Ambulance 37

It's all bait n' switch with some movie companies. You can hire a couple of 'name' stars and a competent film crew and churn out some garbage that desperate fans will show up for... and walk away cheated. But hey, you got some cash out of them and word won't spread fast enough to keep you from making back your investment plus a bit to see the next bit of cinematic snake oil.

Really, I thought the basic idea could have worked... and the actors were decent... and with modern technology and film schools churning out tech-competent students desperate to pay off their loans it's hard to make a bad looking movie... but geeez! Who wrote this crap?!!! It's dumb and dumbest right from the start. Does Moseley even read the scripts for the movies before he signs up?

Truly a waste of time, talent and energy.

First, I'd like to say that I'm grading this movie on a curve. It's not that great, and parts are downright amateurish (whoever was in charge of continuity should be smacked in the back of the head), but it's not all that bad and, for what it is, micro budget splatter horror, it's kind of entertaining.

I was really looking forward to this movie because of horror legends Bill Moseley (Otis Driftwood, Chop-Top) and Kane Hodder (Jason Voorhees, Victor Crowley), in the lead, because it had actual merchandise so I thought it might not be totally disposable, and because the idea is actually kind of cool. Two serial killers ride around in an ambulance preying on the injured, posing as paramedics. Not bad, huh?

Well, that's not really what it's about. It's about two sadistic rednecks, one a motor mouth sleaze ball (Moseley), the other a towering mute in a mask (Hodder), stalking a group of obnoxious rich kids that ran over their mother while drag racing. They vow revenge, and damn well get it in rather gory fashion.

The cast isn't embarrassingly bad, but not great either. There's too much teen melodrama and the first half really drags because of it. The second half, when Moseley and Hodder become more prevalent, is better.

The gore effects aren't bad, Moseley and Hodder are good playing exactly the kind of roles they usually play, Miley Cyrus's sister has a tiny part, there's too much music crammed into the movie from unknown indie bands, one girl briefly shows her butt, and continuity is terrible. Day and night seem like one big blur sometimes.

That's about all I have on this one. Check it out, or don't. Your call.

I did not like this movie. It was dull and poorly acted. The characters were shallow and made terrible, stupid decisions that no one would make. Even the character transformation in the finale doesn't make any sense and just comes off as a plot device. The writers had a good idea about having killer paramedics, but this is not the movie that exploited that idea.

Pass on this one.

Ambulence 37, death call or old 37 was not an awful film i will say. At the beginning we are thrust into these brothers world and the grusomness they can get up to. But then I feel like we have about half hour of getting away from the plot. Theres a house party at a woman called brooks house, a woman called angel taking a joy ride with others that results in danger and our main final girl Amy, who wants breast implants because of her kickboxing dancing which really gets away from this whole thing and its not really a long film. Anyway we do get into the real stuff and its decent for what it was. Acting was a little rough at times and i do feel morsely and hoder deserved better but for what it was an enjoyable horror.

I figure a film with Kane Hodder and Bill Mosely as killer paramedics should be better. Its still watchable though. A quarter of the film plays like a Lifetime teen drama.