The Terminators

There's no story. None.

A bunch of robots go berserk. A big robot apparently got control, but nobody really knows or cares. The robots all look the same; macho steroid guys who never say anything. They just shoot guns and croak people. And shoot guns. And croak people. And shoot guns. And croak people. Sometimes for variety's sake, they kill people by strangling them or twisting their neck right off.

There's a bunch of people in a small town, running around and screaming so the robots know where they are. One guy in the group worked for the robot building company but quit. So he can get rid of the gun-happy things maybe. One has an unfaithful hubby who's fooling around with her friend. We know nothing more about anybody.

People die, phony looking blood spurts around, robots occasionally freeze up just as they want to kill somebody, a bunch of folks somehow all know how to fly spacecraft with no training, more screaming, more robots doing poor impressions of Arnold the original Terminator, and you never quite know what the whole point was. The acting and directing are both almost as non-existent as the script: my personal favorite was the sheriff. He drones on at about three words per hour; I swear I saw other actors fell asleep before he finished his lines.

Almost beyond the "so bad it's good" range. You have to go in with the mindset of laughing at this one, or else you'll never be able to watch it all the way through.

Yes it's that bad. In this "movie" robots turn against humans just like on futurama, only less scary or believable. Watch Troll 2 instead.

First off, I apologize to my wife for making her watch this film with me. This is by far the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life. This movie is like a porno without the porn!!! Driller Killer had more cinematic prowess than this, and that is a movie that shouldn't be mentioned around anyone feeling remotely depressed for fear of a sudden shift toward the suicidal. B movies are bad, but this one has managed to plummet into the depths of God-awful. Is there such a thing as a C movie? Please, please, PLEASE, if you or a loved one are thinking of renting this movie, or DEAR GOD, buying this thing, just don't do it. Put the DVD case down, back away, and run. You'll thank me for this review. If you don't take this advice, be prepared to live with the consequences. Do anything else. Visit the IRS, go see your ex for pleasant conversation, or go to the dentist and get the 4 hour root canal you've been postponing. Your time will be better spent than curling up with this piece of trash.

Paleeese... I'm not judging the actors just the acting. It looked like none of the actors were given a script, only lines to say. By today standards this film stepped in "B" and could not get out. Rather than spending your time watching this, your time would be better spent taking a nap. The visual EFX were OK but obviously a lack of budget hurt the finished product. The constant use of very close head shots was very TVish, possibly to make up for the cheap locations or lack of set dressing, I don't know. I did not,no, could not watch the whole thing. I took that nap instead. I can't say this is the worst feature film I've ever seen, but then CRANK 2 will be hard to drive out of that position.

Since I can't really add anything new or different to what others have written (basically, any review with score of 2 stars or less I'm in agreement with), I decided to add to the list of films Asylum should consider making:

Battlestar Galaxia; Star Track, The Motion Movie; Star War IV, A New Hopefulness; Star War V, The Empire Stages a Counter-offensive; Star War VI, The Jedi Comes Back; Babylon 6; Lightning Bug; The Twilight Area

Maybe they should get into historical dramas:

Approximately 300; The Passion of the Jesus; Troys; Inglorious Soldiers Who Never Knew Their Fathers; Spartacusus; Saving Corporal Ryan