The Mystical Adventures of Billy Owens

You like magic? Imagine a bored parent who writes a school play and then decides to film it with random people in their neighborhood reciting a few lines, followed by cheap effects they threw in on their PC at home. That's about the level of magic here.

When I looked this "movie" up, I was astonished to see that there is a sequel. However, considering that it appeared to have been made for free, then they shouldn't have had a hard time coming up with the money for another one. What's equally disturbing is the fact that it took no less than THREE people to write this, and yet another to work on the "screenplay".

Rowdy Roddy Piper, if you can believe it, completely outshines the rest of the cast. You can't really blame unpolished child actors for not being very good, but with any level of decent input from a director or an acting coach (even a grade-school theater teacher) you would have gotten better performances. Since everyone else seemed to just walk in and read a couple of lines, we can't assume they wanted any level of "performance".

As other reviewers pointed out, everything else about it was equally amateurish. The camera work, effects, costumes...probably all provided by the people in the movie, who hopefully didn't get paid for much of anything other than residuals from DVD rentals. As the end credits rolled, I saw that a number of the extras had the last name "Gregg." For his sake, I hope that they aren't related to Clark Gregg, the hilariously dark genius involved in Choke and Avengers, because that would be pretty embarrassing.

Still, the kids were cute, if not good actors, and I disagree with others about letting kids watch it - if they're really young, like mine, it will still entertain them, mostly because they haven't learned how to differentiate this from anything good. I'm giving this 3 stars because Roddy and the hot mom gave fairly decent performances, and the kids did better than the rest of the adults, especially with the obvious lack of any kind of training or direction. Hopefully, if they attempt any sort of careers in the performing arts, they will look back on this movie and see the need for a bit of training (any amount would be better than none) before forging ahead.

There is nothing in the world that really makes me angry enough to fight. I am old enough to know that violence is rarely the answer, if ever. But damn, this movie enrages every fiber of my soul.

So what is the story behind this train wreck? I can only guess that director Mark McNabb found some gullible parents that were trying to get their kids into show business. So with the help of four movies, he sought to turn the titular kids in this film into stars, starting with this horrible effort.

The plot...oh boy the plot. It veers off into so many directions that it is impossible to figure it out. Something about a scepter and wands and magic and...whatever. Then you got unconvincing bad guys who have managed to stay immortal for years despite not changing their name.

The acting was so bad I felt personally attacked. I know I stink at emoting, but goodness everyone in this movie is dreadful. I hate knocking on kids but what is a man supposed to do when forced to experience this dreck first hand?

I barely made it to the end, and I feel like I deserve a trophy. Where is my damn award Mark McNabb? Is the prize starring in one of your movies? I hope so! I wanna show these kids how to suck at acting. What was I talking about again?

My fourth grade daughter found home-made videos on Youtube. In these videos, kids off camera hold various Barbie dolls and "act" out a "drama" they made up themselves. In all honesty, these Youtube videos are vastly more entertaining, better-acted and more professionally made than this so-called film was. This film looks like it was made by a couple of fifth-graders on a computer. The acting is terrible, the continuity is non-existent, the plot meandering and lacking anything of interest, the characters are shallow and one dimensional, the camera work is amateurish and best of all, it is a blatant rip-off of the Harry Potter franchise. This film comes complete with a boy wizard, his obnoxiously precocious female know-it-all friend, and his dull best bud. There's even a bully with blond hair.

If you are looking for a film worth watching, this is not the one. I would not even characterize this as a B movie; D or F seems more appropriate to me.

What you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Amateurish in every respect. Not watchable. This movie was a big disappointment for my wife daughter. We sat down for an evening together and ending up annoyed and feeling cheated. The movie would be useful for anyone interested in how not to make a movie. A well made movie is seamless and the viewer is not distracted while watching to wonder about he skills of those who made the movie. Conceivably a viewer might be forgiven if they thought that anyone can make a movie. This movie is a sure cure of such delusions. Just watch this and get reminded of how much effort it takes to develop a coherent plot, to have words for the characters that don't make them sound repetitious and insane and to set up shots where viewers can actually see what is going on.