Dungeon Girl

What a relief! I watched this on fear.net, so it was free.

I echo the sentiments of virtually every reviewer. This movie promised to be interesting by pretending to be based on the real case in Germany where the man held his daughter captive, molesting and even impregnating her multiple times.

This movie has NOTHING like the news story.

Long story, short....nothing happens in this movie. Yes, the guy kidnaps a girl and keeps her in his "house"? Apart from the rather mundane activities like cooking, playing guitar and reading a bible...there is no activities that contribute to the "plot"!!?? Annoying narration that explains nothing of the motivations by the protagonists. This makes Eraserhead look transparent! An absolute mess! It is incomprehensible how this ever got made or distributed.

I've seen my share of crummy movies, but this is by far the worst ever! From the horrible acting, to the crummy plot, to the strange soundtrack... The entire film makes YOU want to go hide in a dungeon, it would be more entertaining than watching this movie. If you watch a movie about someone being kidnapped for six years, you expect something more than the guy feeding her chocolate and looking at her through a hole in the wall. Although it sounds morbid, where was the molestation or the mind games? I could not tell if this was a story about Stockholm syndrome or what. All in all, I'm still upset I wasted money buying such a horrible movie.

...was what we thought. Unfortunately, we checked IMDb after my wife and I paid for this movie on pay-per-view and started watching it.

Well, we found out how you could all be so negative.

I, although not so much my wife, enjoy "bad" movies sometimes - for example, "bad" science fiction movies with laughable plots, laughable monsters/villains/viruses/aliens/etc - I believe they are bad on purpose to make them enjoyably laughable.

But this disaster has nothing to laugh about. The only joy you will realize is either when you turn it off or when it is mercifully over.

Do not waste your time.

From Ulli Lommel, the director who has mastered neither porn nor narrative, comes this fusion of the worst of both genres. The mindlessness of porn and the jarring, non-resolution of clumsy narrative are combined in this "to be missed at all costs" disaster of a film. Ever wonder what Hollywood means when they say "Based upon actual events"? That's just their way of saying "Once upon a time". In other words, the tale spun so maladroitly in this film has little in common with the real story. The director seems to have a prurient fascination with the fact that the actual young woman became a "media darling" after her ordeal. My impression of Lommel....hmmm...DaFoe's portrayal of a director in the comedic 2007 Rowan Atkinson film comes pretty close.

I loved Ulli Lommel's early eighties horror films The Boogeyman and The Devonsville Terror. They were great and Tenderness Of The Wolves was at least a real movie with a plot.

This new spate of work is the absolute pits. Remembering the good times, I keep coming back for more punishment, lured by the lurid box art and the promise of explicit content. I keep thinking that maybe the next movie will be better but they only get worse.

Dungeon Girl is the worst one yet. Absolute in its despicable worthlessness, it wallows in its own boredom. Nearly the whole film takes place in a small house where the two characters look at each other and do almost nothing.

I know that there are lovers of bad movies out there that read the horrible reviews and want to see something based on what they read. I must warn you that this isn't one of those movies that are so bad they're good, unless you want very badly to see a middle aged man masturbate. This really is so bad it's awful! I don't say the word unwatchable very often.

You'll probably not listen.