Massacre à la tronçonneuse

David Blue Garcia's 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' looks cheap, sounds cheap, and thinks cheap. The script is busy and unconvincing, with the attempts at "social commentary" are laughable and much of the acting is lousy. Everyone involved should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves. It is nice and mildly satisfying seeing insultingly stupid characters get ragdolled around though.

Everything you want in a Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie: School shootings, cancel culture, racism, white guilt, social media, Jamie Lee Curtis V. 2.0, Gentrification.

Imagine the worst type of writers, working with the worst kind of producers, hiring the worst possible actors for the worst possible type of film. That's what this is.

A geriatric lumberjack carves up a bunch of annoying internet influencers. Parts of it are outright laughable in how stupid the characters are behaving. I would normally root for the villain but not even this Leatherface deserves that.

Want to have a better time? Count the number of times the letter 'v' appears in the end credits.

Oh and as if I needed more proof that self-driving cars are dumb.

Having been sheltered for half a century, Leatherface is back to cause more mayhem.

What can you say, I waited ages to see this film, I had really high expectations, kind of like those I had for Halloween 2018, only that was good, this certainly wasn't.

I'll start off with the positives, visually it's superb, beautifully shot, with some great location work, and some impressive scenes, I liked the music also, it wasn't overly done.

Sadly the positives are few and far between, if you watch the original, and followed it up with this, you'll see what a pale imitation this is.

On the downside, firstly, some of the acting isn't up to scratch, at times it had the made for TV feel about it, it perhaps doesn't feel deserving of the title.

The characters are just awful, Leatherface just seems so out of sorts, and as for the crows of youngsters seeking a better life, they're all just loathsome, none of them have any redeeming features. That scene where they all pull out their phones.... I know what I thought.

Fortunately it's not a long film, at just over ninety minutes.

Had the potential to be a good watch, it wasn't, 4/10.

Whenever I watch a Texas Chainsaw Massacre sequel, I realize what makes the original 1974 film so iconic. This 2022 sequel is also a completely forgettable one, ideally made for instant consumption with not much to read into. The script is a bland mess - there's zero depth to any of the characters, including Leatherface himself. It doesn't even bother to show that Leatherface has been living in hiding all these years because he pops up exactly when you expect him to, unlike in the original where you gasp for a few moments. If you haven't watched the original, it will simply seem like a big, bulky guy randomly going on the run with a chainsaw in hand, chopping people. In my eyes, there's no Leatherface without the Sawyer family.

Where it does score a little is in the gore department. Some kills end up being a lot bloodier than you might think. But the payoff is so little I couldn't care less for any of the characters or the surface-level social commentary it offers. The bus scene is a gory delight, serving up a couple of minutes of good, old-fashioned slice & dice. The Sally Hardesty subplot is a replica of what they tried to do with Laurie Strode in the Halloween sequels, sans any texture. I loved Elsie Fisher in Eighth Grade, but this film doesn't even attempt to get anything out of her. The atmosphere too, didn't evoke Texas enough. I'm not exactly interested in another sequel to this, but I'd still watch it because of its connection to the original.