Rock Monster

... if you only have one TV channel available and are tired of crying from boredom.

A guy pulls an Excalibur stunt with a sword, stumbles into a backwards village, finds a hottie and ridiculousness ensues. I kept watching in hopes of finding redemption in *something*....*anything*... But the only part of the movie I enjoyed was the credits (Because that's what gave me the hot co-star's name so I could Google her and see if she has any other movies she may have been more "exposed" in.) While this production may have been recently created, it was certainly founded in the old-school style of where the bad guy lays out his plans in an extended speech to the reluctant, possibly mentally challenged movie hero.

I never honestly expected quality movies on the SyFy channel and I can certainly say they did not let me down on this one.

I would've given this movie a 1, but Natalie Denise Sperl adds "1" to the entire movie.

There's really only one reason to watch this awful movie, so let's get it out of the way as fast as possible: Jon Polito's bit part is awesome. I don't think Polito knew "Rock Monster" wasn't a parody, but it all worked out fine. Most semi-established actors that take jobs in low-budget garbage totally phone it in, but Polito does the exact opposite and chews the scenery like there's no tomorrow. Damn it, why isn't he the lead? Unfortunately the Polito-free bits are much harder to sit through, mainly because everything just moves at a snail's pace. Take for instance the whole sequence after they "kill" the monster for a first time: you know the movie's only halfway done, you know it's not really dead yet. Why do they show the villagers celebrating for what feels like eight hours? Get to the damn point. Furthermore, why do they put so much effort into killing the indestructible supercreature when they know for a fact that it's controlled by a mortal guy who can barely take a punch? Damn it, just kill that guy! I guess these Russian villagers just really enjoy challenges, that's probably why they speak English with one another as well. Overall there's just nothing about "Rock Monster" that kept my attention. Everything about it is terrible, but at the same time not terrible enough to really laugh at. So basically, it's one of the most frustrating B-movies you can encounter. Steer clear.

I love "B" movies.. and i don't care for many of the sci-fi channel "Made for TV" ones..

But this one was o.k.

The humor (intentional) added a light-hearted aspect that kept it entertaining.

The special effects were typical "Sci-Fi" channel cgi..

The acting was better than some.. but not Oscar nomination material.

The story was decent.....

Rate it 6 out of 10.. not a bad way to kill some time.

My wife thinks i'm insane for watching movies like this... but hey... we all find entertainment in different forms.. I remember one of my fondest memories growing up was watching Saturday Afternoon "B" sci-fi movies with my father on the local independent channel (WUAB out of Cleveland.).. this brought back some fond memories.

I saw the premier of this, i orignially had high hopes for this film but after seeing it, I had different thoughts.

There are some elements from other films that they put into this film, like my title, sword in the stone, could they have thought of anything else creative? I don't think so.

Story was OK, acting was descent, it was so cheesy when Jason said "You'll go no further" classic line. I did'nt like the fact that the one Arician American person went away immediately, i think that they should of kept him until the end of the film.

I did'nt really like this film very much, kinda cheesy for me, hopefully they will have a better one than this.

I reserve that dishonour to the likes of Titanic II, Alien vs Predator, Dinocroc vs. Supergator, Super Tanker, 2010: Moby Dick and Quantum Apocalypse. But that is not saying Rock Monster is good, it is not, at least not to me. It gets plus points for some okay, if not great, acting, especially from the lead and Jon Polito, though David Figlioni overdoes it pretty badly, and a few moments of good-natured goofy charm. However, this is really one of those movies where the title itself tells you all you need to know. The story is incredibly basic and predictable, not much difficult from other creature movies of the SyFy channel, with some ridiculous suspend-disbelief moments, like the ending, and some of it feels rushed through. The final act completely falls apart, compared to some of the film's good nature this part feels like a completely different movie and in all honesty I lost interest. The script had a few quirks that I liked, but overall it was cheesy and all over the place, and the characters are stereotypical and not always easy to engage with. As for the effects, I have no better news, the Rock Monster/Creature of the title looks cheap and has no menace whatsoever. All in all, not one of SyFy's worst, but ridiculous and not much different from other SyFy movies of this genre. 3/10 Bethany Cox