Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet

Long Island, NY, 1978: little Mary chops up her parents with an axe.

Eleven years later, and Mary, now a big breasted babe residing at Kings Park Psychiatric Centre, is raped by a night guard, resulting in the birth of a daughter nine months later. However, Mary is informed that her child died during delivery and, shortly after, she escapes leaving a trail of corpses behind her. Completely naked, covered in blood, and clutching a severed head, Mary is finally apprehended by the police, who shoot her dead.

Years later, the story of Mary Hatchet has become an local legend, the day of her death a public holiday during which teenagers get drunk and play pranks. But when a group of high school students go one step further and summon Mary's spirit with a Ouija board, Blood Night really lives up to its name...

Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet was never intended to be anything but a mindless gore-fest with some quality T&A, and to that end it succeeds brilliantly, but it would have been nice to have seen just a little more effort go into the story. Had the makers tried a tad harder in the plot department, then this film might possibly have become an instant all-time favourite, rather than simply 'fun while it lasts'.

Still, 'fun while it lasts' is better than no fun at all, and at least this one fulfilled my immediate desire to see a bunch of good looking teens getting it on before being slaughtered in a variety of very gruesome ways. After quite a bit of partying hard and a bit of slap and tickle—best moments: a discussion about whether thongs are better than boyshorts, and a lucky guy getting broken in by total hottie Jen (Maryam Basir)—the graphic bloodletting begins and continues unabated until the final frame. Gory delights include a bloke having his head cut in half during sex, a girl having her guts wound out with a pick-axe, and a face being sliced in half (the victim's brains spilling onto the floor).

6.5 out of 10, generously rounded up to 7 for all the boobs, buns and blood.

Just caught this at a special screening in NYC. I was excited to be a part of this very intimate show. This film had all the makings of an effective boiler-plate horror flick: Ghosts, murderous town history, sex, insane asylums... How could it possibly go wrong, right?

Well, for starters it was terminally boring and terribly executed. Amateur is a perfect adjective to describe it. There are ZERO scares or even minor cheap thrills. The direction sucked out any life this movie could have had. Danielle Harris should fire her agent.

Honestly, I really really wanted to like this movie - but it offered nothing.

The gore was awfully phony. No direct contact shots, only reactions by bored and untalented actors followed by shots of prop heads being cut in half. Again, amateur.

Ugh, and the score... I'm speechless.

I can even forgive a lot of this if only there was something, anything to grab onto. Unfortunately there was nothing of value in what seemed like the longest 90 minutes ever. Too bad.

Quick note: Where does a girl raised in an insane asylum get fake breasts? (HA!!)

A group of teenagers celebrating the anniversary of the death of a local axe murderer suddenly find themselves face to face with the realities of this haunting urban legend.

On Bill Moseley as Graveyard Gus (an homage to Crazy Ralph) -- a bit campy, but still appreciated. I am no fan of Moseley because of a personal reason, so I may be biased. Either way, this is not his best performance. Danielle Harris is incredible here, and I wonder how much longer she can play the college girl (she is in her 30s). But if you got it, flaunt it!

The whole film seems to be a love letter to earlier horror films: the song ("Party Time") that is a clear homage to "Return of the Living Dead", the watching of "Killer Tomatoes". It never really adds up to a great film, though, preferring to try to replace plot and action with sensuality.

Some of the gore is decent, but overall there is nothing here for horror fans. And non-fans would be wasting their time even more.

There's really not much that needs to be said about this. If you've watched the Hatchet flicks, this is more of the same. If you expect to find ANY of the following, then you're in the WRONG place:

• well developed story
• Oscar caliber acting
• prophetic story telling and plot
• likeable & defined characters

Now...on the other hand, if you are looking for any of THESE, you're in the RIGHT place:

• schlocky indie horror,
• "teenage" nudity and gratuitous sex that has nothing to do with the story,
• "teenage" kids making asinine decisions, like going outside alone to check on why the lights just went out, or following a trail of blood (alone) while freaked out, or...well, you get the picture,
• tons of blood and gore via adequate fx,
• Bill Moseley,
• the cute-as-a-button Danielle Harris,
• 80ish minutes of completely mindless killing.

So come on folks. Stop giving this film bad reviews. 'Cause if you actually come in to this expecting more than it is, you should be the one receiving the bad review.

An honest review. As far as gore is concerned, pretty much every gag is a shot of blood spattering the wall (or something else), followed by dummy work. Often, the most basic moments misfire. There's a "door flying off the hinges" gag that is so poorly done I watched it a few times in slow motion to see if I missed something.

The performances are pretty bad. Bill Moseley is stuck reciting dialogue that Bruce Lee couldn't jiu-jitsu into something resembling human speech, and Danielle Harris seems genuinely bored to be in the picture. And we spend way too much time with the (not particularly interesting) characters. The entire second act is a trite, bloodless party scene (save for a corny flashback).

Kind of garden variety if you ask me. If you like bad movies, you may find some novelty. But it's certainly not one of the better slashers.

• Saintthomas1985 (check out all my reviews!!!)