Journey to the Center of the Earth

A kind of transporter beam has been invented, and for a test run, a team of 6 female soldiers is sent from California to Stuttgart, Germany, which means they are beamed through the earth. They get stuck in a jungle with dinosaurs and realise this is most likely not Germany, but a lost world hundreds of miles below the surface. How can they ever be rescued from down there? But fortunately the sister of one of the soldiers just invented a laser drilling vehicle that can move below ground. What a lucky coincidence. Now there's just lots of monsters to run from. Will all members of the team survive the "Journey to the Centre of the Earth"?

Minimal budget flick that tried to profit from the blockbuster movie with the same title released around the same time. One example of the budget limitations: the area for the transporter beam is marked by a few stripes on the floor. That makes "The Time Tunnel" (1966 TV show) with its rotating opening look impressive by comparison. And of course nothing makes any sense, beginning with the equipment: why would they send soldiers with machine guns to Stuttgart, did they expect a riot? The opening titles are listing only 2 actors who are in this movie, I don't think I have seen such a lack of names anywhere before. Then again, there are reasons to remain anonymous here. I voted 3 of 10 because it has a few moments at least.

Some reviewers felt this mess was fun. Jeez. Their taste is in their mouth. This bore about boring to the center of the earth must have had Jules Verne spinning wildly in his grave. I found it at Wal-Mart and would love to get my $5 back. It is doubled with 100 Million BC, also with Greg Evigan. I enjoyed some of the '50s-60s schlock. They were fun. This was a ripoff. Less than 5 minutes of looking at a sick dinosaur with vocal cords, and a few minutes of a spider with gland problems, both phonier than Ma Bell. One more thing, the music was an outright steal from Phillip Glass. Action? None. It was talk-talk-talk, and stupid talk-talk-talk at that. The picture on the box has this really mean looking dinosaur. Evidently, he was cut out of the movie. Fred Flintstone's Dino was far more convincing. It is advertised as a Maximum Movie Experience. They should be sued for false advertising. The girls were good looking and a couple of them could be classified as actresses. Appearing in this piece of junk is no way to further a career. Does Michelle have any words of advice for her sister --- like----keep away from this tripe? You get the picture. Don't get this picture.

I don't usually post... but had to on this one. I'm guessing the marketing pitch went something like this, "Okay... we release this piece of roughly cobbled together footage from the cut-room floor from an old sci-fi flick that was killed for good reason 20 years ago at the exact same time as Brenden Frazier's 'Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3-D', call it by the exact same name and hope nobody notices. Who wants in?!" My wife kept jokingly asking, "Is this a 'Sweded' version of a 'real' movie?" (see "Be Kind, Rewind" for concept of "Sweding"). Honestly. An all female combat unit who is neither on a combat mission nor behave like soldiers. Poor whip-cams and badly edited cut scenes. Special "ship effects" that have repeat-cells (remember Scooby-Doo cartoons? Remember how the background kept "repeating" when the gang would run down a hallway). Horrific dialogue, audio mixing (it was like watching old Kung-Fu movies... lip flaps don't match the dialogue... crap, the Japanese Anime we watch does a better job than THIS movie did!), acting, direction, photography...honestly, the only thing even remotely redeeming was the lame attempt to give Homage to Aliens (pirated dialogue "Hey... you look just like i feel...", an easily identifiable "Hudson", and even a gratuitous "chest bursting" concept), which would have been mildly funny if it wasn't attempting to take itself seriously.

I was sick in bed and needed something to watch. This made me sicker.

Some of the very worst acting and script I have ever seen. Your time would be better spent watching paint dry.

The plot makes no sense.

The special effects were the least special I have ever seen.

This is a waste of my time writing this review, but I have to write enough to save some other poor sole from having to endure the fiasco of a movie.

It starts with an all girl team of soldiers with no explanation of why there are no men. I suspect it was hard finding men to appear in this movie. One of the girls thinks they will not be taken seriously by people at the destination if they are not in full battle gear. This is the only line in the movie that makes sense.

Oh. My. Gosh. This is one embarrassment of a movie. The dialog, the acting, the special effects and props. Bad bad bad.

I would love to know the back story about getting it released. What were they thinking? Maybe someone needed a tax write off. I can't imagine any other reason that it made it past two days of production, and certainly not to release..

When I saw them using a vegetable steamer as a prop radio antenna, I was so amused I added another star, just for the hilarious factor. Oh, and this movie subscribes to the theory that glasses mean you are SMART (even if they are prop glasses with no corrections).

Be sure to read the reviews, which are much more entertaining than the movie. Maybe watch this with friends and do your own Mystery Science Theater 3000 thing. A few margaritas won't hurt. Steam some veggies.