Paris Hilton's My New BFF

I'm not a Paris fan and never have been so take this review with that bias in hand. This show is the dumbest, most scripted and unrealistic "reality" show around. I cannot imagine real human women auditioned for this show. I hope for society's sake that these contestants are paid actresses because if these women really want to be Paris Hilton's bff, I fear for the future of humanity. Perhaps I'm being extreme, but my God this show is stupid. Paris is an uneducated over plasticized bimbo who behaves even dumber than she likely is. She's such a terrible role model and I am sad the networks give her air time and even her own show. Don't watch this EVER, not even if there is a gun to your head. Death is a preferable alternative to sitting through even one episode of this garbage.

This is proof that you don't need talent to make it big in the show biz. Just be born in the right family and have connections and then you get to be plastered all over the media.

This is my first review on IMDb as I felt this has to be said: This mindless drivel should be banned, yes BANNED from ever being broadcast. How this egoistical, train-wreck of a show gets funded and passed for viewing is beyond every law of comprehension. I would seriously have more joy in watching a gray concrete wall being corroded by the rain than ever watching a single second of anything to do with Paris Hilton. Talentless beyond belief, she exudes the most pathetic character ever witnessed and those attempting to be her so-called 'BFF' make you awe in wonder at the level of intelligence on offer, which I would say like the show itself, is lower than the excretory product evacuated from the bowels of a common hog.

Who would humiliate them selves like this? What's wrong with people? How low do you have to fall to beg someone for friendship and especially if that someone is a spoiled, rich, daddy's girl!? This show is just terrible! Bottom of the bottom!!! A proof of how far human humiliation can go and a proof of how superstitious and poor some people are! How pathetic do you have to be to stare at Paris while she's sitting on her throne, waiting for her to approve you as her friend or better yet to humiliate you as a man!? Do this people have any pride left? I wouldn't do this show if it would mean my entire life! But don't get me wrong, this is, unfortunately, not the only show like that. There is plenty of them and i just can't believe that anyone is actually watching them or participating in 'em! TERRIBLE!!!

Just as I had thought that the "reality TV" market had already snatched up all the people with mental illnesses and all those cheap/unknown dime-a-dozen unemployed actors-for-hire, Paris Hilton's new MTV program proves that there is a seemingly inexhaustible supply of those two grade-Z media viruses.

To dismiss all the candidates as insane would be gullible. To label all of them as paid actors would be to underestimate the size of the pool of lunatics and morons that inhabit this sad little planet.

I believe that the assignments/tests should have been much better. A few suggestions:

1) The contestants get to shoot a porn film. Paris looks at the footage, and picks the girl with the smallest breast and the most idiotic grin.

2) The contestants are placed into large handbags, and pretend to be Paris's pet for 24 hours. The winner is expected to s*** 2-3 times, lick Hilton's derrière at least 5 times, and let Paris shove dog-food down their throat without complaining.

3) Each contestant is given exact replicas of Paris's 23 engagement rings. They then have to name as many of her 23 ex-fiancés as they can remember, and then write an essay on why they think Paris has to fake being "wife material" to the naïve public by being in a permanent state of "engagement".

4) A Paris Hilton Look-alike Competition. Each contestant gets a horror-movie make-up kit, and has to try to duplicate Paris's lazy eye and moronic grin to the best of their abilities.

5) The I.Q. test. All contestants with a score higher than 55 are automatically sent home. This would be the "April Fool's Day" assignment because none of the contestants would be eliminated after this round.

6) The South Park episode featuring Paris Hilton in the starring role is played in its entirety. The contestants would then have to explain whether what they just saw was an animated satire or a costume drama.

7) The contestants have to successfully complete an entire month's worth of impersonating any one of PH's three former best friends: Lindsey Lohan impersonators will be forced to have sex with an ugly female DJ, Britney Spears imitators will have to dance with a snake while lip-lynching out-of-synch in a phony dumb-U.S.-girlie "baby-voice", and Nicole Ritchie impersonators are expected to get themselves impregnated by a fat tattooed pop/baby-punk singer. (The fetuses will be later aborted in a "Paris Hilton MTV Abortion Special" and donated to PETA to feed the dolphins with.)

8) The VD assignment. "Collect as many venereal diseases in a 90-minute period as you can." The winner will be absolved from assignment 1.