Alive or Dead

Congrats alive or dead, you are tied for the worst movie i have ever seen, and you are tied with "i know who killed me" with lindsay lohan. I don't even know where to begin, i am so so confused with this movie i have never watched a movie that made me feel this way so many things don't add up, i have seen better acting in a 2nd grade play The start sucked and middle and end was worse, there were so many different story lines going on in this movie its like they took 3 really bad movies and made a super mega meca bad movie i know you don't know who i am but please do me a favor and don't ever ever watch this movie don't let your kids watch it either because it will make them stupid and you don't want that.

I didn't have a lot of hope for this movie when I saw it was from Filmrise, and I feel I am correct. This movie has characters easy to dislike, doing stupid things, and a plot that makes no sense. Maria is driving down a rather deserted road, when she sees a bus on the side of the road. She stops, but when she starts to drive away, gets two flat tires. It was a trap, and on the bus was a young girl chained by the wrist. And it doesn't get much better from then on either. In fact, much later in the movie along comes a monk-like Howard, who gives a long narration that helps fill in some of the background. But by then, did one really care? And if that wasn't clear enough, still later is more background. By then one hoped the movie would be over. The movie is unpleasant, with some nasty bloody scenes.

I've seen a lot of bad flicks in my time. Glen or Glenda, Date Movie, everything Uwe Boll's done, but this one takes the cake. Terrible acting, virtually non-existent plot and the cheesiest special effects I've laid eyes on make this a title that no one should view. Ever.

Cannibals? Flesh-eating little boys? A character strangely reminiscent of Lord Voldemort?

This film is absolutely terrible, one for the garbage bin and not the DVD player. I'd rather watch golf and eat paint chips.

For anyone considering viewing this tremendous crock of film feces, I'd suggest you instead pick up a few Richard Simmons tapes, collect the neighborhood fatties and sweat to the oldies. You'll thank yourself later.

Maria (the particularly lovely Ann Henson decked out in very flattering tight fitting clothes) is trying to have some fun on the phone while driving down a dark road when she sees a seemingly abandoned bus on the side of the road with 'help me' written on it. She decides to investigate and soon finds a chained up and hooded girl begging for her life. The abductor comes back, so Maria quickly hides. Soon the girl duo find themselves at a secluded castle trying to figure out what's happening while being chased by a deranged hillbilly (and others but I won't give away the, admittedly silly, 'twist').

The movie is entertaining enough if you're an indiscriminate fan of slasher films, but not really all that horrifying in the least and only gets really picks up steam in the last half hour or so. The movie is also extremely generic and this plot has been seen a million times over (and mostly better) All in all a silly forgettable little horror flick worthy of a rental if you have nothing better to do.

My Grade: C-

alive or dead, horror/thriller: OK this is a B, it was always going to be a B but some B's are better than other B's, i think that's agreed. this was on the better side of the B's but unlike most of the rubbish B's i couldn't find a you tube trailer for it anywhere. i doubt very much you will find this in your video rental shop and if they give this space then they either have a warehouse tucked away in a time/space thing there or need to find a new buyer, fast; but lets not take anything away from the film itself. i borrowed it from a friend and, sure there were i's that weren't dotted and a lot of the t's went without crosses but what the hell do you expect for something you can't even find a trailer for?? the acting was OK in my opinion and everybody did the best with what they had so fair play to the independent film maker, coz he rules. if you see it in your local $ store or £ shop, buy it, it won't be the worst £/$ you've ever spent.