Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

This is not a quality film and I don't think they even meant it to be good or memorable. If you watched the trailers and *didn't* expect it to be terrible, I'd be very, very surprised. I would never have paid to see this. I only saw it because I got passes to a free advance screening. And it was just as ridiculous as I expected - and I was pretty entertained. We were laughing pretty hard the whole time.

The movie wasn't trying to have a good plot or a surprise twist. Clocking in at a little over an hour, it could have been season finale of a B-grade TV series of the same premise. I think movie was just trying to be funny, and I think their jokes worked. Like how Hansel has a "medical condition" (not spoiling it here). It doesn't work in a physiological sense - but who cares? It was really funny that they even made that connection!

There was an incredible amount of gore in this movie; but I suppose that itself was a joke, given the premise of the movie. Their other jokes relied on anachronisms (weapons, fanboys, crime investigations). But they were careful enough that the anachronisms were funny in the context of the world-building instead of being glaring anomalies.

There might be some people complaining about what an inadequate film this was with respect to plot, but that would be missing the point. Don't watch this expecting to take away anything - it's really only just for the lawls.

Lately we have seen a lot of these fairy tale remakes, where they take a basic fairy tale plot, add in a lot of CGI, slightly darker atmosphere and some sex and call it a day. I still prefer the Disney version, thank you very much. At least in those films the story flows smoothly and the characters are not cardboard cutouts. That being said, this particular fairy tale movie was a pleasant surprise. For one, it didn't try to retell the same exact story we have grown up with. Rather it took the story of Hansel and Gretel and asked the question: "What if they grew up?" I'm totally on board with that question. It's something we've never seen before and frankly it's a fascinating idea. So yeah, colour me interested.

The film itself ends up being pretty much what anyone would expect. I hesitate to call it a good film, because it has numerous plot holes, nonsensical twists and its characters are somewhat bland and clichéd. On the other hand, it has a good visual style, its action is very pleasing, if a bit gore-filled (not a bad thing in this case), the two main actors are actually pretty good in their roles, and as a whole it's just plain solid fun. Yeah, it's stupid most of the time, but it's fun kind of stupid. The kind where you're just able to sit back, enjoy the scenery and laugh at the jokes.

It also needs to be remembered that this was Tommy Wirkola's first big budget film. And for a debut film, this shows a lot of promise. The style is definitely there, as is the atmosphere. The story-telling and the character development need some work, but even big name directors struggle with those every now and then. I'm looking forward to what this guy will bring us next.

And that's this film. Yeah, it's one of those so bad it's good films, but I'd still recommend this. The idea alone is worth checking out.

The siblings Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) are left alone in the woods by their father and captured by a dark witch in a candy house. However they kill the witch and escape from the spot. Years later, the orphans have become famous witch hunters.

When eleven children go missing in a small village, the Major summons Hansel and Gretel to rescue them, and they save the red haired Mina (Pihla Viitala) from the local sheriff that wants to burn her accusing Mina of witchcraft. Soon they discover that the Blood Moon will approach in three days and the powerful dark witch Muriel (Famke Janssen) is the responsible for the abduction of children. She intends to use the children together with a secret ingredient in a Sabbath to make the coven of witches protected against the fire. Meanwhile Hansel and Gretel disclose secrets about their parents.

"Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters" is a great entertainment for ordinary viewers like me that like the genre of fantasy but based on the Metacritic Rating, it is not recommended to intellectuals. The story is very funny and the special effects and make-up are top notch. Gemma Arterton is one of the sexiest actresses and it is good to see her again. If the viewer likes this genre, he or she will certainly enjoy "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters". I do not understand why people that like art movies spend their time watching this type of movie and writing bad reviews. My vote is seven.

Title (Brazil): "João e Maria: Caçadores de Bruxas" ("John and Mary: Witch Hunters")

I seriously enjoyed this film-- it had more gore than Mel Gibson could shake a fist at, some very cute actors, and didn't waste time with excessive back-story and details, and gave me many good laughs.

Its not an intellectually stimulating movie... duh. Its made to a hilariously entertaining popcorn flick with over-the-top action and unrealistic weapons that wouldn't have existed given the 'time period' this movie seems to be set in. So you folks out there giving it bad rap for not meeting your standards, calm down. Its clearly not trying to. :).

This movie's violence reminded me of the Expendables-- but this film never takes itself too seriously like the other film does... I found this much more fun to watch.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

** (out of 4)

R-rated, gory horror-adventure has brother and sisters Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretal (Gemma Arterton) called to a small town to try and locate some children that have been kidnapped by some witches. Soon they realize that a Queen witch (Famke Janssen) has bigger plans that could have a major change on the world. HANSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS isn't quite as bad as some are making it out to be but there's no question that the entire film just has an uneasy mix of genres that never fully come together and in the end the film just came off as something that didn't know what it wanted to be or do. At times there's some campy comedy moments but these aren't good enough to save the picture. At other times we're given a fairly interesting look at two people hunting witches but the film doesn't do too much with this. We're also given a picture with some extremely graphic gore that comes out of nowhere. I really liked the fact that they went for a R-rating and didn't hold back for a smaller rating but at the same time if you took this away there really wouldn't be much to the movie. The film manages to be slightly entertaining because of this type of gore but at the same time I can see how it might not sit well with some more sensitive viewers. Another thing I liked was the actual look of the witches. The CGI effects were actually quite believable whenever the witches changed form in their faces. The look of the major witch was also quite nice and benefited from the strong and fun performance by Janssen who managed to bring a certain sexy nature to the role. Both Renner and Arterton are good in their parts but the screenplay really makes both characters quite boring and uninteresting. The supporting players here are usually much better and the movie probably would have benefited having them in it more. This includes an obsessed fan of the duo as well as an evil sheriff. Another problem with the film is that you just never really get involved with anything going on. It looks nice and some of the action scenes are put together nicely but there's just no real energy that brings you into the film.