Rock Monster

I love "B" movies.. and i don't care for many of the sci-fi channel "Made for TV" ones..

But this one was o.k.

The humor (intentional) added a light-hearted aspect that kept it entertaining.

The special effects were typical "Sci-Fi" channel cgi..

The acting was better than some.. but not Oscar nomination material.

The story was decent.....

Rate it 6 out of 10.. not a bad way to kill some time.

My wife thinks i'm insane for watching movies like this... but hey... we all find entertainment in different forms.. I remember one of my fondest memories growing up was watching Saturday Afternoon "B" sci-fi movies with my father on the local independent channel (WUAB out of Cleveland.).. this brought back some fond memories.

The bad guy, who has a megalomania problem, looks like a refugee from an Uwe Bolle movie, complete with the lousy accent, shaved bald head, phony make-up, and ridiculous black leather jacket costuming. Most of the time he's making "I will take over the world and here's how I'll do it!" speeches.

But the rock creature is even more pathetic. CGI animation that looks like it was done by Mickey Mouse, and the thing is less scary than Mickey is. It hobbles around, looking like it's going to crumble into a pile of fake-looking pebbles any moment. Meanwhile, Uwe Bolle, or whatever his name is, screams dumb comments to and about the thing any chance he gets to shoot his mouth off. The hero: some guy in an orange down jacket that he never takes off. At least this guy made an effort to act, as did his love interest and the guy playing the Major. But with a script this sloppy, they end up looking silly too.

Somebody smash this rocky horror with a sledge hammer.

The story is not predictable, because you can describe it in a short paragraph. The rest of it was simply filler - a guy trying to walk to another town after failing to do so in a car and seeing it destroying two vehicles; the rock monster being blown to the ground after hitting a car with its fist and making it explode, but not at the least bit affected by a grenade; the monster throwing trees and cars around at attackers, but does nothing except getting stabbed by a guy coming at it with a sword. that sort of thing.

I don't want to call anyone names, but I think the only people that calls this movie good is either involved in the production, or, well, let's not go there.

There's really only one reason to watch this awful movie, so let's get it out of the way as fast as possible: Jon Polito's bit part is awesome. I don't think Polito knew "Rock Monster" wasn't a parody, but it all worked out fine. Most semi-established actors that take jobs in low-budget garbage totally phone it in, but Polito does the exact opposite and chews the scenery like there's no tomorrow. Damn it, why isn't he the lead? Unfortunately the Polito-free bits are much harder to sit through, mainly because everything just moves at a snail's pace. Take for instance the whole sequence after they "kill" the monster for a first time: you know the movie's only halfway done, you know it's not really dead yet. Why do they show the villagers celebrating for what feels like eight hours? Get to the damn point. Furthermore, why do they put so much effort into killing the indestructible supercreature when they know for a fact that it's controlled by a mortal guy who can barely take a punch? Damn it, just kill that guy! I guess these Russian villagers just really enjoy challenges, that's probably why they speak English with one another as well. Overall there's just nothing about "Rock Monster" that kept my attention. Everything about it is terrible, but at the same time not terrible enough to really laugh at. So basically, it's one of the most frustrating B-movies you can encounter. Steer clear.

I saw the premier of this, i orignially had high hopes for this film but after seeing it, I had different thoughts.

There are some elements from other films that they put into this film, like my title, sword in the stone, could they have thought of anything else creative? I don't think so.

Story was OK, acting was descent, it was so cheesy when Jason said "You'll go no further" classic line. I did'nt like the fact that the one Arician American person went away immediately, i think that they should of kept him until the end of the film.

I did'nt really like this film very much, kinda cheesy for me, hopefully they will have a better one than this.