I'm Still Here

I'm Still Here is a difficult film to watch. It's slow and plodding at points with long cuts where little seems to happen. JP's character is hard to like as he's spinning out of control lashing out at those around him. It's like Entourage during a massive drug addled shame spiral.

I get it, It was all a big act. Yet watching the film you can't help but scratch your head and wonder. What is real and what isn't? Are the coke binges real, the prostitutes, the tirades... Is the hoax a hoax? Affleck's directing and Phoenix's skillful performance made me wonder.

But what is definitely real is the public and the relationship that we have with our celebrities. Some of us (myself included) have watched (no cheered) the self destruction of certain celebrities. This film made me question why I sometimes hope to see others fail. I didn't like what I saw about myself, that having the successful fail makes me feel better about my own shortcomings. Few films can bring about such self reflection and it showed me that I am too scared to take risks.

Thankfully this film does not have the same aversions when it comes to taking risks, OK It takes HUGE risks. Who among us would leave the safety and security of a multi-million dollar career to make a film that will be misunderstood, often hated, and potentially career destroying? In the end was it worth it, that will be for the public to decide but I for one am inclined to believe that it was. After the inevitable lawsuits and box office failures, Phoenix and Affleck may disagree.

I found the final sequence of the film to be strangely emotional, and it really made me appreciate the skills of Casey Affleck. I've seen so many negative comments about his directing and I can only assume that those who are dissing his approach either haven't seen the film, or think that if there isn't a ton of glitzy effects a movie was a waste.

As for Joaquin, I found this to be his most compelling performance to date. Yes he was excellent as Johnny Cash but what about Signs, what about Reservation Road, what about Gladiator? (yes I know that won an Oscar but sorry, that movie sucked) After seeing I'm still here, I have new respect for the man and hope that this film will redefine his career for years to come.

Having just watched the movie the burning question I guess everyone is asking is "is it all a hoax or not?"

Well does it matter? Really? The answer is no. A better question to ask is "Is it a good film" the answer to that is... well... yes it is.

In a culture obsessed with celebrity and popular success the documentary or 'mockumentary' is totally riveting and will have you glued to your seat ('If', and its a big 'if', you are the type of person even moderately interested in celebrity!)

Much of it can be likened in the same way to personally watching a disaster about to happen. Picture seeing a train about to crash and having absolutely no power to to do anything about it. You know the outcome, but you can't take your eyes off the immanent movement of the train and the inevitable outcome of the collision.

That is this film.. and it's constructed very well.. despite what people may tell you... there is no 'based on a true story' there is no 'this is fictional' subtitles before or after. It lets you draw your own conclusions whatever they may be.

I won't comment myself on whether its real or not but suffice to say if you research it enough I'm sure you will draw your own conclusions. (You probably will if you are the type of person that cares a jot about celebrity and whether you care about "J.P's" future career - which is pretty clever when you think about it... And I'll tell you why in the next paragraph).

Because Joaquin Phoenix is not likable in the film at all. He really isn't. But you want to like him. But he is an a55. Which is quite brilliant...

In conclusion... I don't think 'everyone' is going to get it... but I take my hat off to Casey Affleck because he directed it very, very well. Perhaps not in a classical style, like say, Clint Eastwood... but in a 'gonzo' film style that people, in my humble opinion, who are savvy and thoughtful, will understand in this modern age of CCTV, internet, Utube etc.

Lastly, if you 'are' one one those people then vote it an 8 because it certainly does not deserve a 6. That is simple unjust, and no I don't work for anyone associated with the film.

Thanks for reading. My advise is give it a go...

S.

This is unlike any other movie ever made. Inventive. Joaquin made a movie, he was in character at all times. Whether or not he broke character or there were flaws or slips in the film, he had to keep in character any time he was in the public eye. He wasn't locked away on a set or in a remote location. He wasn't shielded from scrutiny until every word or action was carefully crafted by editors. He was acting in plan sight, having to flow and improvise anytime he was around the media. These guys are made a film by catching the media off guard, a media hoax, instead of the media paying there rent by displaying or exposing celebrity.

This is the result of a history of celebrity turning the tables on the media. Edgar Allan Poe used the print media to conduct hoaxes for the end goal of entertainment and enlightenment. He manufactured a truth to raise questions, do you believe everything you read or hear in the case of Orson Wells? I commend the efforts and dedication that went into the making of this movie.

Also, I wish no one had let me in on the ruse until I had seen the movie. Being fooled is fun, it's why magicians will always be entertaining despite the fact that we may adamantly dismiss the existence of magic.

This has to be one of the most weird and surreal movies that I've ever seen. Watching Joaquin Phoenix bouncing around like a gibbering idiot and rapping in front of Edward James Olmos (rap name: EJO), while a nonsensical voice-over of Olmos rambles about raindrops and mountains and inner light...it's just insane. And the entire mockumentary is like that, to varying degrees. 

Joaquin plays a deranged, drug-using, prostitute-frequenting, delusional, destructive, bizzaro-version of himself, and I just can't look away. Every time he steps up onto a stage to rap, it's a hilarious train wreck. Even though you can't help but feel painfully embarrassed for the character. The way he berates his assistants, tries to get a friend in recovery to take drugs, constantly surrenders to his own paranoia and delusions, and takes narcissism and selfishness to the furthest excesses, it's all just unbelievably compelling. It's like watching the worst person in the world and wondering what insanity they're going to race towards next.

I thought that the performance by Phoenix was great. This is my absolute favorite movie by him, and my favorite "character" that he's played. It's not by accident that so many people thought this movie was a genuine documentary about Phoenix's spiraling life. He genuinely makes the character seem crazy enough to believe that his music is actually good and that the absurd things that he's saying have meaning. It feels real, even when you know it's not. Every uncomfortable, embarrassed and incredulous reaction of his friends and the people he meets just drew me deeper into the world of this bizarre man.

I was beyond impressed by what Phoenix and Casey Affleck did with this. When I first heard about it, it sounded like a vanity project that would be an amusing oddity, at best. What I got instead was one of the best movies I've seen this year. It is NOT for everyone. But how can I not rate a movie highly that made me laugh so much, while also making me feel sadness, disgust, pity, incredulity, anger, hope, embarrassment, and ten other things? 

This experiment was a smashing success, in my opinion, and something truly unique that I'll be thinking about for a long time. I'm Still Here is audacious, ridiculous, and certainly divisive. I can honestly see why some people would hate this movie, and the entire idea behind it. But, long before that perfect ending left my screen, I knew which side of that divide I would fall on.

This is a very good movie, but it may not be obvious at first. Our present culture is enamored with spectacle over substance, so I can see why its cursory glance would miss a deeper story being told. It is the story of each of us.

On the surface of things, the movie comes across as a bit voyeuristic. The stereotyped perspective of celebrity life is interesting enough (or not). It is both titillating and uncomfortable to peek behind the veil of someone's raw and intimate life, to have such a personal journey on public display.

The long title for the movie reads, "I'm Still Here: The Lost Years of Joaquin Phoenix." Truly, if we are lucky, we are all works in progress. What is the nature of our identity? What individual and shared narratives have we embraced to define our lives? When those stories unravel at the seams, come crumbling down, what remains?

There has never been a line blurring fiction from non-fiction. It is all fiction, always. The stories we tell ourselves, and others, are both real and imagined. They give shape and trajectory to our lives. Yet, we are simply an expression of circumstance and happenstance -- trying to carve meaning out of our fleeting experience, to connect a constellation of moments and memories into some discernible picture.

We want to believe, in our hearts, that we are special: the mountaintop waterdrop. Rather, we are part of a greater ocean of being, the depths of which we cannot even dimly fathom. Some people go their entire lives without wondering who they are, or how they are called to contribute to the world. Many people are happy enough with the surface show, oblivious to the mystery and reality of their authentic selves. It takes effort to reveal the treasures within. Why bother.

We want our lives to have the benefit of a movie. We want everything somehow to come together, to make sense, to have resolution, a happy ending, triumph, victory! In short: to affirm our desires and imaginings. But life is not like that. It is a messy, desultory business. In the person, in the example, of Joaquin Phoenix, we witness the everyday phenomenon of going to pieces, without falling apart.

As Joaquin says at the top of the movie, he wants to be seen for whom he is, just that. All of it, the good and the not-so-good. From this place, there is the genuine possibility to grow and to become. Truthfulness is the foundation of all virtues. Everything is built on this honest open humanity.

After the fiction of one's self- and culturally imposed identity is obliterated, we can pick our way among the ruins and begin again. The inner and outer forces that have come together to define us -- in a very real sense, to imprison us -- no longer hold their narrative sway. The movie ends on this baptismal note, with a new beginning, a rebirth. Each, in our own way, is reminded: Free thyself from the fetters of the world, loose thy soul from the prison of self. Seize thy chance, for it will come to thee no more.

With a wink and a nod, the movie is complete with cast and writing credits, made under the banner of They Are Going to Kill Us Productions. As self-involved as the movie may first appear, we can be forgiving of its conceit or deceit. This is cinema verite (no accents), as the camera is pointing to truth, without the story itself having to be true. "I'm Still Here" carries the double meaning for this universal and particular process of sacrifice, discovery and spiritual maturation.

In life, when all is said and done, we don't know quite what we have lived through, or what we have wrought. The curtain falls. Someone else takes the stage. A new story begins. Round and round it goes. If we could see the end in the beginning, perhaps we would not lament, but rejoice, in the journey.