Devil's Tomb

Essentially, it's another one of those "US Soldiers release another monster in Iraq" movies. This time, it's a "fallen angel" called a Nephilim...

Of course, they get stuff wrong, like saying the "Hebrews" is in the Old Testament (It's actually in the New) or that a Military doctor would have the rank of Sergeant. (Actually, military doctors are commissioned officers.)

Cuba Gooding is just sad, because he used to be a promising actor. Now he's sharing a stage with a bunch of no-names. Ron Perleman phones it in for another session... The story has all the depth of a video game...

What could go wrong in a movie starring Cuba Gooding Jr., Ron Perlman and Henry Rollins? Just about everything.

The narrating style at the start and end, like some sort of series pilot or something, was a dead give away. Both Ron Perlman and Henry Rollins just have episodic roles while Cuba plays the most unmilitary special team leader I have ever seen. And the plot is sickening in both the clichés and its stupidity.

There is only one thing worst than a bad movie: a pretentious bad movie that is boring and tries to fool you watching it through casting and other artifices of marketing. Only one thing could have saved this film: seeing Stephanie Jacobsen naked. It didn't happen.

Watch out guys - the review saying this movie is "surprisingly" good - is being sarcastic! - it's actually pretty dead on if you're in on the joke - maybe I'm just slow, but I did not get it - and now it's too late - I've wasted my time on this pile of s...! I guess a movie titled " The Devil's Tomb" is never gonna be Oscar material, but I still expected some kind of dumb entertainment of some sort - but what a letdown! Only fun to be had is trying to keep track of all the dumb moves this crew of "elite" soldiers pull off. It's truly a special team Cuba Gooding has managed to form here - there's a rookie on board too - everyone makes fun of him - but he might just be the wisest of the bunch. Speaking bout rookie stuff - this movie is just so poorly made that it's impossible to get into on any kind of level! What I'm trying to say is: whatever You do - DON'T waste your time on this one!

Okay! So when does the real movie start? Hi, to whoever is reading this? 2009 has seen some pretty good comebacks such as “Righteous Kill” with Robert De Niro and Al Pachino, so in that sense I was hoping for such a comeback from Cuba Gooding. The guy performed marvelously in “Men of Honor” and showed talent in “Pearl Harbor” but when I read the plot of his last movie I got the shivers. “The Devil’s tomb” revolves around the idea of an elite group of soldiers that are on a covert mission to retrieve a scientist from an underground lab encounter an ancient evil in the facility. Hmm…kinda sound like “Resident evil” + “The Exorcist”, but what the heck, innocent until proved guilty as the saying goes. When I started watching the movie I was stunned at the silly plot, empty conversations, bad actors play , the bad effects and cheesy make up. The satanic element was supposed to be an attention-grabber but for me it was a completely the opposite. Its not that I don’t like these kinds of movies , I actually enjoy them but this time I was just …Irritated would be the right word I guess. The dark and satanic were completely lacking and what was left were religious zombies that spat goo on “elite” soldiers. It’s a low- budget project so that should be an excuse for some of the blunders but the actors just made me feel as though they played only for as much money as they received. They had no feeling, no will to make a good role. It was as if they had a hard time getting up when they thought of their roles. Even Cuba Gooding, of whom I had such good impressions, disappoints with his performance. The sexually charged scenes were actually ruined , in my opinion, by some disgusting moments ( the make up…) In conclusion I would like to say that this is a movie that will irreversibly waste one and a half hours of your live. Heck, the movie is not really worth the reading of this review. So, NO ,I don’t recommend it to anyone. STAY CLEAR of this movie even if there is nothing else to watch.

It really is embarrassing to see an Oscar winner such as Cuba Gooding Jr. and other talented veterans wasting their time with such third rate material. Even horror lovers willing to check out just about anything may grow weary of this one, as it's stuff we've all seen before. It's religion / apocalypse theme nonsense (directed by Sean Connery's son Jason) with dumb, dumb characters, supposedly playing a crack Special Forces team, recruited to probe the mystery of what happened at an underground installation / archaeological dig. Cuba's character Captain Mack is the guy in charge, and it's dispiriting to see him look so weary, and clearly thinking, "Can someone please rescue me from this junk?"

The rest of the cast doesn't fare any better, despite the presence of some familiar faces. Among those on Cuba's team are Zack Ward, Jason London, and Franky G. The female cast members - Taryn Manning, Valerie Cruz, and Stephanie Jacobsen - are all attractive, but watching them fails to add much appeal to this thing. Bill Moseley, Ray Winstone, and Ron Perlman are all slumming badly here; Perlman, certainly, looks like he couldn't care less. So why should the viewer? Not even the brief nudity supplied by Holly Weber, or the casting of Henry Rollins as a priest, is really reason enough to sit through this. There is enough gore and grossness on hand to allow for some amusement.

Badly written, badly directed, and totally lacking in suspense and excitement, "The Devil's Tomb" couldn't even get up to average level, even for a B movie lover such as this viewer.

Four out of 10.