Ouija Hosts

OUIJA HOSTS is an absolute trainwreck of a film where nothing exciting, shocking, nor suspenseful happens as director/co-writer/co-star/co-producer Steven M. Smith (DEAD AGAIN, SCARE ATTRACTION, THE HOWLING) fails upon installing anything to stir up the viewers' interest, unless they yearn to see actors and actresses standing around in corners of the living room for 90 minutes without any type--Any Type--of action happening in sight as it only makes OUIJA HOSTS an easily disposable film that is clearly worth skipping. Fake ass hosts of a fake ass British TV show stay in a fake ass haunted mansion. End result = Narrated weak fake ass shot-on-a-phone piss-poor dirge. Go see GHOSTWATCH (1992) instead.

The time I wasted on this I can't believe it *The Characters are weak *The story is old and boring.

*The director did a bad job *The camera angle is very bad some time you can see something block the view *The Camera man keep shakeing *Back to the camera angle some times the actors are not shown in the camera view *The voice director did a very bad job some time the voice is very low and on the other is very loud!!!!

*The Actress (Chelsea Greenwood) She spaced a lot like she can't recall the script and she is very cold she can't react in time *The acters keeps laughing for no reason ----------- And all that in the first 28 minute of the film.

This movie starts off slow then puts on the brakes to slow down even further. Nothing happens, ever. I don't really know how this is a horror. I mean the nothing is annoying, it's some "paranormal" investigator saying over and over "Are there any spirits here?" And, "I'm sorry I invaded your space." Meaningless drivel that just slowed the thing down to a crawl. Better to miss this one. Now IMDb has gone insane and requires 600 words for review to be.posted so I am writing my complaint about the ridiculous minimum word count. It is stupid but I expect nothing less from the assh0ole oligarch that owns this site.

So I've watched an awful lot of the recent glut of cheap British horror movies. They range from fun and relatively entertaining (Think the Asylum but with English accents) to dire in every way. Unfortunately Ouija Hosts is very much into the dire category.

The set up of ghost hunters in a haunted house for a TV show has been done to death but this was bad even for that sub genre.

The location is totally not scary and the use of light, direction and script are terrible.

A lot of it feels unscripted and as if the actors are making up their lines as they go along.

The narrator is annoying and detracts from any distant hope of atmosphere.

I noticed one reviewer picked Chelsea Greenwood out for specific criticism which I thought was a bit unfair as the other actors were way worse. I thought she looked invested in the character unlike the others who seem to be messing about and as far as her delivery her facial expressions and mannerisms were good and possibly her delivery seemed delayed because of her Yorkshire accent.

But in all honesty I couldn't recommend this movie to anyone for any reason (Sorry Chelsea) you'd do better watching a chair or shutting your head repeatedly in a door.

• 1 star for making this film in the first place

+ 1 star because I love Chelsea Greenwood's accent.

If you like the Paranormal Activity movies, you will probably enjoy this. Personally, I think they're a snooze-fest. Boring, with a capital BORE.

The movie follows a group of paranormal "investigators" looking for ghosts in an abandoned mansion in England. It's about as boring as you would expect that activity to be. And... just like the "Paranormal Activity" movies, the only "interesting" bits - if you can call anything about this movie "interesting" - happens in the last five to ten minutes. I swear, the director / writer must have seen "Paranormal Activity" and said.. "oh, yeah? Here.. hold my beer."

The actors where.. meh. Jenny is the only one who I think could MAYBE make it as an actress, but Sara... Good Lord, that woman's voice is annoying!