Secrets of the Clown

Most who watch this film, they'll become entertainment critics. Acting is not of high standard. What do you expect if financing is limited? However, you must follow "Val" to eventually discover this movies intentions. A library is her place of duty. Before getting to know "Val," this movie is set in motion by a woman who hears an intruder. Her companion grabs a weapon and her, she waits. Next to their house is where "Val" plays with her spell that is her. This movie is a combination of now and the afterlife and more importantly, the figure who murders for "Val." Those into these films won't be at all bothered by low quality acting. Compared to better films in which murders look real, this movie does not go that far or get that intense at murdering. Messages written in blood and the ever presence of the 'EYE' are in this movie. Eve was there! Her "EYE" is law. If you rather watch these kinds of films with gruesome murders, this movie is not as vicious or to put it better, not as realistic. If you don't care than you'll probably enjoy this film.

Writer and director Ryan Badalamenti opens up the world of Bobby and Val for us. They're the typical couple in love, with two glaring exceptions: first, her love for her clown doll might exceed her love of Bobby. And second, their friends are in the habit of getting brutally murdered. Who is the killer, and what is the secret of the clown doll?

As someone who semi-professionally reviews low budget films, I always walk into the movie expecting to be visually tortured. For example, just a night earlier, I watched "Raptor Island", which ranks among the most horrible films ever made (yet is still somehow good enough to make it on TV). Let me ease your fears: "Secrets of the Clown" is not one of those low budget films -- it has a great plot, decent characters and a villain that can really kick some butt.

A specific concern I had with this film was the "clown horror subgenre" stigma. After "It" and "Killer Klowns From Outer Space", most people -- and I was in this group -- think we've said all we need to about clowns. Well, Badalamenti proved me wrong. "Secrets" is a welcome addition to the genre, and goes to new heights no one has dared take it before.

The movie isn't perfect by a long shot. Some scenes, most notably the introduction, seem to be poorly lit and it's hard to make out what's going on. Some of the acting is a bit stiff, particularly from Paul Pierro (Bobby). When Bobby is among his friends, Pierro's limits really shine through as he is outdone by every other actor on the screen. Some of their acting seemed forced, but it wasn't anything more tragic than the average Rolfe Kanefsky ("Hazing", "Nightmare Man") film, and I have a special love in my heart for Rolfe.

Those concerns aside, there's plenty to love about "Secrets of the Clown". The director and director of photography know the camera and know their targets. Plenty of angles are used and we're not treated to the same boring "point and shoot" method one all-too-often runs across. The score also deserves a mention -- the blend of incidental music and good, clean rock was apparent from the start and used in all the appropriate places. The last thing you want is an absence of sound or too much and the balance here is perfect.

Horror fans who crave blood will get blood. Oh yes, there will be blood! Not much in the gore department, and far too many of the killings happen off-camera... but I cannot stress enough about the blood. This film is an exploding aneurysm with gallons and gallons of glorious blood! Contrary to Paul Pierro's performance (where his best line is a "South Park" reference), we have actor Micheal Kott, who plays the psychic. Kott is phenomenal, with both his character and his acting nothing short of outstanding. While the film is good before Kott arrives, it becomes a whole new movie when he's on screen and something you can't take your eyes off. From his entrance to the final battle (but who fights who? you have to wait and see), Kott steals the show.

Not to give anything away, but this film has more than a few plot twists. I thought I knew five minutes in where the movie was going. I was wrong. Then I thought an hour in I understood, but I was wrong. But despite the twists, everything still makes perfect sense, which is more than I can say for some trendy writers who think a twist -- sensical or not -- is all a film needs. M. Night Shyamalan could learn a lesson from Ryan Badalamenti.

So, should you see "Secrets of the Clown"? I think anyone who enjoys lower budget or independent horror should have to say yes. Forget Hollywood blockbusters and expensive CGI -- this is what horror was meant to be. Oh, and for those who love skin... keep your eyes open for Playboy model Susie Christine. You won't be disappointed.

This movie combines a killer clown, a spooky doll & some good old black magic. Sounds interesting? Well it could've been. Sadly the acting here is terrible & it looks like it was filmed on a mobile phone from 2007. Apart from a few tongue in check moments later on this film takes itself far too seriously. I think the makers must have thought that they were making a SCARY movie but the only scary thing about this trash is that it got made & released in the first place. If it wasn't for a fair smattering of cheap gore I'd have awarded this 1/10. Very, very BAD!

I've seen movies with similar budgets turn out to be quite successful despite the restraints put on them by their lack of funding. This film on the other hand takes that $140,000 budget and uses it to deliver a steaming pile of shart directly into your internal being; and once you see SotC you may never again be able to unsee it. I'm just going to jump to the point with this one, you'll absolutely love just how much you hate this movie. I mean it's quite astonishing the sensation you get from watching it. You'll enjoy the experience but also die a little inside in doing so. Simply put, there is no "liking" this movie. If someone were to say otherwise I would seriously question that person's sanity. The fact that it was even released out into the world still baffles me to this day. I made the unfortunate mistake of supporting this clown and to top off the icing on that cake of sadness, I've seen this movie not once, but THREE times. Believe me when I say I have no idea why, but I'll probably see it a 4th someday. You've probably made better movies with the very first cell phone you got in the early- mid 2000's which couldn't even take video. If you don't want to get mad to the point where you're seeing red, avoid this movie like the plague.

I only had to watch fifteen minutes of this "film" to realize how bad it truly is (outside the prior reviews). Many other low-budget films on direct video are far better than this mess. This "thing" is more a low-low budget behind-the-scenes movie wannabe than an actual release. The biggest thing that stood out to me in the opener was the gal's cleavage shots. As if this imagery is reason enough to finish the movie.. every Horror film has excellent cleavage moments.. that's what psycho serial killers aim for, and makes for a pretty up-tense film (I don't think so)

Don't waste your time (or $$)

This is a train-wreck at its finest; terrible directing, acting, cinematography, and general overall production.