Wake the Witch

By far the worst movie that I have encountered in my life, wake the witch lacked even the humorous awfulness that Assualt of the Sasquatch possessed. The fact that this was shot in Lincoln is not only embarrassing to the university, but to me personally. This movie had absolutely no plot and 95% of the scenes could have been cut. You are in no way informed of what the movie is even about of where it is heading until the last minute, and even then it is confusing and not really explained. Luckily for the viewer, this movie is 114 minutes long, yep, thats right, close to two hours of absolutely worthless cinema. The scenes that they set up to be scary with the music, lighting, and camera angles, are all cut short before anything even happens. Its like the first few scenes of a paranormal activity movie, without the suspense. The acting is terrible and the cast is not what I would call ....competent The special effects were non existent, and the zombies, for 200 years old, sure were well dressed in their Aeropostal hooded sweatshirts. Its good to see that all of the money for costume and design went to the purchase of fake spider webs at hobby lobby. Which despite popular belief, do not really make movies scarier, just trashier. Overall, this is by far the worst movie I have ever seen. Save yourself 2 hours of distress and watch Frozen instead, at least that has wolf attacks.

I gave it 2 stars 'cause one has to recognize that someone, somewhere, put a fair amount of work into this turd, but I'm sorry to say their work was in vain. The acting was really bad, with odd pauses and at best, mediocre writing. Throughout most of the film it feels like it was put together with a meat cleaver, so kudos to the editor.

Now, it does have it's interesting moments, like the way the ghosts or whatever they are move through the forest--the four legged running like primates was cool. Other than that, it's hard to find something that's worth mentioning.

save your time and money. Even if it's free, toss it. I paid 10 pesos for it and it was too much money.

Production quality aside, which was very basic but not awful, definitely not good, the story is very scattered and nonsensical. The first 45 minutes of the film are completely boring and appear to just be filler to make this a feature length film. Oddly, the film attempts to set up a mythology of the witch at the beginning but it quickly loses that thread and once something does actually happen, it is completely unrelated to the original premise. This is not the worst movie I've ever seen, not by far. But it is pointless and there is no reason to watch it. It isn't even bad enough to where you can watch it and make fun of it or enjoy the camp on an ironic level which would at least be entertaining. This film provides no entertainment value on any level. Do not waste your time.

It's hard to write about this film without sounding like you're picking on the filmmakers. Obviously they were working with a shoestring budget and non-professional crew/actors, and you have to admire the ambition and hard work necessary to undertake the often herculean task of finishing a feature film under those conditions. Even taking those limitations into consideration however, this isn't really much of a movie. The script is rather aimless and contains vast amounts of padding. It seems the filmmakers were more concerned with simply producing a movie than they were with telling any particular story. This is reflected in the technical craftsmanship of the film as well. Scene after scene rolls by without any hint of style or artistic conviction. It doesn't seem like a passion project, but rather a generic product designed to take advantage of the notoriously low standards of the direct-to-video horror niche. Watch something else.

In short this is one of the worst indie films I have ever seen if not THE worst. The above review was actually written by one of the films crew members. So, with that said, the fact they had to trump up a "glowing" review will tell you how sad this "horror" film really is. Slow, boring, and filled with painfully bad actors, confusing shots, and a wretched score. This "movie" is more like a visit to the dentist for a root canal than a clever stylized horror film. Gaudy, stupid, and just plain irritating. Don't waste your time. Get the perfect popcorn, turn out the lights, but watch something else. Figure skating will have you more on your seat than this piece of crap.