Nobody Loves You and You Don't Deserve to Exist

This movie was sent to me by a kindly stranger 3000 milies all the way in England. That is has so few letterboxd notes due to what I can only assume is a criminal lack of availability it's a shame because it was one of the most humane depictions of life I've ever seen on film, transcending all taboos and conventional filmmaking. (Going for a more experimental, maybe even tamed anarchy filming approach) that delivers a strong meloncolic but also somewhat courageous. What I noticed in the cinematography and my understanding of some of the dialogue was that the script of the film is taken from and heavily inspired by the Russian works of authors such as Dostoevsky, Chekov and Goncharov, with standout influences here being; Crimes and Punishment, A Nervous Breakdown, Notes from Underground and Oblomov to list just a few. First, similar to these works, this movie emphasized to me that people's actions and intentions can be the result of very complex and often deeply hidden thoughts, experiences, beliefs and feelings.

Both the main character of the film and the audience undergo an examination of conscience. As a practicing Muslim, I am familiar with this concept through the application of Islamic Muhasaba, but after reviewing it and comparing it to Crime and Punishment, I was left with a new understanding of how we sin, why we sin, and the consequences. I had to watch this twice to get to terms with this, as on the surface one can easily be lost in the layers this film has to offer, but Jack's dealing what I see as a deeply spiritual and psychological crisis (that those around him can't understand) makes for a more interesting approach to character study, that instead of building up his own values he sees glory lost and like an anti-message on Henry Vaughan's 'The Retreat' or Wordsworth's Immortality Ode, he seeks to transcend his own image to something abstract and beyond the negative experience of society.

The way this movie reintroduced me to English culture is what intrigued me the most, and in light of the European literature I've read over the years, I can say that presents a new fascination on multiple levels that communicates a 'New England', a weeping and tortured England, a land of high poverty , low art. I was so captivated on so many levels; The language they spoke to me seemed even foreign compared to the generally depilated language or my unconscious prejudices about the English character. How can I interpret what these conservatives are doing to subjugate based on what I see on the screen? Are there other people at this level? For others, this can lead to fantastic experiences in this distinctive genre of English filmmaking.

I must also mention that the filmmaker who offered me the chance to see this film exuded an infectious and fervent excitement, the likes of which I have never before encountered, with no sales or profit motives, but a want to share and connect with others.

Cinematography, with its lyrical soundtrack, gave each inanimate element the allure of a national icon and gave each shot a sense of urgency and resting beauty. The movie has the feel of something that will grow in importance over time; perhaps twenty years from now people will appreciate it for its hidden beauty and the lessons it contains; For now, I'm just grateful to be one of the lucky few who saw it.

When you look closely at Hieronymus Bosch's works, you'll see a slew of tiny, tucked-away micro-portraits. Religious allusions, eroticized violence, and references to heaven and hell are only some of the elements that made Bosch's art such a bizarre tapestry of sin and transcendence.

Why, you might wonder, am I referring to a 16th-century Dutch artist in the context of a film review? The explanation is simple: 'Nobody Loves You and You Don't Deserve to Exist' is a complicated code of enigmatic imagery that illuminates a link between conservative Britain and the late-medieval currents of heaven and hell.

This bold assertion is reinforced from the outset by a horrific, yet elegantly delicate medieval composition that walks us as the spectator through each micro-portrait of Bosch's "The Garden of Earthly Delights." The storyline of this film is found in the geography of medieval music. Given the prevalence of travel, pilgrimage, exile, peregrinations, and the like throughout this time, "Jack," the working-class jester disturbed by the mind of a tortured saint, is no exception. In a similar vein to Barry Unsworth or Emilio de' Cavalieri's works, the reader is immersed in the life of an outsider, in this case a whole gallery of classic medieval archetypes and relative outsiders in their own right, as they are only revealed to the audience in theatre-like extensive monologues delivered to them directly in a genius blend of performance and interview, I found myself constantly asking who is the interviewer? But, that question is not something that requires a definitive answer.

Information is pieced together through the murmurs of women, most of whom appear to have little moral culpability for Jack, except for the closing speech, which connects with the remorse we feel after the fact, when it's too late to alter anything. This is further kept together by a god-like narrator recounting to us Jack's wonders and woes, along with fantastic gothic imagery scattered with brutalist and increasingly modernist architecture, which appears to move away from purity as the tale proceeds.

To expand on this final point, I take away from this film the harmful and immoral stupidity that has steadily engulfed the now-isolated former United Kingdom. Brett Gregory, the director/writer, also thoughtfully and efficiently adapts each chaotic pane of Bosch's painting into its own narrative act, a challenging feat to do but one that rarely failed to astound me.

In short summary, excellent writing and a fresh plot, with some wonderful characters and a vivid direction, respectfully paying due to the world of art and literature alike.

This is a mysterious, monologue-fuelled masterpiece filmed on a shoestring in the heart of gritty Manchester and beyond. Great writing, visuals, direction and performances, all round.

This is a difficult film to examine since it appears to defy interpretation, and even on interpretation I feel as though there is a little something for everybody to take away from this unique indie arthouse attack.

The entire sensation is channelled through a fascinating collection of pieces to camera, ranging from the painfully poignant Reuben Clarke recounting his abuse to Wendy Patterson's frustratingly soul-crushing authority, who is a perfect portrayal of the robotic kafka-esque bureaucrats who care not for creativity and freedom.

One of the few films that genuinely achieves the dreamy feeling that many claim to have. The slowness of the introduction, the bridging of the narrative as it fades in and out, and the impression the camera provides us as the viewer's eyes, with no control over where you're going all set the setting for a mesmerizingly bizarre experience that can only be compared to a dream. Similarly, dreams may be interpreted in a variety of ways.

I'd recommend giving this a watch if you are able to find it outside of Manchester.

Rare, to find a film like this that is so nauseatingly intrusive on how we currently behave and live, under a fallen empire, sank by avarice and false nationalism.

It's clear to see this was done on a small budget, which admittedly took me time to adjust to and actively engage with the genius monologue driven writing that is on show, reminiscent of the agonising theatre of cruelty or Dreyer's 'Ordet'

I would of liked to have experienced more of the child actor, witnessed more of the narrative from his perspective I think would of shinned a more empathetic light on this piece. However, the monologue delivered by this child star is something I can't recall having been achieved at this level.

I may do an extended review in the future, but I can only recommend this unique indie film to all aspiring and currently struggling academics and filmmakers.

• DO.