Kambakkht Ishq

Gosh, I thought that they had buried movies about the 'battle of the sexes' and 'swashbuckling stunt-men' way back in the 20th Century. And yet, here it is, all exhumed, reanimated and outfitted with Hollywood names the likes of Sly Stallone, Denise Richards and Brandon Routh - and called 'Kambakkht Ishq'. The title is derived from the popular number, 'Kambakkht Ishq' from Ram Gopal Varma's film, 'Pyaar Tune Kya Kiya'.

Directed by Sabbir Khan, 'Kambakkht Ishq' is loud, crude, clichéd, campy and utterly predictable. And if you are curious about the (advertised) roles of its Hollywood supporting stars, let's say that their parts are so cheesy, you can open a pastry shop with them. Imagine a geriatric Stallone reprising his Rambo role and you will know what I mean.

The movie is a remake of the 2002 Tamil film 'Pammal K. Sambandam'. It is about a 'super' Indian stuntman in Hollywood (Akshay Kumar as Viraj Shergill) who meets an Indian supermodel (Kareena Kapoor as Simrita Rai) at his brother's (Aftab Shivdasani as Lucky) wedding in church. Both the leads are unhappy about the marriage of Lucky and Simrita's sister Kamini (Amrita Arora) and the battle lines are drawn at the wedding reception where we see the movie's most dazzlingly choreographed number that ends in a tasteless and farcical brawl.

Yeah, Viraj and Simrita hate each other. In Bollywood terms, it means they are gonna do lots of idiotic things before they finally realise that they love each other right from the get-go.

The first half is more tolerable than the second. Sabbir Khan loads the first hour with action-packed stunt sequences and dance numbers that take us from Hollywood to Italy. Then he has to take such a long time to render the outcome of the 'battle of the sexes' plot which everyone in the audience already knows. And if that is not bad enough, Sabbir Khan also does recaps of his scenes - in case we missed them or forget them! The director also could not resist crude 'American Pie' gags like having the protagonist fart in the face of a bride, having the heroine curse like a sailor; and going over-the-top with an 'anal search' scene. Character development is minimal, and the cast are unimpressive, with the age-old device of having the 'hero' supported by a clownish aide (in the form of Vindu Dara Singh). And whose idea was it to have Viraj undergo open abdomen surgery without anaesthesia? Of the stars, Kareena shines brightest in a badly-written role. She is the most watchable but alas, not quite enough good to stop this "Dumbakkht" from sinking.

The review I had read before the release gave it a 3.5 stars stating that it was a solid entertainer, brilliant, hilarious comedy, and if not always laughing, but it'll always have you smiling, at all times. I've been through worse, so I sat through it. And, for once, HYPE didn't kill this movie. This movie was dead before it hit the screens.

Akshay Kumar with his stupid stunts, worse-than-ever performance at some points, irritating cliché expressions is the most destructive factor of the movie. He did it in Chandni Chowk, then in Tasveer, and now Kambakkht Ishq. The direction is so stupid and abrupt, you just wonder why did they show this scene? What was the point of that line he said? The cinematography and editing was good, and so were three of the songs. The script was bad, and seriously, it was bad. And the only thing about the movie which I liked was, well, Bebo.

How the hell did a superstar like Sylvester Stallone wind up in the middle of a gang-way alley to save Bebo from gangsters? Yes, Sylvester Stallone is himself in the movie. How can a superstar of his fame arrive there, JUST at the time required?? Age-old-traditional bollywood rigidity, one that shall never change, I guess.

Time's up Akki. Time up. 4/10, ONLY for Bebo and the songs.

I honestly truly believe that this movie is the worst movie I have seen in years. I hold a great respect for Indian cinema and I have been in love with Bollywood since before I could even walk my first step.

The thing about this movie is that it is ridiculously illogical in every single aspect, not to mention the lead actors serious problem of over-acting. I loved Kareena in 'Jab we met' and I thought "well this girl finally proved that she can indeed act normally", but this movie changed my mind.

To be fair though, I did laugh at times. Not because the scenes were funny, but because they were sooooo stupid that I just couldn't help myself.

'Kambakkht Ishq' has been in the buzz for a long,long time. The film has been awaited... why? Akshay Kumar and Kareena Kapoor are the lead actors, the film is produced by Sajid Nadiadwala and has 3 Hollywood Supertstars, Stallone, Routh and Denise Richards. But with all these trumps does this flick entertain? The answer is NO!

The problem with Kambakkht Ishq is that it's a senseless film. The film hardly has a script, Debutant Director Sabbir Khan makes a disappointing fare. The first hr of the film is yet passable, but the second is just unbearable. The film has 'A' class production value, but script wise, its a complete disappointment.

Pluses of the film: Sajid Nadiadwala is a classy producer, he has left no stone unturned to make this flick. Akshay, Kareena, Stallone, Routh & Denise Richards are the pluses as well. Akshay is in form once again, but he's again done a film that throws even the least amount of logic into the trash bin. Kareena looks great and delivers a good performance. Stallone, Routh, Denise are perfect in cameos. Stallone's action scene, where he bashes up the goons will be will loved by one and all. Aftab & Amrita do their parts perfectly. Vindhu Singh is just right.

Minuses: Sabbir Khan's direction and screenplay. Anu Malik's music is mediocre. Talented actors like Kirron Khan and Jaaved Jaffery are wasted in apologetic roles.

Those 5 stars are in order -- 1 for Sajid Nadiadwala's high class production, 1 for Akki, 1 for Kareena, 1 for Stallone, and 1 is shared by Denise and Routh.

To sum up the review, 'Kambakkht Ishq' is a letdown.

Well, with the media taking its toll on Kambakkht Ishq & Akshay Kumar - the expectations runs low and the movie turns out better than expected. Akshay Kumar must be kicking himself not having exercised caution (read that "choose wisely") when he was just between the cup-and-the-lip. Lightning doesn't strike twice my dear friend.

Anyways, the love-you & loathe you sequences start from the word go and until it reaches finale there is a fair share of story interlaced with emotion, drama, comedy, tragedy etc. Having said that, there was immense potential to improvise - but hey, who am I to say!

¤ Akshay Kumar:: Much before he struck gold I always carried an opinion that give him a nickel and Akshay delivers in dimes. Post success streak that became his style. And now - I am back to my original opinion.

¤ Kareena:: The "Poo" character return (albeit in size zero!).

¤ Javed Jaffery:: Seriously, what was he doing there?

¤ Aftab & Amrita:: Glorified junior-artistes. Reminds me of Rajendranath/ Shobha Khote of 60's.

¤ Vindu:: Good to see after a long hiatus. And trying a hand at comedy, eh?

¤ Boman Irani & Kiron Kher:: Under-utilisation at its best. Seriously - is money everything?

¤ Hollywood star-cast:: Beyond my comprehension as to why they were there in the first place. Too much of money to flaunt around I guess. The plot could have easily been based in India.

¤ Sabir Khan:: Obviously, the master doesn't teach everything to the disciple (ref. Mujhse Shaadi Karogi!)

¤ Nadiadwala:: Time to pull up your socks and ensure quality goods are delivered under your baton.

Finally, the movie is completely inspired (should I abstain from the word plagiarised?) by Pammal K. Sambandam. Had the project been executed legally involving the great thespian to overlook the proceedings - the results would have been far more superior. On that same note, yesterday I read the producers of Namaste London suing the Bengali filmmaker for copyright infringement. Hello Mr. Akshay Kumar... pot calling the kettle black eh?