Geisha vs ninja

Having witnessed the death of her father at the hands of a samurai by the name of "Hyo-e Kataguri" (Shigeru Kanai) a geisha named "Kotomi Yamabe" (Minami Tsukui) is determined to extract revenge upon him. As is so happens, although she has been trained in the arts of a geisha, when she was young she was also taught by her father the skills necessary for a samurai as well and armed with her father's katana she sets off on her quest to kill Hyo-e Kataguri. Unfortunately, once she finds him he manages to slip away and--alert to the knowledge that she is after him--he puts several obstacles in the form of ninjas, samurai and wizards to kill her before she can track him down again. To make matters even more complicated, there is a secret that she is unaware of and this also has an important impact upon her mission as well. Now rather than reveal any more I will just say that this was an okay samurai film which basically consisted of plenty of swordplay and martial arts. So those who enjoy action for the sake of action should have few problems enjoying this movie. On the flip side, however, the plot was rather minimal so viewers shouldn't expect much depth or intricacy. It's an action movie from start to finish. Nothing more and nothing less. All things considered then I rate it as about average.

The title pretty much says it all: pretty geisha Kotomi (Minami Tsukui) seeks revenge for the murder of her father, but to get to the man responsible for his death she must first defeat a series of foes in mortal combat. That's about it for plot, the film consisting of wall to wall fighting between the young woman and a variety of opponents (including a ronin, several ninjas, a monk, a magic man and his dream demons, and a bow-and-arrow toting 'Indian' woman) before she finally gets to even the score with her dad's killer.

Geisha Assassin is a low budget effort (from an undeniably enthusiastic group of film-makers) and has the distinctive look of having been shot on HD video rather than film; however, considering the relatively low production quality, the result is technically and visually impressive, with smart editing, considered direction, stylish lighting and cool choreography.

And yet, despite all of these positive points, the film fails to be a wholly satisfying experience, the slight plot failing to fully engage the viewer, the action scenes generating very little in the way of genuine excitement thanks to a frustrating sameness of fighting styles and locales, and the finale proving to be the dullest part of the whole affair rather than the highlight. With a tad more fun injected into proceedings—some excessive gore, perhaps, or even more outrageous comic-book-style adversaries—this might have been a hugely enjoyable piece of action cinema. Instead, it's passable entertainment for the duration, but unlikely to make a lasting impression.

5.5 out of 10, rounded up to 6 for IMDb.

I was apprehensive about blind buying this movie based upon the trailer, which looked like a B-movie that could end up a total disaster - ala "Legend of Red Dragon" (2002). However, I had an extra $20 in online gift certificates and was in the mood for a new Japanese action flick, so I took a chance - and I'm mighty glad I did. "Geisha vs. Ninjas" is not merely mildly entertaining low-budget fare like the "Gun Crazy" series, but is more entertaining for a number of reasons.

First and foremost, low-budget B-grade action flicks have inherent limitations that frequently leave the final product rather wanting. Creating a great action scene with no name actors, little money, and inexperienced stuntmen and choreographers is something incredibly difficult that's accomplished by only the most talented of filmmakers. Most of the time, you end up with a few decent moves mixed in with lots of edits and quick cuts to hide the lack of talent behind and in front of the camera. The people behind "Geisha vs. Ninjas" were the same people behind the action in "Death Trance" (2005) and "Onechanbara" (2008). My expectations were rightfully confused, because "Death Trance" was cool with decent action sequences while "Onechanbara" was stupid with poor action sequences.

Most surprisingly, "Geisha vs. Ninjas" has a number of highly effective swordfights and fist-a-cuffs that use wide camera shots that show multiple attacks and counterattacks from the actors, which is a remarkable, extremely impressive feat that must have required a lot of physical practice and rehearsals off camera. One example is the fist fight between the geisha and the monk, which is truly scintillating and is without doubt of a very high quality, even when compared to more popular martial arts fare from Hong Kong and Thailand. Anyone who watches that fight and claims it to be average B-movie quality simply doesn't know what high quality action is.

I'm probably taking this review too seriously, so let's get to the ninjas. Unfortunately, the ninjas only appear during the first 20 minutes or so, then disappear for the remainder of the film because the scriptwriters obviously wanted to keep things fresh by substituting other bad guys like monks, demons, tribal women, and samurai - which are entertaining in their own right. Therefore, those expecting lots and lots of ninjas will be disappointed in that regard, but when they are on screen they prove very difficult to kill and break out some crazy maneuvers. In addition, the geisha aspect of the film also drops off at about the same time the ninjas leave, as the lead protagonist discards her geisha outfit and goes for some "period" clothing instead. These are relatively minor quibbles that will be perceived as major negatives to those who so desperately want to see a geisha fight ninjas for ninety minutes.

As would be expected, the script is weak and the scoring is generic; but the greatest flaw of this movie is the final half hour, which loses some steam and feels drawn out with too much bland dialogue. This is a blunder because the opening 50 minutes are carried by excellent pacing, energy, and a bit of welcome cheesiness. That's it for the negatives though, and much of these cons are overshadowed by the numerous fight scenes.

Some of the early negative reviews on IMDb are ludicrous. The critics nit-pick the unrealistic aspects of this movie like the length of a sword, as if I care that the length of a weapon was extended for use in a film about a GEISHA FIGHTING NINJAS! Another criticism is that ninjas can't fly and that a geisha swordswoman could never be as strong as the one portrayed here. Well, let me tell you this. In a movie about a GEISHA FIGHTING NINJAS, some superhuman strength and gravity-defying abilities are more than welcome if the characters kick as much rear-end as they do here. The mere premise of this film is so ludicrous than one wonders why anyone would watch it with the slightest expectation for realism. And by the way, ninjas can do anything they want. Do you know why? Because they're ninjas, that's why.

So yeah, this movie is cool in all sorts of ways. For brainless fun, you're in for a good time.

The plot is simple enough. But being an avid fan of ninjas and samurai, I noticed too many mistakes in there.

1. a female geisha would not remove her clogs to fight because there may be spikes on the ground.

2. ninjas are not known to use katana because they are too long and become less effective in enclosed space. They usually carry a straight shorter blade call a ninjato.

3. the bamboo blade the geisha was carrying isn't usually as thick or long as a katana. They are mostly used as a concealed weapon, thus length and width are limited.

4. why did the female ninja keep pulling her mask off and putting it back on during the fight? The purpose of the mask is to minimize the exposed area that a light can shine on during an ambush or night op.

The fighting is stylized and anime-like. It feels a bit weird at times, especially when the geisha was fighting with the monk.

Oh... and the actress did not walk like a geisha. Totally unconvincing.

As this film opens Kotono, the titular geisha, confronts Hyoe, a samurai, and asks why he killed her father. He says he doesn't know who she means. He leaves and she is attacked by two other samurai. These are soon dispatched and she sets off to find Hyoe. Along the way she meets a variety of people who, for reasons she doesn't know, want to kill her. These include female ninjas, a monk with demonic powers and a lone woman in the forest who is a highly skilled fighter. Eventually she faces Hyoe again. Along the way we learn who her attackers really were and more importantly why a geisha would be so skilled in combat.

I wasn't expecting too much from this so was pleasantly surprised. The story is relatively simple... just about everybody Kotono meets will try to kill her and they will fail. The way they attack is nicely varied though and while nobody will doubt that Kotono will ultimately prevail she does get injured more than one might expect. Given the obvious budget constraints the fights are impressive. The cast is pretty solid; especially Minami Tsukui as Kotono. Overall I'd recommend this to fans of the genre; it might not be a great film but it is a lot of fun if you like ninja or samurai based action.

These comments are based on watching the film in Japanese with English subtitles.