Sat, May 16, 2015
The episode opens with Analmolly, brimming with childlike glee, having just received a hefty sum of money from his (surprisingly successful) YouTube channel. Fueled by a potent combination of naivete and a desperate desire for a virtual butterfly knife, Analmolly dives headfirst into the treacherous world of CS:GO crate openings. Papanomaly, ever the reluctant but supportive friend, tries to warn him of the impending financial doom, but Analmolly, fueled by YouTube comments promising "insane profits," is on a one-way trip to bankruptcy. Meanwhile, Lindeeznuts is tasked with preparing their traditional Finnish dinner: Karjalanpiirakka (Karelian pasties). However, a crucial ingredient, the precious Viili (curdled milk), is missing. This sends Analmolly into a meltdown of epic proportions, culminating in the aforementioned "cod liver oil shampoo" incident - a "prank" that leaves Lindeeznuts fuming and the entire house smelling like a fisherman's dream. Dejected by his crate opening misfortune (and the distinct lack of a butterfly knife), Analmolly decides to drown his sorrows at the local pub. Papanomaly, ever the charismatic ladies' man, effortlessly captivates the pub with his "sigma skibidi moves" (much to Analmolly's envy). Social awkwardness takes hold of Analmolly, and he resorts to his usual antics - picking fights with patrons over obscure CS:GO lore and attempting (and failing) to impress them with his (non-existent) knowledge of Finnish Tango. The night ends with Papanomaly carrying a heavily intoxicated Analmolly home, all while dodging flying potatoes from a particularly disgruntled Lindeeznuts. The episode closes with Analmolly, sprawled on the couch, clutching a participation trophy (his only reward from the crates), delivering his signature nonsensical rant about the futility of existence (and the unfairness of the CS:GO economy).