrieking as Gimmy emerges and begins breaking things around the living room]

Max Gregson: Oh nice going, Marshall! I hope you like your new foster family!