Thor et le marteau des dieux

They paid someone to make this movie? That is outrageous. There is nothing worth watching in this movie. The acting is horrible, the script is juvenile, the direction is spotty and the werewolves look like extras wearing big plastic masks. This is advertised as a Thor movie, but nothing in it even refers to the Thor of mythology or the Thor of comic book fame. It has all the elements of a POOR TV movie: a female lead who is not needed and just yells out the heroes name over and over, a fellow warrior who gets irate at the hero and turns to the bad side, dialog that is delivered like it was written for a daytime soap opera, costumes that look like they were stolen from an ancient opera and special effects that are gaudy. This movie is awful.

Oh… don't you just hate it when the concept reads refreshingly fun (Vikings battling werewolves) but the final product leaves a lot to be desired. Sadly this straight to TV sci-fi original production doesn't complements its idea, instead we get a very low-rent, quite bland and terribly daft (but not in cheesy way) production that simply feels like its going through the motions with little in the way of excitement and conviction. To cement it just listen to the vapidly clunky script and stilted performances (with Zachery Ty Bryan best known for the TV series "Home Improvement" heading the cast)… although the acting to a certain degree can only be as good as the material allows them to be. Instead I rather just watch 1999 Viking actioner "The 13th Warrior" again… at least that entry wasn't gutless.

It does take a while to get going with squabbling dramas and well-worn clichés hitting the fold, as they do go on and on talking / arguing in many meandering passages, before finally breaking out an injection of blood splattering, if clumsily forced combat. Quite little and without the bite though. The CGI is poorly conceived in that unconvincing video game imagery and the make-up effects (or better put masks) fair no better, but definitely more preferable. The way the camera shoots the werewolves is that there are never any clear shots, especially during the choppy action and the one and only transformation scene is lazily done. The hazy locations are well pitched, however they're clearly set-designs during the night sequences and the atmosphere is virtually non-existent.

I found "Hammer of the Gods" to be a drearily forgettable action fare.

This movie is simply awful. Wooden "acting?" lame action scenes, cheap plastic Armor and weapons. What makes it even worse by comparison is "The 13th Warrior" is running at the same time on another channel. The Vampire angle just does not work, at least, in this Viking movie. Indeed the characters themselves as acted do not come across as credible Norsemen. The sword fights look like they where choreographed by a person who learned sword fighting by watching He-Man Master of the Universe cartoons. Zachery Ty Bryan who was to be Thor always looked like a deer staring into a set of headlights at night. Zac' I would suggest better acting classes. Indeed it would be a total waste of hard drive space if you illegally down loaded it off the internet for free. It is not as bad as "Plan 9 From Outer Space", or "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" but not by much. This would be a good movie to show in order to get rid of unwanted company.

It's easy to see how an idea like this gets commissioned . Someone contacts a producer with a pitch of " It's all about vikings fighting werewolves " or in other words DOG SOLDIERS with swords . So we all agree that there's a good premise ? Good . So why does everyone hate it ?

Easy to explain - the budget for one thing , well maybe the everything is summed up by the budget which means no decent director can hire worthwhile actors , make up crew etc . , or more realistically the producer couldn't hire a decent director in the first place . Not to be too cruel though and that is the director tries to disguise his small budget by shooting action scenes in the dark or holding on an extreme close up of a viking as he fights off an unseen pack of werewolves . Good try Mr Director but it's painfully obvious there's only enough money for two werewolf costumes

The other major irritant is that the cast are to be blunt extremely amateurish . All of them seem to come from another country with differing accents . We even have a multi-ethnic company of vikings with a contrived and needless explanation for it . Looking on the bright side Paterson Joseph doesn't appear and the actor in question Daz Crawford looks like he's playing an anorexic Mike Tyson with a Lancashire accent

I will be charitable and say the cast are not helped one bit by the dialogue . It really is heavy handed , stilted and bombastic . There's no camp value involved and you get the feeling it was written for the Royal Shakespeare Company . Unfortunately Will Shakespeare hadn't thought of adding monsters to any of his more turgid dramas and watching this film you may understand why

I have to confess that Norse mythology is not my field of expertise, but this story is supposed to be how Thor attained Deity status by using his hammer to slay one nasty wolf. The hero of the Hammer Of The Gods is played by Tim Allen's oldest son from Home Improvement, Zachery Ty Bryan who has filled out rather nicely and looks every inch the part of a Norse hero.

Bryan has sailed with his two brothers, several other Vikings even some of their women way up north where the gods live. They do find some very powerful creatures there, Norse werewolf types who walk on their hind legs and have a wolf god whom they serve. The Vikings have a lot of rivalries between themselves and it doesn't make for good unity at a time of danger.

Even the three brothers fall out. Baldur (Mac Brandt) is killed early on and the youngest Bryan has to face the older one Daz Crawford who's gone over to the enemy. Crawford might be the oldest, but he's illegitimate and out of succession. That would give me a bad attitude I can tell you.

Watching the Vikings behave with their talk of glory, dying and Valhalla it was like watching Star Trek The Next Generation or Deep Space Nine in an episode with Worf talking about glory and honor. The Klingons were certainly based on the Vikings and this film could have been an extended episode of one of the Roddenberry series.

Hammer Of The Gods is all right, I'll leave it to those who know Norse culture to comment on the veracity and integrity of the story.