Mutants

I watched part of this movie a long time ago. It's such a forgettable movie that I have to go and read the reviews every time because I keep forgetting which stupid movie this is, and whether or not I've ever seen it. So let that be a lesson to you: Don't waste your time watching because you won't remember later what it's about, it's that bad.

As for Van Damme being a better actor to play the role played by Michael Ironside, I have to agree with drnrg31. A few possibilities: (a) Van Damme read the script and rejected it because it was too lame even for him. (b) Van Damme gave the role to Ironside because the latter needed the money more. (c) Van Damme was busy and so the movie people twisted the arm of Michael Ironside to do it as a favor. (d) Ironside left his brain at home the day people asked him to do the role.

Rating Breakdown: Story - 1.00 :: Direction - 0.75 :: Pacing - 0.50 :: Performances - 0.75 :: Entertainment - 0.75 TOTAL - 3.75/10

You know that feeling when you order a burger, expecting a juicy, mouth-watering masterpiece, only to find a lukewarm, sad-looking slab of grey meat? That, my friends, is precisely what watching Mutants feels like. It takes a deliciously devious concept, corporate greed meets chemical catastrophe, and turns it into something as thrilling as watching paint dry.

The premise sounds delightful: a food manufacturer, desperate for profit, commissions a scientist to create an addictive additive. The unintended side effect? Overindulgence turns consumers into flesh-ripping, brain-melting mutants. Or at least, that's what should have happened. Instead, we get a sluggish trudge through mediocrity, occasionally stumbling into something vaguely resembling horror.

Budget constraints, you say? That still does not explain why the mutants shuffle about like zombies who have just heard their apocalypse shift was extended indefinitely. Expecting Aliens meets 28 Days Later? Think again. I have seen scarier things lurking in my fridge.

And, the directorial pace is slower than the mutants. A five-year-old with a VHS camcorder might have crafted something with more energy. Tension is a distant dream, and at times, I wondered if the film was a secret cure for insomnia. Even Michael Ironside, that beacon of grizzled authority, is wasted in a glorified cameo. The same goes for Steven Bauer, briefly reminding us that talent is present but entirely squandered.

What truly stings is the wasted potential. This could have been an energetic, tongue-in-cheek gore fest in the vein of Tremors or Re-Animator. Instead, it feels like an endurance test, where the only reward is the relief of the credits rolling.

Should you watch it? Only if you enjoy mild resentment as you imagine all the better films that could have been. If you seek mutant mayhem done right, revisit The Thing or The Stuff. But if you want actual entertainment, avoid Mutants like an expired gas station sandwich. It is unappetising, unfulfilling, and best left undiscovered.

While investigating her brother's disappearance, a woman and her father find that the sugar company they both work for is developing a new strain that will increase the normal addictive qualities but turns it's victims into rage-filled zombies and race to stop them before he becomes a new test subject.

One of the most paltry, pathetic zombie movies ever devised, mostly due to the fact that the strain of calling these creatures zombies is so strong that it's almost an insult to the rest of the genre. These are the infected '28 Days Later' style zombies, so that automatically earns derision for the sheer inclusion of it but also because the zombies are literally in the film for twenty minutes, with the rest of the film taken up in flashback about how we've come to where we are. It's stupid, lame and doesn't have anything worthwhile going on, barely qualifying as a horror film even during these segments, forget about delivering anything of substance or entertainment value. This one was just plain terrible.

Rated R: Graphic Violence, Graphic Language and drug use

The greedy Braylon (Richard Zeringue) owns the Just Rite Sugar Company and has hired the unethical scientist Sergei (Armando Leduc) to conduct an experiment to make an addictive sugar stronger than heroin or nicotine to increase his sales. Sergei uses invisible people as test subjects, like beggars, addicted junkies and illegals, in the clandestine Shadow Rock Mill. When Braylon's men mistakenly kidnap Ryan (Derrick Denicola), who is the brother of his secretary Erin (Sharon Landry) and son of his security chief Griff (Louis Herthum), and Hannah (Jessica Heap), the youngster becomes an important non-contaminated subject. However, Erin receives some mysterious e-mails from the unknown Cinderella with a picture of Ryan and a hint that he might be in Shadow Rock and together with her father, they decide to seek out Ryan.

"Mutants" is an awfully imbecile and lame movie. The plot is ridiculous and the acting is terrible. The IMDb Rating of 2.9 tells everything and I have nothing else to say about this crap. My vote is two.

Title (Brazil): "Mutantes – Medo e Verdade" ("Mutants – Fear and Truth")

What was Michael Ironside thinking being in this pile of dog crud? It's beyond bad. It is painfully boring and not in the slightest bit entertaining. It's like a poor TV film with make up that looks like it was applied by a child ....so cheap.

Mutants!? Just a handful of extras with naff bubbles on arm and race to supposedly signify I texted. And they are hardly in it. About 5 mins of terrible extras running around with badly overdubbed stock sounds of people screaming. It's truly one of the worst films I have endured in years. Had to keep skipping forward just hoping something would happen.

Ironside must have been blackmailed to be in this..........he also walks around with old man pants on trying to look hard but appears to have crapped his pants. Well looked that way.

I wish I could score it lower.

Also it's a classic case of cover art being absolutely nothing going like the film. There should be a law against misleading trash like that.

AVOID. TRUST ME. I wish I had been warned. Luckily it was extremely cheap and bought off eBay mistakenly as believed it was another film with same name. Not even giving it away. Put straight in bin so no one else is stained with its pointlessness.