Bitch Slap

if it wasn't for face paint and implants, the three leads would be pumping mocha mixer into Java at an L.A. convenience store for tips.

and the screen writer should be making change for the same franchise.

unfortunately; pulp fiction, spawned a legion of foul-mouthed wannabee scribblers, and this script is a glowing, specious example of that diseased, copy-cat genre.

the one redeeming thing in this film is the cinematography. it is very well shot. the format is well used, and the d.p. understands that the secret to good visuals is good lighting--something often overlooked by d.p.'s who jumped rungs on the ladder and skipped the lighting department. because of this, i actually watched most of this feature, even beyond the five minutes it took me to become bored with having that much silicone rubbed in my face.

a modern Thelma and Louise it ain't.

An entertaining film. I about gave up on it a time or two, but I hung in there and it redeemed itself. Better than any Russ Meyer film I have seen, and maybe even a notch above Tarantino. Much effort went into this film especially by the three female leads, well chosen for their role. There were the boobs and blood and all-out raucous catfights. If Tarantino style turns you off, you may not like it, but if not I suggest you watch this one and watch it to the end. The plot twists and ending are worth it. And a worthwhile and revealing view of women which one of the female trio expressed as "We are all just bitches in the end". I like that and late in the film a quote from a several hundred B.C. Chinese text which begins "All warfare is based on deception . . .", a thoughtful commentary giving a certain meaning to the film and raising it above the usual grindhouse fare for those paying attention to more than just the action.

Since ratings and reviews of "Bitch Slap" are apparently dependent on just how much or how little one enjoys this sort of thing, what this viewer must say right up front is that he tends towards the former camp. The problem there is that while it is enjoyable enough, it's not entirely satisfying. Yeah, it does come across as a wish fulfilment fantasy for horny guys everywhere, and is basically silly, over the top, attitude driven, highly stylized (perhaps TOO stylized), violent, leering exploitation fare meant to be an ode to the kind of tough movie gals whom we see in clips during the opening credits. But, unfortunately, it doesn't really go far enough; it's likely not depraved enough or just not exploitative enough to suit some of its audience (For one thing, while there is sex, there just ain't that much nudity, folks.). The story, such as it is, features three stunning young ladies united in their scheme to get their hands on some jewels being held by an underworld figure. They often spend as much time fighting with each other as they do working towards their goal. The review written by one of my associates at this web site is right on the money when describing this movie as an almost 110 minute long cat fight. The ladies are also, commendably enough, shot from lots of fetishistic angles and it does indeed seem as if the filmmakers would rather focus exclusively on the breasts of the actresses instead of their faces. The dialogue is often hilarious yet has an obvious self-conscious air about it; the writers are trying too hard to come up with what they clearly believe to be instantly quotable raunchy lines. It also takes a cue from "Pulp Fiction" as it constantly moves back and forth in time in order to create a series of events that the viewer has to put in the right order to understand just where all of these characters are coming from. The soundtrack is loud, and so is the volume on a lot of the performers. One of the big twists in the end is probably something most people could figure out. The actors, while not necessarily all "good", are fun. Erin Cummings is Hel, the "smart" one / mastermind, America Olivo (chewing the scenery and then throwing it up again) the pill popping wildcat Camero, and Julia Voth is Trixie, the "nice" one. Cameos include TV stars Kevin Sorbo, Lucy Lawless, Renee O'Connor, and Michael Hurst, as well as stunt coordinator Zoe Bell who'd shot to fame in Tarantino's "Death Proof". At the least, "Bitch Slap" does have enough crazy energy to keep it from ever getting what I would consider boring. It does have its moments. Six out of 10.

What, you say? You didn't know Robocop was a satire? Hmm, then you might want to skip Beyotch Slap (note: thanks, IMDb's profanity filter). Much in the tradition of the brilliant cinematic satirist Paul Veerhoven who did Robocop and Starship Troopers, Beyotch Slap is a cheeky, sarcastic jab at the hyper violence genre with a poignant message just below the surface.

The story unfolds in a teasing, non-linear way, beginning with an apocalyptic aftermath and then jumping back a few hours where most of the story takes place but frequent jumps to the weeks and months prior. That is, nothing is spelled out, and it's almost 3/4 through the movie before you realize why these 3 buxom babes are out in the middle of the desert with dead bodies piling up.

Beyond the twisty mystery, racy plot, witty dialogue ("Lick my love pump!"), cool action scenes, great cat fights (complete with a screeching cat sound effect or two when one of the ladies happens to get punched in the fun bun), what really makes this film is the fantastic dynamic between the 3 very different personalities of our protagonists and the excellent way each of the 3 leading ladies brings her character to life. There is the leader "Hel" who is the brains of the bunch, "Camaro" who is the muscle as well as sheer psycho element, and then there's "Trix" who is the ditzy tagalong who, despite being a sultry hot stripper, has the air of being someone who still believes in the Easter bunny.

Throw the 3 together along with a couple of awesome criminal characters, a few buckets of blood, a bunch of unapologetically gratuitous cleavage shots and a slow motion water fight, and of course the aforementioned biting satire of every chixploitation flick from the 70s, and you've got one bona fide cinematic work of art. I'm not even being sarcastic when I say that. If you grasp the tongue in cheek nature of this film, you'll find yourself very impressed and thoroughly satisfied at this gem of a movie.

I'm shocked that IMDb has rated this so low (4.5 as of the time I'm writing this), and my only guess is that the people rating this movie so low are the same people who think Spinal Tap is a real band.

Starts off like a cheap porn movie, but turns out as quite a good action movie, Tarantino style. Lots of blood and violence. A lot of nice (mean but also in a good way) and nude girls. A story that rather falls in the background by what you get to see. Funny special effects that are not all that bad and fit the movie quite well. Lots of nice girls. Cat fights among hot girls. More girls, and yeah well, naked girls. This movie lives up to its title "bitch slap" rules this movie. And it has got Hercules, Kevin Sorbo in it. All in all if you are bored and got 1 1/2 hours to kill, give this movie a go but don't expect an A movie, more of a good B movie.