Hardwired

The plot: After being involved in a nasty car crash, a man receives an experimental implant, courtesy of an omnipresent, multinational corporation.

Hardwired is a throwback to the low budget cyberpunk movie boom of the early 90s. With former A-list stars, an interesting (though not quite original) premise, and lots of action scenes, you'd think that this movie would have lots of promise. One could even be forgiven for thinking that it'd even be good. Unfortunately, it's so cheesy, predictable, low budget, and comically inept that you can't help but laugh. Despite all of its ridiculous problems, it's so earnest and enthusiastic that I can't bring myself to hate it. It's an enjoyable mess of a movie, as long as you're not expecting something intellectual and artistic.

Amidst all the cheesiness, there were some things that worked well, and I have to admit that I'm tiny bit disappointed that there isn't a sequel. I would have loved to see Lance Henricksen play the evil megalomaniac. I guess we'll never know how the story ends, though it's probably for the best that we're not inflicted with an even more clichéd followup.

If you're a fan of low budget B movies, it can't hurt too much to give Hardwired a try.

Not too long ago, I wrote that Cuba Gooding Jr. simply didn't seem to care anymore, after appearing in one awful direct-to-video movie after another. And seeing him paired with the equally washed-up Val Kilmer, I didn't have high hopes for this movie. But after seeing the decent "Wrong Turn At Tahoe" and this movie, maybe things are turning around for Gooding.

Don't get me wrong - this isn't a GREAT movie. The script, for one thing, is derived from a number of past movies like "Total Recall" (which co-star Michael Ironside also appeared in). But it is competently done for what it is. The production values are pretty strong for a direct-to-video movie, Gooding is adequate in his role, and the script, while derivative, does try for a little mystery and a few original touches. No, it isn't a movie to seek out, but if it comes across on TV it will do the job.

Note to Val Kilmer fans: It's pretty obvious that he filmed all his (limited) scenes in two days at the most.

This...is...not...a...movie...folks.

It...is...obviously...a...TV...pilot.

Kilmer and Ironside clearly had no interest in doing a TV series, but Gooding apparently did. And for TV, not so terribly bad. The concept just about carries it. As for the comments about clutzy props, TV show decider-suits love the idea that the thing won't cost them a bunch, yank some crap out of the warehouse and fake the rest.

I liked it for what it was. And for the ludicrous notion that higher powers would want to put chips into us. Wherever did they get that from?

Of course, this puppy won't see the light of day.

Hardwired is like a (bad) Max Headroom fanfic RoboCop ripoff - including trying to make it look like it was made back then, except the production values don't look as good. It might have worked as a parody sketch if they'd kept it under 10 minutes. The special effects are particularly unbelievable. Throughout I kept feeling it was more like a Made-For-TV Movie, and with the ending more appropriate to a TV Pilot, it makes me wonder. It's not even so-bad-it's-funny, merely pathetic, so avoid this even for Schlock B-Movie nights.

I'm fairly generous with my Ratings, so 3 might be high.

In a future world dominated by the corporations, Luke Gibson (Cuba Gooding Jr.) is driving her beloved pregnant wife Veronica (Monica Mustelier) to her work on the day of his birthday; out of the blue, a truck hits their car. Luke's medical insurance is expired and he is doomed to die; however, the executive of the Hope Corporation Virgil (Val Kilmer) proposes Luke's sister to submit him to an experimental surgery with the implant of a chip in his brain. The amnestic Luke awakes and sooner he discovers that he has visions and he is the Subject 373 of a secret project. He is helped by a team of hackers formed by Keyboard (Chad Krowchuk) that became paraplegic after being shot by a henchman of the Hope Corporation; his father Hal (Michael Ironside); Punk Blue (Juan Riedinger); and Punk Red (Tatiana Maslany). Luke tries to recover his memories and discover the objective of the mysterious project.

"Hardwired" is an unoriginal and boring film that seems to be a bad pilot of a TV series. It is amazing the decadency of Cuba Gooding Jr., Val Kilmer and Michael Ironside. The worst is that I like these actors and regret their recent choices. Anyway, this movie is a good chance for those that have problems with insomnia and do not like to use pills. My vote is four.

Title (Brazil): "Invasor de Mentes" ("Invader of Minds")