Project Legion

Who ever wrote this needs to never write again, there's some great actors and directors that deserve to be on a mainstream platform but we got this. I feel maybe if the acting was a bit better but I was still lost with this story, it would skip so much that needed to be explained. The acting had no expression at all when in the most "serious" of situations, I feel I don't blame him for his acting because any good director would know that he wasn't ready and needed more time to improve. We would think you would get some bad ass for a main character considering he was military but it was very anticlimactic and sad. Props to Donald for doing his best but hopefully this crew learns and improves.

This is one of those afterparty 2 AM "hey, let's all get high and make a movie" ideas. Normally everyone sobers up the next day and the idea is forgotten. Not this lot.

First they wrote the script:

An apartment. A guy is inside. The door is closed. Guy yells at door. The end.

Then they held a casting call:

"I put the people with talent in room A and everyone who couldn't act in room B." "Uh oh, I just sent everyone in room A home." "That leaves us with someone named Cowboy, a former Playboy Playmate with more miles on her than Greyhound, and a woman best filmed in a really dark hallway." "Good enough."

Then they chose a director:

"You do it!" "No, you do it!" "Fine, I'll do it. What's a director do anyway?"

Then they chose a location:

"I know an abandoned mental institution with a giant exhaust fan at the end of the hall." "Perfect!" "Really?"

Then they started filming:

"We only have the camera for one day. Everyone try to arrive by 9 AM." "And... cut! Good job everyone. Let's grab an early lunch."

Into the editing room:

"Uh oh, the video software license expired." "We only had just enough film anyway."

And release:

"How much do we have left over from the $1000 we raised?"

Unwatchable. Three stars.

A hardened soldier wakes up to some catastrophe. As someone bangs on his door he acts more like a confused yuppy who figures hollering through the door will scare the door knocker away. Many errors in the movie make this a bonafide garbage fire. Lights flickering on and off yet TV stays on. Laptop shows white noise as a tv would. Plays a multiple voicemails on his phone. While listening to them he literally screams into the phone HELLO multiple times. The director needs to rethink his career choices if this is the garbage he is going to put out. The only thing scary about this movie is I wasted time watching it.

Of course you know it's not going to be a classic when your lead actor is a retired MMA fighter. Donald Cerrone is a bad actor and has no on screen charisma whatsoever. Watching his "I am Legend" routine is like watching a crackhead suffering from paranoid delusional schizophrenia episodses hide out in a cockroach infested motel room for an hour. Everything about this movie is crumby. It's a lame story with lame action and lame suspense and a lame plot. You could probably make a better movie with a bunch of your friends having a party in any roadside flea ridden desert motel room and using your own cell phone as a movie camera. This trash film is seriously that poorly made. 2 Stars for the Hilarious effort and a couple of chuckles, watching this dumpster fire of a video unfold into the abyss of Nothingness.

Non-actor Don Cerrone tries so hard to fill the shoes of the main character, you may actually find yourself rooting for him to pull it off - just to suspend the misery. Most of the film features Cerrone stomping around an apartment unit and mumbling to himself during a demonic invasion. He breaks some furniture, fights a couple of people in demon suits and hides in a trash bin. When you think this can't get any more absurd, he dons a sombrero and starts pasting duct tape across his window for protection, while threadbare sets waver and wobble. There's also a painfully mawkish love scene and a "surprise" ending. It's strangely watchable if you're in the right mood - half asleep perhaps - and can get into the groove, which is why I give this ***.