Vipers

Pretty sure this movie had the slowest car chase in the history of movies. Most of the movie consisted of a few seconds of people talking followed by a few seconds of slithering snakes. Just over and over. It was insipid.

It didn't start out bad: Had a decent set-up, there were some good actors in it, and the location could have been fantastic, but was completely under-utilized. Overall, not a good effort and forgettable.

Survival Lesson: Do not fill up radio space with inane banter, especially during an active operation.

The acting isn't terrible given this ridiculous script. I don't know how you mutate a venomous snakes venom but apparently I'm doing so five snakes miraculously turn into hundreds of fully grown vipers. And apparently these snakes eat people in bites like a canine or lion or bear.

This movie would have been better had they not tried to amp up the situation by turning to the ridiculous. The Pacific Northwest is not known to be a haven for snakes since it is quite cold there.

Finally, the budget on SFX was abysmally wasted. The digital snakes sometimes move like a snake would but more often than not the snakes are just too damned fast and (especially ridiculous) move in a linear manner like a child's toy being pulled on a string. Oh yes, did you know that dying snakes cry out like an injured dog? Neither did I.

There are points where you can see how it might have been better, but more often than not it's just laughably bad.

Ridiculous movie with great actors wasting their time. Just why do people do this? The vipers are puny for genetically enhanced creatures and the special effects are laughable. It packs no horror punch at all. Irrelevant plotlines with adults acting bad...so they get eaten by the snakes? Dull as the last sermon on a Sunday afternoon.

Thank God for the glorious Tara Reid whose very presence makes it worth suffering through this. All three stars are for her.

A set of vipers has been taken by the scientists, and they have mutated them to make a cure for cancer... then their experiment goes awry, and all these vipers escape into the woods, and they are not only biting people, they are actually killing people, in a little town.

I had low expectations because of Tara Reid, but frankly she was no worse than anyone else in the movie and may actually have even been good by comparison. I hate to almost say a good word about Reid, but there it is, the closest I may ever come.

The problem with this film is easy to point out: the special effects. Snakes that take over an island and eat people (apparently including their clothes, bones and tents)? Sounds pretty good, like a classic 1950s sci-fi movie. Well, not this time. The snakes look so poor, they just ruin every scene they are in (which is most of the movie). SyFy has made a lot of poor special effects decisions, but this may be their worst.

Look out for the vipers! They are coming and they are going to bite your face right off of your body and then eat it and they you will be totes dead!

Tara Reid might be able to save us from the vipers I sure hope so otherwise they will bite right through our chests and we will be so completely dead.

I am scared of snakes and the scariest snakes of all are these vipers with their super strength and genius level intelligence. They are hunting us and will kill us all! They will come for us in our sleep and eat our heads off!

Save us Tera Reid!