Deadly Weekend

This was actually shown in local cinemas with the very unconventional title of "Shocking Zellwood." Thinking it was probably a quirky horror film, I gave it a go. Big mistake.

At the very start, we see a dreamlike sex fantasy gone terribly awry, where an aroused fellow gets more than what he bargained for from the two buxom playmates who tied him to the bedposts. That unbearably squeamish first scene which surely got every guy in the theater looking away and holding on to their family jewels was arguably already the best scene. The film goes downhill from there.

Two young couples take off to an isolated countryside destination for a fun weekend of camping. What they thought to be a quiet and private holiday turns out to be a violent and bloody gore-fest beyond anybody's wildest nightmares.

The entire first half of the film was a lot of stupid sweet nothings from the two couples. That was a boring waste of time, except maybe for the visual presence of the sexy lead actresses, Sarah Jean Underwood and Patricia Rosales. But when the bizarre torture and killing scenes start, the stabbings, nailing, and cutting result in unnaturally gushing bloodbaths. People expecting some more eroticism as shown in the first scene will be disappointed.

I like horror films, but definitely NOT the gore sub-genre. The lousy hammy acting of everyone on screen made every thing worse than it was on paper. The revelation of who does the killings is not exactly brilliant, but at least the writer had a sense of crazy humor about it. Strictly only for gore fanatics.

Sometimes you just got to stop and actually pay heed to the reviews that you stumble upon here and there, and also to the low rating that a movie scores. But as taste and preference is a matter of personal opinion, you just got to take a chance every now and again.

"Deadly Weekend" was not worth the chance at all. This is really an unfathomably slow and dimwitted movie that requires absolutely nothing from the audience. Just unhook all mental capacity, then you are ready for this movie.

Oh, and you might want to brace yourself for about an hour and a half of absolutely nothing worthwhile. The storyline was forced and wooden, leaving no room for any surprises, twists or even unforeseen turn of events.

The acting in the movie, well, I have seen worse, but there is a mighty gap from what was portrayed in this movie up to something that was passable as mediocre.

As for the effects, well, then they worked out well enough, and those were basically everything that had any leverage in this movie. And there was a fair amount of blood and mayhem in the movie to peak some gorehound's interest. But it was hardly sufficient to carry the rest of the movie.

It was as if this movie was a remnant from a mid 1980's horror movie, where they piled together unused footage and ideas.

For a thriller / horror movie, then "Deadly Weekend" was a rather boring and uneventful addition to the history of cinema.

Anyone who has a passing interest in horror B-movies will watched at least one (or two hundred) films where the basis premise is... bunch of teens find themselves off the beaten path and get stalked by... and it's at this point you can insert your chosen monster and/or serial killer into the proceedings. So, as per that logic, two couples here decide to go on a weekend away in the American countryside.

They're your typical horror stars, i.e. Young, good looking and always run back into the house whenever they're supposed to be running away from it.

And they bicker. Okay, they're technically friends and the script keeps telling us how much they like each other and how long they've been friends, but they seem to get at each other more than any group of mates I've hung around with. The leading man is especially paranoid about his girlfriend seeing other guys - hardly a sympathetic trait for a primary antagonist.

And they bicker. I only mention this again because the film is about ninety minutes and I was still at the halfway mark where absolutely nothing that could define this as a 'horror' film had actually happened yet. It was all coming across as a romantic drama. In fact, I even tried a little experiment as I lay on my sofa and closed my eyes (as it was Boxing Day and I was a bit tired!). I just listened to them talk for a while and never really missed anything relevant because of it.

It's only in the last (just under) half where the 'threat' comes into play. I won't spoil who or what it is, but either way the blood and guts eventually start to flow. There's not that much in the way of gore to write home about and, when the cast members start - shall we say 'decreasing' in number - they start doing that thing where they make every dumb horror movie decision you've even rolled your eyes at.

I guess if I had to go for a negative then I'd say that the leading lady is quite attractive, but that's about it - and it's probably only really a draw for the male audience. If you really want to watch this 'horror' film just start it at about 45 minutes in, otherwise I'm sure you'll find better.

Deadly Weekend spends the first 40 or so minutes in the company of two couples camping in the wilderness. The guys play football and the girls lounge around in teeny tiny shorts and cropped vests that barely contain their ample chests. The script has the friends falling out over past sexual encounters, none of which has any real bearing on the plot as three out of the four wind up dead before the end credits roll.

A pair of young psychotic sisters (Haley Sehgal and Chelsea Lee Wheatley) are responsible for the deaths, luring the campers to their home where they drug them and mutilate them for kicks. This part of the film is pure torture porn, and much more entertaining than watching the friends getting drunk around a camp fire. There are some effective gore effects, and the whole thing is made a tad more shocking due to the tender ages of those committing the atrocities.

The last act revolves around 'final girl' Katie (Sara Jean Underwood) trying to escape from the two mini-psychos and their equally deranged father (Kevin J. O'Neill). The film was no award winner up to this point, but things get really dumb when Katie fails to give her attackers a whack with an axe when the opportunity arises, instead throwing down her weapon to try and make a run for it. This level of stupidity is rewarded when Katie is recaptured and presumably subjected to more pain and suffering.

Jason Sutton's direction is crude (this is his one and only film as director), the dialogue (also by Sutton) is weak, and the acting is entry level at best, although I get the feeling that the two main actresses weren't cast for their abilities as thespians.

A generous 3/10 for the babes and the gore.

I gave this one a 3, mostly because I've seen too many like it already. It didn't bring anything new, exciting, different, better done, nothing worth mentioning. Just another "lets make a movie in the woods" thing, that will pass by you, without leaving an impression, without even noticing it was there at some point.

Sure the budget was small, cause it is the easiest indie type of horror, the woods one, the acting was somewhat OK, the characters had some core, but after the first half, it all goes down the drain. It just becomes bad, when you get to see where this is heading...wow. So most of you, lucky people, will stay away from it, and get something good in return. Woods horror movies: plenty! Pick your choice.

Zellwood is avoidable. Watch it at your own peril!