Sharktopus

Well, I knew it was going to be bad just because of the name. But I've been pleasantly surprised before and, as I've said in previous reviews, I also have a tendency to enjoy lame sci-fi/horror movies, so I gave it a shot. And boy do I wish I hadn't.

This film walks the very fine line between laughably bad and just plain bad. There were a couple of enjoyable moments. Not nearly enough to make up for the rest of the movie, unfortunately. I suppose it could be really fun if you watch it with a few friends, the sound muted, and make up your own dialog.

The writers clearly put some effort into it. Just... not enough. The dialog and characters weren't too bad. If only casting had chosen people who can actually act.

Clearly, the standards for acting have gone way down in recent years. Expecting Oscar-worthy performances on a straight to TV movie is unreasonable, but I do expect at least *some* talent. I don't think I heard one single convincing scream during the entire movie. There was a lot of physical acting (mostly running) required, so the screams should have been a breeze. Apparently not for this cast. I'm thinking the majority of them were chosen more on the basis of looking good in bathing suits than anything else. At least, the male lead was. Washboard abs aside, I wasn't the least bit impressed. The female lead was just as unconvincing.

While watching this, my mom made a comment about whether or not Eric Roberts uses his sister's name to get parts. I find that highly unlikely, particularly in this case. If he was, he'd certainly have used it to get a much better gig than this one. Maybe that's why he put forth so very little effort for the role. He does, however, pull off the required creepy, cold-hearted and extremely unlikeable aspects of the character. Sadly, his was the best performance.

The creature... Well, the name itself is a big enough warning. I am willing to overlook the fact that it's so unrealistic looking because of the obvious absurdity of combining a great white shark and an octopus into one animal and the clearly low budget. I suppose it could have looked cool if they'd had the money for better special effects. I'm also willing to overlook the fact that the tentacles look more like those of a squid than an octopus to me. (A very disturbing bit of proof that I need to lay off the nature documentaries, let me tell, ya'.) However, I do take some issue with the ends of the tentacles being sharp enough to pierce flesh like a spear. Seriously? The twenty-foot reach, suckers and enough strength to crush people into jelly wasn't enough? This little extra was probably put in just to add more blood and gore.

By the way, someone needs to sit the director down and explain to him that this is not a 3-d film and having fake blood splatter the camera lens is not cool. It doesn't make it look or feel more realistic and certainly does not add to the experience. It added to my eye-rolling, but that's about it. He also needs to tell his actors when they're doing a crap job. But he did get some really nice scenery and aerial shots in, so he didn't do a *completely* terrible job.

Basically, you may get a few laughs. That's about the only redeeming aspect of the movie. Everything else is just eye-candy and drivel. In my opinion, not even worth one watch. But I have seen a lot worse. If you want to watch it, have very low expectations and you won't be disappointed.

Nathan Sands (Eric Roberts) and his daughter Nicole (Sara Malakul Lane) are scientists who created a shark/octopus hybrid. It manages to escape their control. They follow it to Mexico where they hire local guide Andy Flynn (Kerem Bürsin).

This is dumb, but that's to be expected. The CGI is bad, but it could be worst. The sharktopus design has problems, but I get the concept. The acting is bad, but they do have Eric Roberts. This is bad camp, but it is not worst of the worst. It does have girls in bikinis, but I wouldn't call it sexploitation. Its greatest sin is that it's boring. I wouldn't recommend it.

I have seen better acting in a high school play rehearsal. Cheesy actors (no-names with nothing to their credit, for the most part), cheesy "special effects," (if you can even call them that), cheesy story (some sort of history of the creature that is only vaguely explained), horrible attempts at humor (especially when people get attacked by the creature), cheesy creature (half octopus and half shark -- really?), and cheesy creature "action." You can actually tell without any stretch of the imagination that it's similar to claymation in front of a green screen -- and not very good animation, either. I mean, really? Was this a 6th grade video project? Eric Roberts must be just one step above destitute to have signed to to this horrible production. We should all send him $5 so he doesn't have to do another one like that. Horrible. Just horrible.

I love campy sci-fi. I expected with Eric Roberts in it for the movie to be -- well, watchable if not even enjoyable. Sadly, it was not enjoyable. Nor was it funny. It wasn't campy. And it certainly wasn't fun to watch or even amusing. It was pitiful. The scenery is the only decent thing in it.

The dialog is bad. The CGI is bad. The effects are bad. The acting when being attacked was a single action only -- scream and fail your arms around. It is possible that the idea was to make a sci-fi movie that was making fun of other such movies involving creatures of the deep. If so, they failed to do so.

Don't waste your time with this one. Try an old timer like Tremors.

This is not a horror or an action sci-fi movie. It is a comedy, but not your normal kind of comedy that you are used to seeing. There are no crazy characters or silly jokes. The real joke is in the acting, the directing, production design etc. Sharktopus was made to be terrible so the audience will laugh at how bad it is.

I don't understand why people take this movie seriously. With a title like sharktopus how could you? The plot is that a team of father and daughter marine biologists create a half shark, half octopus to use as a weapon for the navy. Then the remote control mechanism is knocked off and the Sharktopus goes on a killing rampage. Captian Jack (the creator of sharktopus) highers Andy Flynn, a Iraq war veteran, to capture the monster. But when Andy nearly gets killed and looses two of his friends he vows revenge.

There you have it. This is not suppose to be the next Jaws or even Deep Blue Sea. This is more along the lines of Maga Shark vs. Gaint Octopus. The director told the actors to be wooden and show very little emotion. The actors wheren't trying to win a Oscar, they wanted a Razzie. I just wish that actors would react to seeing the killings. When ever someone is eaten or torn apart in the movie who ever was witnessing it didn't react. They just stand there with a stupid look on their face. At least scream or try to help the victim. The production is minimal. The props appear to be objects the actors brought from home. The special effect are also bad with Sharktopus constantly changing size. In one scene he's big enough to eat VW Bug, in a later scene he is as big as a human. There are also scenes where the monster is walking out on land. Now I am not a marine biologist, but I am pretty sure that sharks or octopuses can't survive outside of water. Another thing that bothered me was that one of the characters who was named Nicole had some moral hang ups about her father altering the mind of Sharktopus. It is a genetically engineered monster, what does it matter if it mind is tampered with? If you watch this with a critic's state of mind you will hate this movie. In order to enjoy it loosen up and get a sense of humor.

Compared to Scy-Fy Channel's other original movies this is the best. Instead of being serious and trying scare the audience. Sharktopus is made to make you laugh. I rated this on level of how entertained I was while watching and gave it a 7 out of 10. Now if I where to rate it based on acting, directing, camera work, etc. Then I would give it a 2 out of 10.