Wrong Place

Saw Bruce Willis as the starring role and just knew I would like it. He must owe someone a lot of money. Absolutely his worst film. Very poorly written. Terrible acting. Not even a good story. Anyone who paid money to see this should start a gofundme to get reimbursed not only for the money they spent, but for damages as well. I am writing this as I am watching the movie and it keeps getting worse. I am having trouble coming up with at least the six hundred characters needed to complete this gawd awful review so please bear with these last sentences. It is a 90 minute movie that only needed 20 minutes.

Who writes garbage like this? Horrible writing, horrible acting... Don't waste your time on crap like this. IF YOU CAN'T MAKE MOVIES BETTER THAN THIS...DON'T MAKE MOVIES!

96 minute film, 70 minutes too long

Every single scene is stretched out beyond imagination, packed with needless and unrealistic dialogue. There's a scene where a man tells another to deliver these letters, a normal person would reply "okay" or "sure" etc... but the guy ended up waffling on and on for ages about how he will deliver the letters.

Bruce Willis does not act. He just repeats his spoon fed lines with little to no emotion.

Jake, the antagonist, is the biggest imbecile villain ever, constantly making mistake after mistake, doing the dumbest things. And his motive is rubbish anyway. Goes on this failed murdering spree just because someone shot his meth dealing, murdering father in the knee.

Captain East is the most incompetent cop, fails to do the simplest tasks properly and literally is narrating himself the entire time. One scene he is narrating his walking "left foot, right foot" etc.

Chloe (Ashley Greene) was the best actor of a crap bunch.

The music was obnoxiously loud, drowning out dialogue half the time, and the music choice was terrible, it's like they asked a 3 year old to click randomly on Spotify.

Then there's another villain called Virgil, who I couldn't for the life of me understand half of what he was saying. He sounded like an Italian trying to do a Southern USA accent, and ended up sounding like a croaking frog.

Christ, what a chappy film, given as a 10-15 minute short film, probably would've been decent, but too long too rubbish.

We all kept saying: Please be over, please be over.

Nope, more torture.

And you can't even blame this one on Willis, because he was way better than the terrible directing - once again from Mike Burns, who also gave us the another flop Out of Death. Burns, who's filmmaking experience is thirty-two Music Supervisor credits, couldn't even get the score right. It was annoyingly loud, overbearing, constant and unfitting. But even worse, was the writing by Bill Lawrence, who oh shocker here, also wrote Out of Death with Burns. Boys, please take up a new hobby and leave the camera and keyboard alone.

The directing was worse than a fifth-grade drama class production. I've seen better scene changes and fade-outs by 1990's wedding videographers. The long, dragged out and unnecessary scenes were relentless. His failure to direct his cast, scenes, camera shots, etc were the biggest failures I've seen since... well, Out of Death.

But the writing was the biggest joke. It was the never ending cat and mouse game - on repeat, with ridiculous dialogue and more holes in the plot than a wheel of Swiss cheese. How do these two look at their final cut and say "yes, this is perfect, let's go to market"? I actually feel bad for Willis having this nonsense on his resume as one of his final films. Thus my very generous 3/10, all points going to Willis giving it his best shot with the garbage he had to work with.

This movie actually made me sad for Bruce Willis. He is ruining his acting legacy with movies like this. But in the end I did give it a generous 3 stars mainly because it is so bad it makes for a fun watch but only because my husband and I could not stop laughing at the absurdity of the dialogue, the plot (holes) and the fact that despite various stabbings, multiple gunshot wounds, being burnt, buried and nearly decapitated, these characters refuse to die. They all just keep getting up from their various injuries and staggering forward like zombies.

The plot holes are so huge you just have to (again) laugh at the absurdity of them. The acting is so sub-par and the writing so amateurish this movie is sure to get a Razzie award.

So go ahead and give it a watch if you are amused by movies that are so bad they are fun to watch just to pick them apart. But know that at the same time your heart will hurt a little bit for Bruce and his choice to be a part of this.