Goblin

Sometimes it's best to review a film before it completely slips from your memory. This is one such time. I can't really think of anything really bad about 2010's 'Goblin,' but then I can't think of anything particularly positive to say about it. I guess that's why it's probably the definition of mediocre.

Long ago, blah, blah, blah, supernatural shenanigans, blah, blah, blah, now we have a monster running round the woods killing people. And we have our horror movie.

Only the 'horror' element doesn't really start until around the halfway mark. The first forty-five minutes are all taken up with 'character growth,' only the characters aren't that special. In fact, the lead actress plays quite an unlikable teenage girl who you'll find it hard to root for. The others are your typical horror movie stereotypes. If you've ever seen another similar film you'll know exactly who will live and who will die. All dialogue within the first fifteen minutes is basically exposition and the addition of an old local man who delivers a warning to the main cast adds to the cliches.

At least the second half picks up a bit when the goblin itself makes more appearances. There's not much in the way of gore, but the creature is actually quite nicely designed, so props there, I guess. But the film just seems to feel far longer than its ninety minute runtime. Granted I was watching it on a streaming service, but every time I paused it and saw how far through I was I expected to be half to three quarters of the way through, only to find that either twenty or thirty minutes had passed.

Weirdly, my main gripe came about halfway through when I realised that, despite it being set on Halloween, most scenes took place during the day. Granted, the climax was filmed at night, but I don't think I've ever seen a film set around this time that's supposed to be scary and have it filmed on a nice warm afternoon.

Maybe I'm being too harsh. Like I say, it's not a bad film - there's just so many that do far better with equal or less of a budget. Watch it if there's nothing else, but don't expect anything too memorable.

Typical of the entries in the Sci-Fi scheme of things is this tale of an ancient curse being perpetuated on a small town where danger lurks in the woods whenever Halloween approaches.

GIL BELLOWS is the father who takes his family to a rustic cabin for a vacation, accompanied by a teen-aged daughter (TRACY SPIRIDAKOS) and her giggling friend (CAMILLE SULLIVAN), along with wife and baby. He meets a few of the townspeople and we're aware that something is out of kilter--there's a secret being held behind closed doors and we know the family is in immediate danger.

That's the set-up, accompanied by lots of exposition about witches and an ancient curse involving human sacrifice, with the story set just before and during another Halloween. Actually, the script is fairly good at developing the characters (for a change), the photography is very striking, and the acting on a generally higher level than you'd expect in this sort of horror film. There's some bloody gore to satisfy fans who crave the sight of injuries inflicted on innocent victims.

The goblin creature itself is kept shrouded in a dark cloak most of the time and when revealed is a pretty frightening sight, with all due respect to CGI effects. The music is creepy and the atmosphere of dread takes on a stronger feel for the last part of the story, which takes a little too long to set up the whole thing.

After a dull beginning, not too bad but could have been more tightly paced.

First of all I am not claiming this movie to be a masterpiece by far, but for a scyfy flick it stands above a lot of the 'syfy' originals I have seen in the past and if you take it for what it is, its really not that bad of a movie. I got a chance to watch it late last night on a snowy New England evening and it was able to keep my attention all the way through. It had decent acting, decent gore, and a decent scenery for a TV movie. I think scyfy has come along way from the some of the older flicks they put out. Of course this movie doesn't really add anything new to the genre, but cmon we can't expect too much from the scyfy network. ScyFy is good for giving small little movies to quench the thirst of die-hards while we wait for the next gem sci fi or Horror movie to come along. If you expect a hidden gem to come in the form of a ScyFy original movie you better pack your lunch. My point is its a TV movie so try to view it as such.

Anyway, moving right along like I said its not likely that we will see Gil Bellows or any of the other actors at the grammy awards any time soon for this, but if you happen to come upon it on the Sci fi channel and don't mind their movies too much you might want to give it a watch.

Keep in mind, I give this a 6 and am rating it as a T.V. movie. If I paid to go see it a theater or bought it new for $14 I would rate it differently.

Filmed in the deep woods of British Columbia, 2010's "Goblin" tells the story of a cursed forest hamlet in Colorado wherein an extremely tall and malicious goblin appears every Halloween to kill newborns and anyone else who may get in the way.

Unlike joke-horror films like "Cabin Fever," "Goblin" takes the material totally serious with zero camp or goofiness. This is the way monster movies should be done. After all, once an element of goofiness is introduced it's no longer possible to take the film serious and be horrified by the events, which is one of the main purposes of horror movies.

I was impressed with the quality of the acting & writing, particularly for a low-budget TV movie. The characters are not one-dimensional; they're written as believable human beings and the actors, professionals that they are, are able to follow suit.

This one has all the mandatory staples of a deep woods horror flick -- gorgeous babes, gorgeous babes fleeing in terror, gorgeous babes fleeing in terror with titillating clothing (I'm just having fun so don't take me too seriously, lol), youthful romantic liaisons, creepy malicious monster, good characters to root for, particularly the father (Gil Bellows) and his family/friends.

The "gorgeous babes" include the main protagonist Tracy Spiridakos, blonde cutie Erin Boyes and Julia Maxwell, the latter clad in an alluring goth-girl costume with stockings & high heels (no wonder the Goblin goes after her!). Bellow's wife in the story, Camille Sullivan, also deserves an honorable mention.

Speaking of the monster, aren't goblins supposed to be small-ish creatures? Not so here. The goblin in this movie is close to 7' tall and has the ability to teleport. When he's fully revealed in the final ten minutes he looks too-obviously CGI and Grade-B Pumpkinhead, but throughout most of the film he appears in a cool black-hooded robe, which somehow makes him more mysterious, gothic and eerie. The fact that he emits a horrible stench is an excellent touch.

One critic panned the film thusly: "the reasoning behind the random killings is terrible. If the thing hunts babies why's it laying waste to random people with no babies? Totally retarded." Answer: The goblin's prime directive is to kill babies in light of the curse and because infants represent undefiled new life and potential. As for laying waste to random people, the old man clearly points out near the end that, because the goblin hunts babies, it sniffs out the scent of infants on any person who's been near one; hence, his attraction to the girls who were babysitting the baby, Nathan. The goblin is obviously a demon, a minion of the devil, do you think a demon is going to spare the life of anyone who gets in its way? What's the purpose of demons anyway? To "kill, steal and destroy." Hence, the goblin was excited at the prospect of extra people to terrify and kill.

On the downside: Although the story takes place during Halloween, it's obviously summertime (look at the kid's clothes and the foliage, etc.). Also, the climax with the car and spear is rather eye-rolling. But these negatives are minor in view of the entire film.

FINAL WORD: Make no mistake, despite being a TV movie, "Goblin" is a standout deep woods monster flick. The goblin is actually frightening and the protagonists are so believable and three-dimensional that you care about them, and are literally shocked when the monster tears them to pieces.

The film runs 1 hour, 32 minutes and was shot in Pitt Meadows, British Columbia.

GRADE: A

ENDNOTE: On another site a reviewer accused me of somehow being involved in the production of "Goblin" since I gave it a "glowing review." The truth is I had nothing to do with this production or any other film production. I'm not in the business. I write reviews simply because I like to write and share my views. Secondly, I had no qualms about pointing out the film's (minor) flaws. Regardless, I stand by my review. I evaluate films according to what they are and aspire to be. No genre is beyond redemption or above contempt. In this case "Goblin" is low-budget TV monster flick and I rated it accordingly.

On 31 October 1831, in the Hollow Glen village, the locals sacrifice what they consider "unclean" in a bonfire to protect their village. When they throw a deformed baby in the bonfire, his mother, who is a witch, curses the babies of the dwellers and creates an evil creature from the bones of her son to take their souls in the Halloween. The story of the Goblin becomes a legend.

In the present days, Neil Perkins (Gil Bellows) travels with his second wife Kate (Camille Sullivan); his rebel teenage daughter Nikki (Tracy Spiridakos); his baby son Nathan (Jordan Moore) and Nikki's best friend Cammy (Erin Boyes) to an isolated cabin in Hollow Glen expecting to start a business with his partner Owen (Colin Cunningham). The family is warned to leave the village before the Halloween by the drunkard Charlie (Donnelly Rhodes), but they do not give credit to his words.

On 31 October, Neil, Kate and Owen have a meeting with Sheriff Milgreen (Kyle Andrew Wheeler) and they leave Nathan with Nikki and Cammy. The two girls are visited by three friends and Nikki leaves Nathan alone for less than one minute. When she returns, the baby is missing and the Goblin is killing her friends.

"Goblin" is a lame horror movie where it is hard to say what is the worst: the story, the direction, the acting or the edition. The plot is stupid and full of clichés and annoying characters. The performances are terrible, highlighting Colin Cunningham in a silly role. The edition is awful, with inadequate cuts. The direction is very poor. The result is a forgettable movie. My vote is two.

Title (Brazil): "Goblin – O Sacrifício" ("Goblin – The Sacrifice")