LOL USA

I am embarrassed to be of the same species as the people who produced this film. They must have been smoking crack cocaine up their anus. Like I've seen bad films. I've seen horrible films. I've seen films that make me want to throw up and then eat my puke. But this is beyond that. I'd rather shove King Kong up my butt while shoving my balls in a crocodile's mouth than watch this again. It will forever wonder me what the screenwriter was thinking when he made this film. I personally am a professional writer, and I struggle to think of who is capable of creating this crime against humanity. If I ever build a time machine and kill one person in history, it would be the director of this steaming pile of goat droppings.

A monotonous, dreadful film that follows the gimmicks of social networking and text messaging. I wouldn't classify this as a movie; it falls along the lines of high school trauma and the depressing pokes of a Facebook page. The acting was sub-par and the love story was the equivalent of rusty nails while it focuses on the redundant internet slang we constantly see today. The whole feeling of the film was basically like looking at a Facebook page. Very dull and asinine with the sense of delusional romance forever reminding us how little hope remains for todays youth. If this is what you call quality entertainment then I fear for the sanctity of our Media. Major waste of filming resources and should be shot into the sun for the sake of humanity.

I'm going to summarize here:

This "film" bears about as much connection with modern society as KFC represents the life of Chickens. Not only is it the most cheese filled pap ever, it's a walking cliché and the people in it, even say the word "LOL" rather than actually laughing, in one scene; one person even rolls around the floor laughing when she is told a joke by her friend, and it wasn't even funny.

The entire dialogue in this film looks as if it has actually been written on a Nokia 3310 by a 10 year old boy, who has ADHD, no offence to people who actually HAVE ADHD, but seriously, it's like they've given a child three things:

1. MDMA.

2. 90 Blank Sheets of Paper and a typewriter.

3. 2 Days to complete it.

The acting is below par and even in one scene, it is blatantly obvious that the actress has forgotten her lines, so she seems to make her line up on the spot. How on earth did Demi Moore get roped into this? Demi Moore has made some god awful movies in her time, but this will be a black hole on her CV for many years to come and I imagine she is only kicking herself to the loony bin for partaking in this absolute rubbish.

Then I have to mention the obvious fake posts on here which are condoning and praising this teeny bopper movie, which is obviously made to capitalise on fans of the girl out of this, kids who are grounded and have to use their phones as a social outlet, LOL, and teen kids who have nothing better to do with their money than go and see how the media thinks they should live their lives.

Anyone paying to watch this god awful trash should take themselves and get counselling, go and see a doctor, because whilst there are thousands and thousands of good script writers trying to earn a living, thousands of actors trying to break through; and thousands of budding directors just aching for a chance to even get 1% of this budget for their work; production companies are still lying and pulling the wool over our eyes with pap like this.

If you are fan of the girl in this film, think about it, and think about it hard!!!

If you actually like this girl, then you will NOT go and put money into the pockets of the greed ridden pigs who are actually trying to exploit YOU as well as your idol. So I'm not going to give you grief for liking this girl; like most will, but seriously think about it before you part with your money. If this film does even remotely well, the fat corporate pigs will only release more pap with her in, to try and prize YOUR hard earned money from your hands, and in turn, the big wheel of fortune will grind away on YOU and ONLY YOU!

It says something when a production company pull out of post production marketing like they did on this kids, they want to BURY it without trace, because they know how terrible this film truly is!

Fair enough, watch it on cable (it will be on there soon enough), download it from some kind of torrent site, but whatever you do, do NOT go and spend a penny of your money on this, you will regret it for years to come.

Long live the free thinkers.

I watched this out of morbid curiosity, I wanted to see what a movie with so many one stars was like. Unless you want to watch it for the same reason, please don't do it. It's a completely forgettable film that provokes no emotion whatsoever and you could stop watching it at any time without feeling that you're missing anything.

Pointless scenes with lifeless acting that lead to nowhere, the most ridiculously unrealistic representation of high school and youth, characters so physically identical that are practicably indistinguishable from each other, morally questionable actions by everyone.. it's amazing how many bad things can be said about such an empty film! Even the filming style is annoying. For some reason, at times the framing switches from normal teen comedy to European indie deep depressing film, with long and extreme closeups of ugly people's faces. Also the aspect ratio is extremely narrow and throughout the film there's some sms chatting printed on the extreme left of the screen, which gets cropped out if you enlarge the image to make it not look like a sausage of image inside your TV.

Don't believe other reviews that say that the bad ratings are because it's a chick flick and people "don't get it": the one stars are the movie's fault, not the genre's. I love cheese chick flicks and I rate movies according to each genre's standards, I won't give a rom-com a low rating for being silly or predictable, so believe me that there's no anti teen flick bias in this review.

Watch at your own risk.

LOL (2012)

* (out of 4)

Lisa Azuelos remakes her own French movie. This one here has Miley Cyrus playing a teen who seems obsessed with sex, drugs and music, which is something her single mom (Demi Moore) doesn't know about. I'm guessing that's the so-called plot to this film but the truth is that plot and this movie really don't go together. I can't comment on the original film since I haven't seen it yet but this thing here pretty bad but thankfully it's so bad that most people should be able to get a couple good laughs out of it. I think what really kills the movie is the fact that every character from the teens to their parents are just downright idiots. I mean, the Moore character is without question one of the dumbest mothers I've ever seen from any movie. Just watch the way the character pretty much can't put her foot down on anything and the scene where Cyrus talks her out of taking her phone away is just embarrassing. Even worse is a sequence later on when mommy and daughter have it out after mom reads her diary and notices all the things she's been up to. Not only the entire sequence unintentionally funny, the performances by the two actresses is just embarrassing. Cyrus really comes off bad here because she can't handle what limited range the character has. The scenes with her crying are just poorly done and I can't say I believed anything she did here. Moore isn't quite as bad but she's burdened by the horrid character. Even Gina Gershon, Ashley Greene and Thomas Jane can't do anything. Everything from the dialogue to the actual story is just really bad and there's really nothing good to mention here outside the use of a certain Rolling Stones song. What keeps LOL watchable is how bad it manages to be and I'm going to guess that the only people this thing will appeal to are those who enjoy movies that are so bad they're watchable.