Top Gear Australia

Tonight on SBS saw the debut of the local version of the hit U.K motor show Top Gear.

I'm a big fan of Top Gear. I love the antics of Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May oh I should mention The Stig as well. I love the fun segments and especially and this is the key here I love the sense of humor of the show. You see the main reason the UK Top Gear is so popular is because of the personalties and the wit of the hosts.

Top Gear Australia has none of that. The hosts of TGA (Charlie Cox, Warren Brown & Steve Pizzati) have no charisma and have the sense of humor of a office manager. Plus they trying too hard to be like Clarkson, Hammond and May with embarrassing results. SBS has put a lot of money into this show and left out the main ingredient on what made the UK version popular. I knew they would do this. I just knew that some suit at the network said 'Hey that car show is popular lets make our own version. It will be great cause it has Aussie cars and content and we will measure in Kilowatts' without sitting down to watch the original.

The U.S have done the right thing and have the UK crew film exclusive content just for them (With a lot of fat jokes I'm guessing). What SBS has done have taken a show and lot of people liked and what they have done is made a piece of junk that no one really asked for in the first place. A disaster.

I can imagine Jeremy Clarkson seeing this show and making fun of it in the latest season of the UK Top Gear (To air in Australia sometime in 2022) A huge thumbs down.

Gad, what an abomination. They hold an open casting call, creating the impression they're actually looking for good presenters, and instead they overlook all presenting ability and go for 3 dreary motoring columnists with all the wit and charm of Peter Lorre and all the dashing good looks of George Formby. Where was the humour? All we got was three ill-at-ease middle aged twits with no personality hooning around on some sand dunes, pretending to enjoy themselves and guffawing hysterically at every whimsical comment. How about Charlie explaining the technical details of a car's transmission by doodling a diagram in the dirt? I mean really, does your average Top Gear fan give a Peter Luck how the car works? And what exactly was the point of the shark stunt, and what did it have to do with cars?? About the only joke I can recall from the entire show was some nauseatingly unfunny quip about Victoria Police "busting a cap in someone's ass", which was followed by a round of self-congratulation and an appeal to the bemused audience for applause. Oh and of course there was the obligatory attempt to imitate some of Clarkson's outspokenness, by taking a cheap and unfunny shot at the government over their luxury car tax.

Maybe if they'd tried to do something a bit different, rather than just imitating all the personality traits of the original hosts, it might not have looked so bad. As it is, they look like really bad Cliff Richard impersonators in an Elvis impersonator's competition. The bloke who plays Richard Hammond, Steve Pizzati, got on my nerves too. I can only imagine how grating that whiny soprano and irritating cackle will be by the end of the series.

I was actually considering auditioning for the James May role when they had the casting call, but I wouldn't have gotten it as I'm way too funny.

I'm sure the BBC execs are sharpening their axe as I type. It's rather amusing that the only original segment was titled What Were They Thinking, as it summed up my reaction to the BBC's decision to commission this steaming pile.

When I saw there was a new Top Gear Australia with all new hosts I had high hopes but sadly I was let down immediately!

The new hosts unfortunately are little improvement over their former collegues with all of the same problems.

Firstly there is no chemistry between the three of them. Their banter is that of uninformed drunk idiots at a party. Throwing our random comments of little intellignce that just dont gel with one another, they dont inform and they certainly dont entertain.

I only kept watching because i wanted to see the latest cars and innovations but the cast dont seem to know anything about cars or even how to drive them well!

I found myself fast forwarding a lot or turning the sound off so I didn't have to listen to their crap commentary.

I'm going back to rewatch the 3 original british boys weave their magic. Their re-runs certainly beat this rubbish.

The original UK Topgear took a bit of time to find its feet, the first season was very little like it would later become. In season 2 they dumped the big guy who did the used car prices bit, (few even remember him) over a couple of seasons it evolved, the last few seasons (with the original hosts) continued to evolve. Till the BBC killed the golden goose, firing Clarkson led to the other two hosts leaving as well as the producer/creator. The UK version floundered after that with a string of hosts trying to keep it alive. There where also German, French, Italian, Chinese, Korean, Russian and American versions most, only lasting a season or two with the American version lasting longer than most, but still just a pale copy of the original.

The Australian version floundered from the start, a couple of seasons on SBS Australia, replacing most of the cast each season, then channel 9 had a go but despite putting in a lot more money even importing the UK hosts for the pilot with just 4 episodes in that first season, 9's second season was just 6 episodes, then they cancelled it.

Then a 12 year gap to the current version, now on it's 3rd host (Paramount+), coming out the same year as the BBC finally cancelled the original version, this new version is just the same tired old copy of what the original was doing at it's peak well over a decade ago, now in fact it's also going to air on free to air network 10, which will come as great news to anyone who actually paid to see it on Paramount+. With the ending of the Grand Tour (also really just Topgear) this year, the Australian version is now the last version of the show, and sadly doesn't look like it will last long either. With the drastic changes coming to the car industry over the next few years, you would think someone could come up with an original idea for a car show.

After just having watched the inaugural episode of Top Gear Australia I must say: It wasn't bad.....for a start. However, it could have been MUCH better: And here's why.

First Point: Why not start with the comparison between the FPV F6 and the HSV GTS (I think it was the GTS) and BLOW us all away??? Ohhhhhh what an opener that could have been!!!!!! And oh what a letdown it was settling for a soft roader comparison instead (I know these cars are popular with us Australians, but so are our TITANIC battles between Ford and Holden)!!!! I feel slightly ripped off having had SBS play scenes from the F6-GTS comparison only to have Cox announce 'what you've all been waiting for' will appear next week (And yes you can bet I'll be watching next week).

Second point: The comparison between the soft roaders....was it a comparison or just 3 dudes having a play? There was no discussion at the end of the comparison between the three hosts as to which car won the day....even if the hosts do end up disagreeing at the end it's still nice to know.

Third Point: The Franchise. Yes Top Gear is borrowed from the UK version, and it needs to follow a certain formula. But there is no way in hell that Charlie Cox, Warren Brown, and Steve Pizzati can be expected to manufacture the sheer charisma that their Top Gear opposites in the UK have. They need to be left alone to create something of their own. Jeremy Clarkson, James May, and Richard Hammond have this truly wonderful-to-watch magic style of their own that should not be attempted to be replicated as I saw in Top Gear Aus: Just won't work, the Aussie hosts will just end up looking like clunky fools, and the show will be ridiculed. Charlie Cox should not be billed as Australia's version of Jeremy Clarkson, there can only be one Clarkson. Warren Brown should not be billed as Australia's version of James May, there can only be one May. And Steve Pizzati...I didn't get the feeling the show was trying to manipulate him into being an Aussie Richard Hammond as much as the other two were. I had the fortunate opportunity to see Warren Brown compete in a Peking to Paris drive, recreating a trek that was made at the turn of the 20th century. He was brilliant in that, so I suspect that if allowed, these Australian hosts are capable of coming up with a magic of their own.

Forth point: The test track. The camera angles were bad, I didn't get a feel for how the cars were responding to the turns or get a feeling for just how quick they were racing around the track (The Skyline didn't look as quick as it so obviously was), the track didn't seem long enough, and it all seemed like a bit of a blur.

Fifth point: Weren't you lot hamming it up a bit with the chop up and pasting of footage when you dipped Brown into the sea with those sharks? It was crap! That entire part of the show wasn't as scary as it could have been. I think it's fair to say.....you lot made a meal outta that one :P

Conclusion: Top Gear Australia has a lot of work to be done to it to get it rolling smoothly, mainly camera work on moving car footage around that track, the track itself should be slightly longer, hosts need to be left to develop a personality of their own, but all in all, it passed..only just!