Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle

All the same talking points. All the same overly long shots. All the same poor pacing. All the same wooden characters. All the same stilted dialogue. All the same unnecessary driving and walking. All the same million-dollar deals. All the same creepy guys staring at woman strangers who then fall madly in love with that guy - for no real reason. Nothing new to see here by the filmmaker who comes off as nothing more than an activist.

Global Warming. Climate change. Over and over and over again. Well the writer/director has no issues with pushing carbon emission into the air from his cars in his movies with his VERY LONG driving sequences, all the while harping the evils of just that.

"Birdemic 3 came out today, and Nguyen is already planning a fourth. But all I can think about is Evan Husney's sad portrait of a man who desperately wants to be a respected filmmaker but is so unable to let go of the movie that made him a cult hit that he sabotages himself."

This is what Ed Glaser wrote on Twitter alongside a clip of James Nguyen in a documentary from Vice, displaying his apparent inability to move on from the Birdemic phenomenon -- while leaving us confused whether he understands how deeply hilarious his movie about the attack of the killer bird GIFs truly is, or at least why this is so.

After all, the previous movie was trying to be funny on purpose. Alas, it is typical for a "so bad that it's good" filmmaker to lack the self-awareness to understand why people were laughing in the first place (just look at what happens when Tommy Wiseau, director of the legendarily inept The Room, tries to make us laugh INTENTIONALLY with The Neighbors) and sure enough, Birdemic 2 was just plain unwatchable.

Now, for some reason, Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle IS actually kinda funny.

Nguyen leans into what made the original movie so transfixingly terrible (the constantly shifting audio quality, white balance, and saturation seem all the more jarring with the improved picture quality) but isn't trying to be cheeky about it. The impression I got was that of a filmmaker who, deep down, does think this all looks really cool and that these sub-PSA "insights" about global warming and environmentalism are genuinely profound (one is reminded of bad movie legend Neil Breen, who still plays everything straight, possibly because he knows how hilarious that makes him).

But then, the movie does come with the additional (depressing) undertone generated by what we know from the aforementioned documentary: this is all Nguyen has in him. I was pondering this as I watched, but promptly forgot about all that when I heard a track by Melodysheep (composed for his sublime YouTube doc about life in the cosmos and its inevitable fate) among the stock music.

He's got taste, that James Nguyen.

Surprised to see that there was a third instalment of the Birdemic franchise and wonder as to why it took so long to come out (the second film released in 2013). Nearly a decade later, and somehow this film managed to be worse than both previous films. It is as if director James Nguyen has not learned anything and that he doesn't have a good support team around him giving him advice and feedback.

Given its rating and majority negative reviews, am not surprised this film was terrible. Opposed to the first two films, those had somewhat a sense of campy awareness and had some cheesy fun.

This third film is simply just boring and drags on. The two leads here are terrible (lead actor isn't convincing and sounds unnatural while lead female seems like she doesn't want to be there- no chemistry).

As others have pointed out. The birds (animated cgi birds) don't appear until nearly an hour in the film. Also what bothers is the main characters were openly seeking to kill the birds (we see then wander in the forest and beach with guns looking to kill them- why did they just not leave the birds alone? The birds were not bothering them at that point. We also see random people on their street near their houses try attacking the birds. For them as well. Why did they not just leave the birds alone, go back in their house or go travel elsewhere in their cars?

Also like the previous films, there's a brief karaoke dance scene. The song here is worse and not as catchy and the leads dancing was cringe. Overall Birdemic 3 managed to be the worse of the series and is one of the worst films in history. We wonder, Is this it or will there be a fourth film on the future.

I know film's sequels don't usually follow the success, but when the first movie was so bad I expected better. This isn't really a movie, it's more of a global warning propaganda video. So much emphasis on global warming and the destruction of the earth, it's actually quite depressing. Forget the wooden acting and the bad writing, and the fact that sometimes the scenes are interspliced so badly that sometimes the volumes change and the lighting, so you can tell they've just stitched 2 scenes together. I should have know what to expect, but even after seeing 2 other films of this quality, I really didn't expect it to be this bad. It's far worse than the other 2 put together. Personally I got to the end and was actually looking forward to the end of the world, just so I don't feel compelled to watch any more birdemic movies!!

I'm so ooking forward to seeing this, after coming upon its two predecessors recently.

Thanks to Amazon Prime, we'll give it a look this evening: --well, it felt like home: Birdemic's trademark opening tracking shots follow the main character sl-o-o-owly thru the credits; he spots the requisite comely blonde, and introduces himself (they're both as nerdy as their predecessors) and we're off!.......only this time the emphasis is directed toward environmental danger right away. There's no putzing around with trying to make a movie-within-a-movie; rather our hero seeks financing for a rejuvenating product.

In between, the environmental-crisis message keeps reappearing to remind us of the point of the film.

That message is fine and all, but there's absolutely no way philanthropic millionaires would appear on every corner, ready to give our hero oodles of money. Nor would young people ever, in any universe, spout dialogue like this.

But it's fun to see just how wooden the acting can be (with the lines they're given to say, I'm guessing the cast is trying to pretend they're anywhere else but in this movie) and it's a guessing game as to just how much walking around the main characters can do.

To break it up a little, an agonizingly long dance scene is included, a la 'Birdemic 2', along with the obligatory motel room hanky-panky.

Also like its predecessors, the bodies pile up all across town, in part because none of the people ever think to go indoors. But fortunately the main characters continue to be armed with an array of assault weapons and endless ammo.

In sum: in between the characters' endless walking around--encountering environmentalists everywhere they go, natch, and somehow neglecting to contact someone like the police or National Guard--the location photography is quite pretty, and you can enjoy that as you wait for the CGI fowl to finally make their appearance. Hopefully, they'll attack the offices of whoever wrote the script.